Nails

The Need for Speed

May 30th, 2019 by Karen 19 Comments

Never have I seen a truer statement than the one emblazoned on this tin I saw at CVS the other day.

Don’t worry; they’ll disappear before you know it.

Props to the person who thought of this, because you and I both know that it’s only a matter of time before those ties disappear into that household wormhole that swallows all of the black hair ties in the world and sends them to their mysterious final destination.

Where do they all go?

Until the scientific community figures it out, I will continue to work under the assumption that they go to the cosmic playground in the sky where angel kitties swat at them for hours on end.

I’ve actually got a black tie in my hair right now because I’m typing and painting my nails. ’cause that’s how I roll. Paint, type, paint, type…

Oh, noooo. Is that a nick on my thumbnail?

Wait — it’s not. WHEW! *wipes sweat off brow.*

As I was saying, I’m multitasking, even though I’m running the risk of accidentally denting a freshly painted paw.

Faster, pussycat

I recently figured out a way to speed up the process even more, because, frankly, who has the time? Why fritter away 30 minutes of your life waiting for paint to dry when you could be doing things like squats or watching a Keanu Reeves movie (I know I’ve been talking about him a lot lately, but can you blame a girl?).

Also, I think I finally nailed (ha ha ha) the “speed mani” thanks to these few products. I’m completely done in 15 minutes. FOR REALS. Everything dries super quickly, AND the mani lasts a long time. I’m talking zero-to-very-few chips for a full week.

It’s all about that base

It starts with Sally Hansen No More Stains Spray-On Base Coat, which is also fun to use.

Doesn’t it look like a travel perfume bottle?

You just spray the clear base coat on bare nails (one or two spritzes per nail), and the thin protective layer dries in less than a minute. You don’t have to be very precise about it (it’s like you’re spraying hairspray on the tips of your fingers). Just spray, spray, spray, and ya done!

T-minus 300 seconds

On top of that, I add a couple layers of a nude shade from the Essie Gel Couture line, and it doesn’t seem to matter which color I wear — tan, pink, peach, taupe. Whichever direction I choose to go, the end result looks so-fresh-so-clean, even after a week.

Duuuuude! I’m also all about the brush. It’s wider and flatter that a typical nail polish brush, so I can paint from base to tip in even, smooth strokes.

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Power Polish

May 24th, 2019 by Karen 20 Comments

orbeez spa — This is totally a thing. (Ooh! — the colorful little beads look like boba.)

Need some faux flowers for a crafts project? How about an oversized LED flamingo? If you need something craftsy or DIY, check out Michaels, the combination craft supply store/inter-dimensional portal to an alternate reality where times as we know it does not exist.

Be warned, though: 5 minutes in a Michaels is like 8 hours in the outside world. In fact, after 15 minutes in a Michaels store…you may never actually leave; however, this danger is offset by all the weird treasures, including this children’s foot spa…

What, exactly, is so taxing to the feet of little children that they need a Calgon moment? 😂

Heck, though, if I were 8, I’d probably want one too…

GO SCIENCE

After a little googling, it turns out that the “Orbeez” in the name, “Orbeez Foot Spa,” refers to the colorful beads, and they’re a thing kids play with these days (who knew?).

The actual chemistry behind them is pretty cool. The beads are made from a super absorbent polymer, and when you add water, they grow from 100-300 times their original size.

I bet they do help tired arches, but there’s absolutely no freakin’ way I’m allowing one of these things in my home, because any time tiny, round things get set free in this #toddlerlife, it’s like Pandora’s Box. There’s just no way to ever corral them back into one place again. My three-year-old will go on to finish high school, college, then astronaut training, and I will still be vacuuming Orbeez out of dusty corners. They will most certainly haunt me for my next five lifetimes, and when I come back as a silky, long-haired ragdoll kitty, I’ll be swatting the same damn beads off the couch!

Nail polish as a source of strength?

So, when Connor inevitably asks for a spa pedicure, I’m going to put her feet in a bucket of warm water, stick some flower petals and lemon wedges in it and call it day. And then I’m going to offer up my collection of nail polishes to choose from, which also now includes this gorgeous purple from Chanel.

chanel purple ray swatch day 1 — Two coats of Chanel Purple Ray just after I painted my nails. I’m also wearing Sally Hansen No More Stains Spray-On Base Coat and Essie Platinum Grade Finish Top Coat.

chanel purple ray swatch day 6 — And here it is after six days… Good wear time!

Purple Ray ($28) is equal parts tough, elegant and optimistic (which is basically what I strive for every day of my life, ha!). I mean, that’s not the official PR description, but I think it’s accurate.

For me, nail polish isn’t just nail polish. It’s the beauty equivalent of power posing (power polishing?). Listen, when my nails are done, I feel good, and everyone and everything in my path better watch out!

It’s all about the power pose…

Sure, nail polish is just frosting (what’s inside is the most important stuff), but if looking at pretty polish on your nails reminds you that you’re a bad-@ss, then do it! Say it all day, every day long.

Say it: “I am a bad-@ss.”

And yes, I really do get this worked up from two coats of Purple Ray nail polish!

Waxing philosophic

I’m going to do a fresh mani in just a few, but I gotta sort my hair situation out first. I’m down to the last few spritzes of my beloved Oribe spray wax, so please pause for a second while I shed a perfectly placed glittery tear.

*pause* 😪

oribe flash form finishing spray wax — Lurve this spray by Oribe

Have you jumped on the spray wax train yet? GIRL. Get yourself a ticket. Grab the next ride out! ’cause spray waxes are awesome. I’ve only used the Oribe one, but it’s sooooo good. It’s a flexible finishing product that you spray on your finished style to break up the uniformity of your hair and leave you with softly defined pieces. It also adds shine, smoothness, bounce and lift.
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What’s the Longest Your Nails Have Ever Been?

May 22nd, 2019 by Karen 20 Comments

I keep my nails super short and stubby nowadays, but back in the day I had me some eagle talons! 🦅💅

I’ve been thinking about Wolverine-like nails lately because I started watching this show on Hulu called Claws…

It’s about a group of ride-or-die Florida friends with criminal ties who work in a nail salon. There’s fierce female bonding, salon gossip and — oh, yeah: murder, money laundering, booty shaking and betrayal! (Of course.)

I mostly watch it for the nail closeups (well, it’s also pretty amusing)…

The characters wear elaborate, intricate nail designs on what literally look like claws.

The nail art is amaze-balls, but there’s absolutely no way I could have nails that long at this point in my life. I might have been able to swing it back in college or in my early 20s. That’s when my claws were at their longest, which was between half an inch and an inch beyond my fingertips. They were my natural nails, too, and pretty strong. And they grew fast.

I think something changed when I hit my 40s because my nails don’t grow anywhere near as fast now, and the sides split, which never used to happen.

So now I keep ’em short and sweet.

Anywho, what’s the longest your nails have ever been?

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

Budget Beauty for $10 or Less: Sally Hansen Miracle Gel in Mauve-olous

April 17th, 2019 by Karen 8 Comments

sally hansen mauve-olous — After four days, this drugstore mani looks just as fresh as day one.

Hooray for budget beauty! In this new series, we talk about sweet finds you can get for $10 or less.

GAH. I’m getting really antsy to paint my nails with the Chanel Cruise colors. (That purple? It’s just calling my name.) So I’m gonna do that tonight, but before I go there, shout-out to my current nail polish situation, Sally Hansen’s Miracle Gel in Mauve-olous, which is indeed marvelous.

OK, this is… I painted my nails on Friday night after one of those epic bathroom sessions that El Hub makes fun of me for, because I literally can spend almost two hours in the bathroom after I put Connor down to bed. He’s like, “What are you DOING in there? Did you fall in the toilet and get stuck? Now you can’t get out?” (Side note, no, that only happens to my Velvet Teddy Lipstick, ha! 🤣 ) And I’m like, “Dude, I’m just living my best life in here, OK?” I was so happy to have some time to myself, so in celebration of that, I did a hair mask, a face mask, and I also painted my nails. 💅🏽

I did two coats of Mauve-olous on top of bare nails, and then the Miracle Gel Top Coat on top, which is the process Sally Hansen recommends, and look! — after four whole days, there’s only a little bit coming off at the ends of my nails (as to be expected). But really, no big chips. Sure, the shine has dulled, but the polish still more or less looks like fresh paint. I’m betting this could easily go six or seven solid days.

I’ll be wearing it again, for sure.

By the way, Mauve-olous is one of those colors that looks very different in different lighting. Like, I’ll go into the bathroom, and it’ll be peachy pink, but it’s mauve-rose in full sun. I think it’s really beautiful, and it’s affordable, too — about $8 a bottle.

Oh! — and another bonus of the Miracle Gels is that they dry relatively quickly. You don’t have to sit there for 45 minutes while you wait for your nails to dry. For two coats and the top coat, I’d give them 20 minutes to completely dry down.

It’s good stuff!

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

Pondering Pastel Polish and Painting Nails After Coffee: Talk to Me!

March 21st, 2019 by Karen 34 Comments

sally hansen mega strength boss gloss swatch — This is the *good* hand.

Unsolicited life tip #546: If you’re going to paint your own nails, DoNt dO iT rIgHT aFeTer yOUvE haD A MaSsIVe AmOUNt oF CoFfeE. ☕☕☕☕☕ Like, if the cup was as big as your head, refrain! — because sure, one hand may turn out OK, but the other one? Wonky-wonk.

I did it the other day, LOL! I was telling my friend Tatiana about it in the comments like, “Yeah…I just painted my nails high on coffee.” My left hand looked great because I’m right-handed, but my right hand? Whole ‘nother story.

That pic at the top are the good nails, HA HA HA! On the other hand, the middle nail is all patchy, and there’s a big lump in it.

I don’t even know how it got there. 🙄

Trust me — you don’t wanna see the other hand!

But you know, I was just happy to have my nails painted, because, believe it or not, once upon a time, I was the person who always had her nails and her toes done. If I were going out, I wouldn’t have dared to go without having my toes painted. Bare toenails used to be MORTIFYING for me, but time flies, life happens, things change… You pop out a kid, things happen. Now I’m overjoyed whenever I actually sit down and paint my nails, so I was absolutely thrilled (despite the wonky right hand) to have my nails did.

sally hansen mega strength shades — From the front to back: Top Coat, Boss Gloss, Her-Oine, She-Ro and Strengthener

The shade I’m wearing here is called Boss Gloss, from Sally Hansen’s new Mega Strength line. Side note: Did you know that Sally Hansen was actually a real person?! For the longest time, I just thought it was a name someone made up, but no. She was a businesswoman and led a *very* colorful life.

Anywho, nails… I did two coats of Boss Gloss with layers of the Mega Strength Base Coat and Top Coat.

About that, there are three Mega Strength colors on my desk right now — Boss Gloss, Her-Oine and She-Ro.

sally hansen she ro — Sally Hansen Mega Strength in She-Ro, along with the Mega Strength base and top coat

I wore She-Ro last week, and I loved the wear time (more on that in a sec), but the color didn’t really do anything for my soul (because that’s important). It’s a mid-toned purplish mauve… I like it just fine, but generally speaking, if I’m gonna wear purple on my nails, I prefer either an Easter-egg pastel purple, or something super intensely bold.

There’s no in-between when it comes to purples with me. Are you like that too with any colors?

Back to She-Ro again — the wear time was awesome! I had it on for a full seven days, during which time I only saw the smallest of chips at the tips until the evening of the seventh day…

Wow, that sounded like the start of a very foreboding tale! 😨

And so it began… She was in the shower washing her hair when the edge of the polish at the base of one of her nails kept lifting up and catching on her wet hair…

GIRL, it was all downhill from there. I stood there under the water for gosh knows how long, peeling my nails off. (YOU KNOW YOU DO IT, TOO.)

sally hansen mega strength boss gloss her oine she ro — $5.99 each

Anyway, I’ve got those three colors on my mind right now, and if Boss Gloss and Her-Oine do well, then I’m gonna go back to get some more colors, because they also have some dark colors that look really pretty.

Other things nail polish related… I painted the Boss Gloss mani in the morning before going to my HIIT class later that night, which I think is one of the biggest tests for nails. If a polish can survive a workout with weights, that nail polish is LEGIT. I walked into the class that night thinking, “Aw, man, I just did my nails,” because, on any given day, there are barbells, dumbbells or kettle bells (ALL THE BELLS) involved, and handling weights will chip your nails quicker than you can say, “No way, lady, Keanu is MY BOYFRIEND.”

That evening, we used sandbags, which are the worst for chipping. We did this funky move called “the sandbag clean and press,” where you take a heavy sandbag, flip it over, and do a squat. So now I’m bruised all up and down my arms.

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