As someone without steady employment, and not a lot of other responsibilities, I often find myself in bed well past noon on a weekday. I don’t do this on purpose, and it’s not even because I want to be there. But while texting my boyfriend (from our bed) one late morning, I found myself saying, “I don’t want to get up, because my problems are out there.”
Simple reasoning, right?
But I can’t avoid my problems forever. I have to get up. I have to eat. I have to continue to look for a job. I have to consolidate my loans and make doctors appointments.
For most of my adult life, I have dealt with chronic depression and anxiety. I’ve used many methods to combat these things, but lately, I’ve found that getting myself into a routine has been one of the best things for me. The main part of my routine that has been the most enjoyable and given me the best feeling?
Doing my makeup and/or pampering myself.
It’s common knowledge that you feel good when you take care of yourself. But for a lot of people, and for many women, it’s often seen as vain and unnecessary to do our makeup, or to spend a lot of time on ourselves. At the same time, we’re being told that if we don’t look a certain way, we’re not trying hard enough. If we look tired, or pale, or sick, then there is something wrong with us. If we don’t smile at every stranger that passes us, we are mean, unfriendly, cold. This was something I ran into often when I worked retail, and a reason I got into makeup in the first place. I figured if people were going to think I was awful, I might as well look fabulous while they did it, right?
After I quit that job and went to graduate school, I stopped wearing makeup as much, mainly because I didn’t have the time. I reserved it for special occasions only. Then I stopped wearing it because I felt tired, my skin was awful, I didn’t want to be noticed. A million and one reasons to not take care of myself hung over my head every day.
The past few weeks, while I’ve been writing and reviewing for you guys, I’ve been looking forward to getting up and doing my makeup. I’ve been excited about taking care of my skin, of my body, and of my mind. I haven’t felt that in a very long time. Because of these changes in my routine, my other habits have changed as well. Instead of not eating most of the day, I actually got up all of last week, ate breakfast every day, drank a cup of coffee, and did my makeup. I was proud of myself for actually finishing a quart of milk without it spoiling in the fridge!
These changes might not feel that significant, but to me, they’re monumental. Even if I’m just going to Starbucks to work on some writing, I try to make sure I put on some lipstick or a little blush. These things make me feel a little more put together, and push the worrisome thoughts out of my head for the day.
My beauty routine and the “rituals” that I find myself performing every day (and night) are often what I find get me going at the beginning of the day and calm me down at the end of it. While there’s nothing more enthralling than putting on my makeup and trying a new look, nothing is as calming as taking off all that work at the end of the day, and slathering my bare face in my favorite moisturizer.
I’m so glad that I’ve been able to rekindle my love affair with makeup and that I’ve been able to write about it along the way. Even if I don’t have life entirely planned out right now, I’m at least going to look/feel great while I try to figure it out. 😉