Neutrogena

A few times… Alright, alright, alright, more than a few times, I’ve stared at the shelf in my bathroom where I keep all of ‘ze body lotions and thought to myself, “K, there’s only so much skin real estate on your person, so you don’t really need another bottle of lotion.” Then I come to my senses and realize that I totally do. Ha ha ha!

I’ve had dry shins for 43 years (had to stop there for a second to remember my age, OY VEY), so it’s not like I’m never NOT going to need to moisturize… It’s exactly like my glam granny always says, “Boys come and go, but dry skin is forever.” (OK, she really didn’t say that, but I bet she would!)

Anyway, Neutrogena launched a new line of pretty good gel cream body lotions, but first…what the heck is a gel cream?

Gel creams are water-based moisturizers with a formula sort of halfway between a watery lotion and a thick cream. Most of the time, they’re slippery, jiggly and translucent, and their main selling point is how quickly they absorb into your skin. You won’t have to spend forever and day working them in. They’re also usually packed with humectants, which are capable of holding many times their own weight in water, like hyaluronic acid in the case of the Hydro Boost line, and silicone, for that signature slippery feeling.

Hydro Boost Body Gel Cream ($8.99)

Hydro Boost Body Gel Cream comes with a pump in a scented and a fragrance-free version that both quench thirsty heels and shins equally well (I swear, my legs go “Ahhh!” when I put it on), but I’m all about the scented one, which smells like lemons and freshly folded warm laundry to me. If you’ve worn any of the CLEAN fragrances, you’ll love it, as will anyone who smells you, and I have proof!

The other night after I showered and lotion-ed, I walked downstairs and plopped next to El Hub on the couch to watch the season finale of American Ninja Warrior. As he was falling asleep (at 8 p.m., ha ha ha! He works for a finance company and gets up before the chickens, so it’s a miracle whenever he stays up past 7:30), he sleep-mumbled, “You smell really good.”

This is a moisturizing CHAMP! My skin is dry, dry, dry, and it feels happy, happy, happy when I use it. It should be sufficient for fall and winters here in the Bay Area, and I bet it would even handle more extreme weather. #TeamLizard

❤️❤️❤️❤️ 4 out of 5 hearts.

Ingredients, original scent:
Water, Glycerin, Isopropyl Palmitate, Petrolatum, Dimethicone, Cetyl Alcohol, Phenoxyethanol, Sodium Polyacrylate, Cetearyl Olivate, Caprylyl Glycol, Ethylhexylglycerin, Sorbitan Olivate, Carbomer, Sodium Hyaluronate, Sodium Hydroxide

Ingredients, fragrance-free version:
Water, Glycerin, Isopropyl Palmitate, Petrolatum, Dimethicone, Cetyl Alcohol, Phenoxyethanol, Sodium Polyacrylate, Cetearyl Olivate, Caprylyl Glycol, Ethylhexylglycerin, Sorbitan Olivate, Fragrance, Carbomer, Sodium Hyaluronate, Sodium Hydroxide, Blue 1

Hydro Boost Whipped Body Balm ($5.99)

Body balms are usually the big guns of the moisturizing world, but this one doesn’t work anyway near as well as the Body Gel Cream does for me.

Weird, I know!

It’s sightly thicker and heavier than the Gel Cream, which I thought would mean more moisture, but the Body Balm never completely sinks into my skin… It just sits on top like a layer of frosting. I’m not the biggest fan, but if you like a thick, silicone-y layer (and I know some people do), it’s worth a try.

❤️❤️ 2 out of 5 hearts.

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If you’ve ever donned a smoky eye to go get Baked Cheetos at 10 in the morning, or if you’ve ever “needed” to bust out three tubes of mascara to simply continue living your life, you already know that whatever makeup goes on, must come off, and that’s when micellar cleansers like these two new ones from Neutrogena are handy.

For the uninitiated, micellar cleansers are a type of liquid makeup remover comprised of tiny balls of cleansing oil molecules suspended in soft water, and they’re designed to remove makeup, grit, grime — basically everything, even the hard-to-remove stuff like waterproof mascara. Also key: they work without heavy scrubbing, so they’re gentle.

Neutrogena Deep Clean Purifying Micellar Cleansing Towelettes ($6.99) and Micellar Cleansing Water ($11.99)

Neutrogena’s micellar cleansers work quickly and well. I can completely remove a full face of makeup with one swipe, and I’m talking about a look with all teh things — multiple layers of mascara, highlighter, bronzer, foundation, concealer — and they don’t irritate my skin or my eyes.

They’re so much better than the last drugstore micellar wipes I tried (*ahem* Garnier).

“Neutrogena Deep Clean Purifying Micellar Cleansing Towelettes effectively remove makeup while gently cleansing and purifying skin. These gentle, ultra-soft face wipes provide a deep clean by targeting 100% of impurities, leaving skin feeling soft and refreshed. The pre-moistened cleansing towelettes purify and revitalize skin. The formula is powered by Triple Micellar Technology which combines three gentle cleansers that work together to help remove even the toughest makeup, effectively cleanse, and purify skin without being harsh. Neutrogena Deep Clean Purifying Micellar Cleansing Towelettes require no rinsing and are non-comedogenic and oil- and alcohol-free.”

— neutrogena.com

Although…I’d still exercise caution if you’re thinking about removing the eyeliner on your water line with one of the wipes because IMO they’re kinda scratchy for such a delicate area. Instead, I soak a soft cotton pad (I highly recommend the ones from Shiseido) with the Micellar Water, which removes my eye makeup just as well (even waterproof mascara, liquid and gel liners, and other long-lasting stuff).

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