
Unsolicited life tip #546: If you’re going to paint your own nails, DoNt dO iT rIgHT aFeTer yOUvE haD A MaSsIVe AmOUNt oF CoFfeE. ☕☕☕☕☕ Like, if the cup was as big as your head, refrain! — because sure, one hand may turn out OK, but the other one? Wonky-wonk.
I did it the other day, LOL! I was telling my friend Tatiana about it in the comments like, “Yeah…I just painted my nails high on coffee.” My left hand looked great because I’m right-handed, but my right hand? Whole ‘nother story.
That pic at the top are the good nails, HA HA HA! On the other hand, the middle nail is all patchy, and there’s a big lump in it.
I don’t even know how it got there. 🙄

But you know, I was just happy to have my nails painted, because, believe it or not, once upon a time, I was the person who always had her nails and her toes done. If I were going out, I wouldn’t have dared to go without having my toes painted. Bare toenails used to be MORTIFYING for me, but time flies, life happens, things change… You pop out a kid, things happen. Now I’m overjoyed whenever I actually sit down and paint my nails, so I was absolutely thrilled (despite the wonky right hand) to have my nails did.

The shade I’m wearing here is called Boss Gloss, from Sally Hansen’s new Mega Strength line. Side note: Did you know that Sally Hansen was actually a real person?! For the longest time, I just thought it was a name someone made up, but no. She was a businesswoman and led a *very* colorful life.
Anywho, nails… I did two coats of Boss Gloss with layers of the Mega Strength Base Coat and Top Coat.
About that, there are three Mega Strength colors on my desk right now — Boss Gloss, Her-Oine and She-Ro.

I wore She-Ro last week, and I loved the wear time (more on that in a sec), but the color didn’t really do anything for my soul (because that’s important). It’s a mid-toned purplish mauve… I like it just fine, but generally speaking, if I’m gonna wear purple on my nails, I prefer either an Easter-egg pastel purple, or something super intensely bold.
There’s no in-between when it comes to purples with me. Are you like that too with any colors?
Back to She-Ro again — the wear time was awesome! I had it on for a full seven days, during which time I only saw the smallest of chips at the tips until the evening of the seventh day…
Wow, that sounded like the start of a very foreboding tale! 😨
And so it began… She was in the shower washing her hair when the edge of the polish at the base of one of her nails kept lifting up and catching on her wet hair…
GIRL, it was all downhill from there. I stood there under the water for gosh knows how long, peeling my nails off. (YOU KNOW YOU DO IT, TOO.)

Anyway, I’ve got those three colors on my mind right now, and if Boss Gloss and Her-Oine do well, then I’m gonna go back to get some more colors, because they also have some dark colors that look really pretty.
Other things nail polish related… I painted the Boss Gloss mani in the morning before going to my HIIT class later that night, which I think is one of the biggest tests for nails. If a polish can survive a workout with weights, that nail polish is LEGIT. I walked into the class that night thinking, “Aw, man, I just did my nails,” because, on any given day, there are barbells, dumbbells or kettle bells (ALL THE BELLS) involved, and handling weights will chip your nails quicker than you can say, “No way, lady, Keanu is MY BOYFRIEND.”
That evening, we used sandbags, which are the worst for chipping. We did this funky move called “the sandbag clean and press,” where you take a heavy sandbag, flip it over, and do a squat. So now I’m bruised all up and down my arms.
I did three rounds of 15 reps, and the Boss Gloss mani actually survived. So yeah! Mega Strength just might be mega strong.
Long story short: No more coffee ☕ for this girl before manis and pedis (unless someone else is doing them).
So talk to me about polish. Are you in the midst of any particular phase? Long nails? Short nails? Pastels? (I FEEL YA!) Do you prefer to get your nails done at a salon, or do you do them yourself? — and if you do do (ha ha) them yourself, have you ever painted them after a bucket of coffee?! LOL! Talk to me.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
You must be really strong after taking those exercise classes, Karen! Good for you! My nails are getting a little longer than normal which means they are chipping a lot no matter what kind of polish I wear so I think I will cut them this weekend. I am getting into spring colors like pinks, purples, and corals, and saying goodbye to deep reds, burgundys, and greys. I pretty much always do them at home, about once a year I get a pedicure.
Hi Rachel,
I haven’t worn coral in a minute! I just found a really pretty one from the Sally Hansen Miracle Gel Line called Apollo You Anywhere (somebody likes puns, ha ha). Should be pretty on the toes!
And re: exercise class. HIIT is sooo hard but the beauty of it is you learn how to push yourself. When I started three years ago I would’ve never been able to do the sandbag move that I tried. It takes a while but it’s worth it, especially when you can do practical things on your own like putting your carry on luggage in the overhead bin without anybody else’s help!
My left hand polish is never as good as my right hand, whether I’ve had coffee or not lol! Love the Boss Gloss!
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Ha ha! One trick to try is painting the nails with your non-dominant hand first!
I’m with sydnee – my right hand never looks as good as my left but, since I only wear sheer on my nails, it’s pretty hard to tell. 🙂 I hear you on the polish peeling. I had a nail printed (on an actual printer made for nails) and it used gel curing. It was great for a week and then started to peel at the cuticle and catch in even my dry hair. So I started to peel. It’s grown out now but I had a nice red spot in the center of my nail where I’d peeled up half my nail with the polish. Not my most clever moment. PS Those sandbag squats sound brutal – I’d be a giant bruise too!
Girlfriend, you can’t talk about printed nails without sharing the print! What was the design?
Oh, I’m sorry! It was an abstract black white and red rose design. I was at the Cosmoprof Hong Kong show and there were so many to choose from that I just picked what immediately caught my eye. With the pro machines, you can actually upload your own art. So, pics of your kids or pets or whatever. 🙂 The one I demo’d was more of a “home” version about half the size of a toaster. It’s a lot of steps and pretty finicky but the girl doing it was a pro – and I think anyone could be with some practice. I want to say it was about 5 minutes per nail because of the layers and the curing. It was really, really cool though!
Wow, fancy! So I could have Ryan Gosling AND Keanu nails if I wanted to?!
I’m proud of you for doing something other than a nude on your nails!
You could absolutely. But I think you’d need to have at least 5 Tabs poses mixed in because we don’t want him getting ugly with RyGos or Keanu. HAHA!
I know! Thank you! But I’m that dummy who walks around and tries everything. I thought my poor coworker would die when I used a micro needle roller on my forearm. She was convinced I was going to get hepatitis and it never even occurred to me until I saw the horrified expression on her face. 🙂
I always try pastels ’cause I love the way they look in the bottle. When I apply them they are always streaky, patchy, too thick…. If I’m gonna wear a pastel I have to get my talented manicurist to do it. Even then, I’m never happy with it for very long. I’m totally a red nail polish girl. I never regret having red nails any time of year. My favorite is Morgan Taylor Tigress Knows Best. It’s the purrfect cherry red.
That whole shower nail polish situation cracked me up. I can totally relate.
Hi Lily,
I’m not really a red nail polish girl but I keep trying to be. I love that red nails (especially short ones) are so classic and timeless! Maybe I just need to find the right red?!
I think you might like Tenoverten Ludlow. It’s a warmer bright red.
I don´t drink coffee, so the answer to that would be no, but I have done them after too little sleep and too much black tea to make up for that and yeah, I can imagine how your right hand looks…
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It’s crazy, LOL!
I’ve been so busy this winter that I’ve had mainly unpolished nails. I can’t even believe I’m saying that right now. Even if I can’t get in somewhere for a mani I’ll paint them myself usually.
But it’s bumming me out to not having anything on them.
If my toes and nails are done, I feel so much more put together. Like I can go out in yoga pants and lip gloss and be fine about my appearance if my claws are on point.
I had a mani a couple weeks ago and he did a square shape–more square than I usually do–I ten toward a squoval. Anyway, I think the square shape is helping me grow them longer.
I usually get a manicure when I get a pedicure, which is monthly in the sandal months–more like every other month in the winter. So in between times I paint my fingernails.
I prefer to get them done at a salon because the attention to the cuticle really makes a difference in the health of my nails.
Like you, I don’t recommend getting them done after coffee. But, I do a pretty good job after I’ve had say, half a glass of wine. That usually slows my heart rate and steadies my paws.
Right now I’ve got an Orly Ridge Filler as a polish. I’ve been using it for years as like a milky nude color. Love it.
If I’m not using the ridge filler, I love blues and greens and a perfect pink. I’ve got one that’s a perfect pink pastel by CND Vinylux. I think it’s called cake pop.
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Ya know, I’ve never painted my nails after having a glass or two of wine! MUST TRY SOON!
Maybe it’s my OCD but I LOOOOOVE peeling my nail polish off (after a good week’s worth of wear, of course). Sometimes the really good quality ones just wear around the edges and chip but aren’t actually easy to take off and they’re not nearly as satisfying to pick off! haha
So I might actually pick up this line of polishes….a seven day hard-use polish and then peel off bonus at the end! I’m sold!
LOL, Christine! Be sure to get the Mega Strength base and top coat, too! I have a feeling they help with the peeling.
Since retirement I get a French Dip powder . Like I’m ready for anything : dinner, movies , shore .
Plus it matches any outfit .
I did red for Christmas 🎄 and it held up well !
Tenoverten has a really pretty blue-grey shade called Austin. That was my last super successful mani. They also have some adorable pink pastels! I can get the brand at Target where I live. I was definitely eyeing the Sally Hansen, though. Glad you featured it! Have def been drawn to pinks and neutrals lately too!
I just googled that shade and it’s so pretty! I bet it would be great on toes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them at my Target but I’ll have to check next time I go.
Ooh yes on toes! I will do that when it gets above 50 degrees here!!
Short nails now. Which I don’t mind. What I can’t seem to get rid of are the dry, cracking, peeling cuticles. I’ve gone through at least two cuticle oil pens, plus CND Solar Oil and they’re still dry as heck.
I’m looking for a ballet-ish pink with some micro shimmer or holo, but no flakes or chunky glitter. I tend to wear indy brand polishes because they seem to last longer on my nails. Well at least longer than the 24 to 48 hours I get with other brands.
Get a pair of stretchy, terry, tennis wrist sweatbands. Get the extra long ones and wear them when you do cleans. It helps reduce the bruising closer to your hand where your arm is more bone. While I like doing cleans, I always hate the bruises. I once popped myself in the mouth doing one with a barbell. Sigh. I swear I’m too uncoordinated to lift weights or paint my nails nicely.
I have some bruising on my forearm but they’re not as bad as the ones on my biceps. I’m going to practice again next time I’m in class and have some extra time! The timing is a little tricky!
Have you ever tried putting lip balm on your cuticles? It sounds crazy but in the past it’s worked for me.
I’m feeling I’d like white nails right now – just have to stop biting them first…
I like white nails too! I like mine on short nails, and with a cream finish.
Nails are my favorite beauty topic! love the pastel on you- it really pops! I haven’t worn pastels in a bit. but I am inspired by a negative space nail art + gold accent photo I found online. I may break out my pastels to try it. Lately I have been wearing bold and muted pinks, and neutrals with a rose gold glitter or metallic thrown in from time to time. I tried that Smith and Cult Ceremony of Secrets and it is pure love! thanks for the swatch. at the moment I cut my nails very short and am sporting Chanel Charivari. I love that smoked out eggplant brown. PS always paint my own unless I am having nail art done with my daughter at the salon before a shorts and sandals type vacay.
Oh god, sandbag exercises.
My nails are a mess because of how much of a mess the last week has been. I think my clippers and nail file are upstairs, but you know, stairs are hard with a broken foot LOL. My cuticles are dry af and angry because Lotion + crutches don’t mix.
My friend Kitty said she would come over and paint my toenails since they stick out of my cast, that’s being a good friend.
My husband hates pink nail polish but he has a good enough reason for it that I don’t do it – he says it’s the color they put on people for their funerals, which to me means it reminds him of his mom’s funeral, so I don’t do it.
That IS being a good friend. And I had no idea about pink being the one they use for funerals. Hmmm… Note to self. Leave specific instructions for the powers-that-be to paint my toe nails either blue or green or purple when it’s time for me to enter my pyramid!
omg when i read the part about your hair catching under the nail polish in the shower my whole body shivered…i HATE that feeling haha i’m currently experiencing nail polish anxiety as i decide what to have on my nails for my elopement in just over a month! classic red? dramatic burgundy? nude? soft pink? aagghhhhh…
Hi Dani,
Congrats on your upcoming wedding! You have to let us all know here what nail polish you go with. I wish I could remember my wedding nail polish… It was a pale bridal OPI one, but I can’t recall the shade. Le sigh! Are you wearing a traditional white dress? And what’s your plan for makeup?
Thanks Karen! I will most certainly report back with what I decide on. I am sticking with a white fit-n-flare dress but I’m wearing white booties to accommodate the rugged Ireland cliffside! Makeup and hair will be all me, I’m aiming for suuuuper simple, glowy face with a little smudged brown liner, LOTS of mascara and a Clarins my-lips-but-better balm! 🙂
I do love a classic pale bridal nail color too. My skin tone is similar to yours and I think those paler colors can look so striking on our hands! Oh the choices!
For the most part I always attempted to keep them in “okay-ish” condition but I’ve only really been maintaining them for about 6 months (basically since starting to date my wonderful bf). I keep them short, square tipped, and only I do them (I have mild phobia of nails salons. Germs.) since keeping up with cuticle removal once a week and a light pink jelly color for my hands and whatever I feel like for the toes, I feel much more put together and my bf always compliments them (which is lovely when effort like that goes noticed). I just exchanged for Chanel Emblematique and I’m so excited to put it on my toes next week. I hope I love it!
Red nails have been my signature for the last few years, but I do dabble in pastels for springtime. My all time favourite polish is OPI Cinnamon Sweet which is discontinued & I hoard all my remaining bottles even when they go gloopy because I can’t part with it. Despite being right handed, it is always my right hand that looks the best although I am almost ambidextrous & my right arm has had problems in the past year. I definitely have painted my nails after too much caffeine & been shaky but it takes a lot of coffee for me to get to that point so it is rare.