Say “hello” to the destroyer of every single decent makeup bag I’ve ever owned, and the poltergeist that haunts the inner pocket of my current mom purse, which, once upon a time, housed six pristine lipstick tubes and an asthma inhaler.
*waves hi* 👋
Since this makeup pencil sharpener exploded, everything — and I mean everything — all of the lipsticks, the inhaler and the lining of that inner pocket — is now smeared with chunks of black eyeliner, glitter and nude lip crayon, and everything else I ever sharpened in this sharpener since the dawn of time.
This particular makeup pencil sharpener happens to be from Make Up For Ever, but ya know…it doesn’t appear to matter what brand they are, because if I’m carrying around a makeup sharpener, rest assured! — it’ll explode in my purse.
You might think that after all the years pencil sharpeners have existed, some intrepid makeup-loving inventor out there would have discovered a way to improve upon the seemingly simple technology, or at least figured out a way to keep sharpeners from opening unexpectedly in your makeup bag.
Why, makeup gods, why!? Why hasn’t someone built a better mousetrap?
Oh, sure, I’ve tried workarounds — wrapping them with rubber bands, placing them in a clear plastic bag BEFORE sticking that bag into my makeup bag. Inevitably, however, those little bits of liner and crayon end up on everything and everywhere.
I saw in one of her videos that Sam from Pixiwoo keeps her Urban Decay sharpener (the purple one, which I have, and which is very good, but it still opens…) in the box it came in to prevent it from bursting open, which is GENIUS. But even she said the method isn’t foolproof, because hers still opens.
Shoot, even while I’ve been sitting here typing at my desk with my pencil sharpener beside me, little pencil shavings have fallen out over the last few minutes.
Oh, and does anybody actually clean these things? They always get so dirty, but even when I try to clean the brown or black eyeliner bits from the blade before, say, sharpening a pink lip liner, I still get dark bits of liner on everything.
The misery of makeup pencil sharpeners is one reason I’m all about “the twist-up life” these days… You know why I love the Chanel Stylo Yeuxs so much? Yup, because I don’t ever have to sharpen the tip with a sharpener!
I need to know if anyone out there has ever found the mother of all makeup pencil sharpeners, because if you have, PLEASE do us all a solid and let us know.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,