- What possessed me to do this!? Why did I ever think that bangs would be a good idea? I’m never, EVER doing this ever again. (Side note: If I had a dime for every time I said that during this process I’d be a rich woman, LOL!)
- What the hell!? My leg hair, the hair on my big toe, my mustache, even MY CHIN — why does the hair grow so fast everywhere else EXCEPT for where I actually want it to grow??
- I should invest in a company that makes bobby pins, seeing as how I’m probably keeping the entire bobby pin industry in business. I walk around leaving a trail of bobby pins in my wake! I find them in the shower, the corners, the kitchen counter, my nightstand, and I may or may not have found a bunch around my feet in HIIT class at the gym.
I also may or may not have seriously considered picking one of them up and using it to put my bangs back.
- This freakin’ cowlick! How many cans of super extra hold hairspray will this take!?
- If I put on this cray-cray pair of false lashes, it’ll distract people from looking at my cowlick. Yeah, that seems perfectly logical…
- Good grief. I’ve only been growing out these bangs for five days, but it feels like FIVE YEARS.
- I feel like a shaggy sheep dog…
- I am starting to feel personally offended by my baby hairs, because they absolutely refuse to listen to me. RUDE.
- What should I do today to get these out of my face? Braid them? Twist them? Slick them back? Wear a headband? A hat? F*ck it. Maybe I’ll just wear that itchy blue wig I got from Party City, since that would be easier than dealing with these bangs.
- I’m never, ever, EVER getting bangs ever again.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,