The following is an un-redacted transcript of the NARS Notable Neutrals Club meeting held on Jan. 12, 2012, in Novato, Calif., as transcribed by Tabs the Cat.
Order, people! Order! Is this thing on…?
Good evening, everyone. Tonight’s meeting of the NARS Notable Neutrals Club is called in session. I know everybody’s excited about the spring collection, but let’s settle down. If we don’t start the meeting soon, you won’t get home in time to watch the Jersey Shore — no judgement! Seriously though, quiet down.
Okay, our first order of business. I’d like to nominate a new member to the club, NARS Lhasa Eyeshadow. She’s a single, $24, and I propose that we waive public comments and vote to make her membership official effective tomorrow, January 13, when she debuts along with the rest of the spring collection.
Now, I can hear some of you grumbling back there… I’ve heard the charges that the club has become too exclusive to newcomers — Cyprus, I’m talking to you — but may I remind you that we are not mean girls. All of us were at one time new neutrals ourselves, waiting to be discovered and loved. Lhasa deserves a chance.
A little bit about our prospective new member. She’s a shimmery lavender gray, a little smoky and sassier than usual for a spring shade, but she comes to us with a long list of references from fans who love wearable taupes. Of course, we performed the requisite background check per club rules. As you know, the guidelines specify that new members must have a soft texture, lots of pigment and a wear time like whoa! She passed on all counts with flying colors.
I suspect that some members may feel that Lhasa is too cool for warmer toned fans. While that may be true, I still think she would make a great addition to the club.
Alright, let’s put it to a vote. All in favor of granting Lhasa membership into the NARS Notable Neutrals Club, raise your hand — er, lids.
One, two, three, four…