Raul. You @sshole. You just don’t get it, do you? This isn’t working out.
I mean, what else is there to say? I’ve been putting up with your nonsense for six years. The taunting in the mirror every morning — “Ooh, look at me!” — the following me to work.
I kept telling myself, “Come on, Karen, he’s just a bald spot in the arch of your left eyebrow. Give him another chance.”
But that’s just it. You’re always IN MY FACE!
And I’m sick of it.
You need to move on. Go find someone else’s eyebrows to torment.
I don’t want to see you anymore when I look in the mirror. I don’t want to see that bald spot there in my left brow.
Just leave. I’ve taken care of everything. You won’t even have to lift a brow.
I’ve actually been seeing someone new…Urban Decay’s recently revamped $29 Brow Box (available in two shades, Brown Sugar and Honey Pot), and he takes care of my brows.
He’s a two-tiered box containing everything I need to fill in sparse spots like you and fatten skinny brows — two powder shadows (which can be mixed to customize a color); a soft, colorless wax to herd stray hairs and set them in place; as well as two brushes and a tiny tweezers.
To relax, which I need because of you, I’ve been wearing Brown Sugar in my brows on casual days. With the powders, brows don’t look quite as crisp as they do with brow pencils, and UD’s wax only has light hold, so my brows don’t look lacquered into place, but that works for me. It’s comfy, like a broken-in white t-shirt — soft, casual and totally laid-back.
Raul, just stop. I know you’re not listening anymore. I can see you peeking through the powder/wax combo after five or six hours into my day.
You are one stubborn brow bald spot… I’ll give you that.
But you should know that the Brow Box also comes with tools, which are great for on-the-go touch-ups. Being tiny, they aren’t the best brushes for my mornings, but I’ll just use my regular-sized brushes for that.
Let’s be classy about this, Raul, and keep it amicable. None of that, “I’ll be back business, mwhahaha!” It’s been real.
PRICE: $29
AVAILABILITY: Coming soon to Urban Decay counters and available now at urbandecay.com
MAKEUP AND BEAUTY BLOG RATING: B
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
Agata says
July 11th, 2013 at 5:01 pmYou’re too funny Karen. I hope Raul leaves you alone and never comes back, lol. I ordered my first Revolution lipstick today 🙂
P.S.
I hope you’re feeling better today.xoxo.
Karen says
July 11th, 2013 at 5:20 pmThank you, Agata. I’m feeling a little better. 🙂 I got a pedicure today during my lunch hour and it did wonders for my spirit.
What lipstick did you choose?
Agata says
July 12th, 2013 at 3:15 amOhh nice, what color did you pick for your pedicure?
I got Naked lipstick. I hope it will good on me!
Ashley says
July 11th, 2013 at 5:55 pmI think Raul has a sibling, because I have a spot in my left brow too! In fact, my whole left brow is just kind of off. I blame going at it with tweezers in a poorly lit room when I was fourteen. Now I use the E.L.F brow set, and for $3 dollars I love it!
I’m glad to see you’re in better spirits today Karen! I hope things continue to get better for you 🙂
Alison M says
July 11th, 2013 at 6:37 pmRaul clearly needs a run-in with Tarte Amazonian Clay Brow Pencil. He’ll never know what hit him and the effects will keep him down for the count!
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Audrey C. says
July 11th, 2013 at 6:59 pmKaren, you’re hilarious! I have a total first-world problem when it comes to my brows — they’re naturally so thick and long that everyone thinks I’ve drawn them on (and overdrawn them) when really I haven’t even touched them!
hanna says
July 11th, 2013 at 7:08 pmYour posts are so funny Karen. I have a similar eyebrow problem and I HATE it.
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Olivia says
July 11th, 2013 at 8:05 pmLooks awesome! I still have plenty of my old one, though…but the repackage is nice!
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Lancy says
July 11th, 2013 at 9:29 pmhahahah…I had fun reading this.. You have an amazing writing style Karen 🙂 And honey pot is a beautiful natural shade.
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Gowthami says
July 11th, 2013 at 10:55 pmthe brow box is cute and osm.. 🙂
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Dollie says
July 12th, 2013 at 12:27 amLol! Loved the way you’ve written this post. You really have a great writing style.
Betsy Clark says
July 12th, 2013 at 10:57 amNothing good EVER came from anyone or anything named Raul. Just sayin’.
Kim says
July 12th, 2013 at 11:56 amRaul’s twin has been living in my right brow for decades. I thought Aqua Brow was going to work for me but it’s time consuming to use and I never seem to get it right (I’m sure it’s me and not the product). Anyway, my Clinique pencil is still my best option. But I’m always on the lookout! 🙂
Danielle says
July 12th, 2013 at 12:38 pmKaren, this post is hilarious! I also have a bald spot in each eyebrow & it drives me CRAZY! I haven’t been reaching for brow powders lately, but Honey Pot looks like something I might be interested in.
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Erica says
July 13th, 2013 at 8:49 pmRaul has a cousin in NYC named Kent. Kent was born when I was 3. I was playing Superman leaping off “buildings in a single bound” (aka my bed) and hit my head on the floor, scarring my left eyebrow and leaving a bald spot for the past 40+ years. Luckily I didn’t lose my eye or crack my skull, but I acquired Kent. I’ve used everything on my brows including hair gel. I’m experimenting with Sleek’s brow kit but seriously considering this.