I put on some make up yesterday, and to be honest…I didn’t feel super great about it.
For one, I am deeply out of practice, and blending is a perishable skill, let me tell ya. So, my blending skills aren’t as “keen” as they once were. Two, I wore much less makeup than I normally wear when I plan to take pics of it with a DSLR camera, photography lights, off-camera flash and the other photography doo-dads, and makeup intended to be photographed is a whole different beast than makeup for everyday real life. Mainly, the lighting is different, and mobile phone cameras incorporate a bunch of fancy AI to compensate for the smaller optical sensors. Long story short, things don’t always translate the same in pics.
ALSO, lately, all I’ve wanted to wear are “real life looks.” This is my face, this is who I am and, quite frankly, I’m rarely in the mood to go through the 2,341 steps I used to do when I put on a full face for pics.
Thing is, though, when I look at these pics, I’m having a hard time focusing on the good stuff. I keep comparing myself to the Karen from years ago, a girl who was photo-ready all the time… Heck, I’d contour just to take walk around the neighborhood and pet the cats, LOL!
I see these pics of myself now and think, “Oh, boy. I probably should’ve used a color corrector to hide that dark spot in my inner corner more thoroughly, and I should also cover that dark patch above my upper lip with concealer, and why didn’t I do something about that heavy lid?!” I should’ve done this, I should’ve done that, yadda-yadda-yadda.
I hear all of these things in my head, but I realize that most people who see these pics aren’t going to perceive all of these things as “faults.” They’ll probably just see pictures of a smiling mid-40s stranger wearing bright lipstick.
If I were my daughter and was picking apart pictures of herself, I’d be heartbroken to hear her criticize herself so intensely. 🙁 I’d tell her that I can only see the happy look in her eyes and that I’m impressed by how beautifully and naturally she blended her blush. I’d tell her that I love the joy in her smile.
I don’t know where this propensity to constantly critique myself comes from, but I also know that we are our own worst critics. I know logically that most of the things I perceive as faults are issues that are simply not there, or things that people don’t notice at all…but that doesn’t stop me from seeing them!
I’m working on it, though. I’m working really, really hard on loving myself more, both inside and out, and that’s why I’m saying to the universe (or really anyone who’ll listen), f*ck the idea of imperfections. I don’t want to live feeling like I need to correct things that are “wrong” with my face anymore. I’m soooooooo done.
So, here’s a gentle reminder for me (and for you just in case you need it), that what you may perceive as faults aren’t as bad as you think they are.
I think you look pretty freakin’ fabulous, OK? So here’s to us — as I raise my cup of Earl Grey tea with a splash of creamer! Here’s to our sparkling eyes, our joyful smiles and our beauty, both inside and out.
I hope you have a wonderful Friday. 🙂
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,