Yo, is Cyberdyne Systems engineering mascaras now? Because everything about Lancome’s new Grandiose Mascara ($32, available in one shade, Noir) says, “BEHOLD! I am from the future, primitive bipedal creature, and I am here to rewrite mascara history as we know it! I mean…as you know it, because I already know it, of course, so I’m referring to you. As YOU know it… That’s what I meant to say. Oh, never mind!”
The wonderfully weird curved neck and tapered tube, the black rose silhouetted on the side — it’s as if an advanced artificial intelligence developed what we humans were too daft to figure out.
It’s all very sci-fi, if you ask me.
The purpose of this mascara’s programming is pretty obvs. The funky brush. Lancome says they spent three years developing a brush that could grab every last lash — even the hard-to-reach buggers that hide in the inner and outer corners — and coupling it with a formula for a dramatic, fanned lash look with lots of length, volume and curl.
Inside the box, there’s even a fairly detailed schematic demonstrating wand positions and brush flips, which may or may not leave you feeling as though you’re about to attempt brain surgery (or build a cabinet from Ikea).