Essie’s new Naughty Nautical summer collection seems about as naughty to me as sipping a Shirley Temple while wearing flannel pajamas and watching a Murder She Wrote marathon.
In other words, not very naughty.
But that hasn’t stopped me from liking it.
I guess I just expected something…naughtier. Where I expected 50 Shades of Grey, these colors seem more like party shades to me, and no, I don’t mean naughty party. I’m thinking more along the lines of Pier 1 Imports and backyard barbecues in July.
Not that I’m complaining (at all), because I frickin’ love Pier 1! — and I’m digging this new limited edition six-piece summer collection, too.
It’s like the outdoor patio section at a Pier 1 exploded on a beauty shelf, and I mean that in the best possible way.
Every year around this time, Pier 1 stores go bat sh*t cray with color — corals, purples, greens, blues and teals — the same fiesta family of colors I’m seeing here.
Looking at these colors on my nails, I feel like I should be barefoot at a big barbecue with a margarita in my hand while I wait for my veggie hot dog to cook on the grill.
The six shades contain varying amounts of shimmer (from none to some), with two of them, the quieter pastels, balancing out the brighter colors.
Like a redder version of Chanel Lilis with silver shimmer, Sunday Funday almost looks like a cream from a few feet away, but then when I see it up close in full sunlight, BAM! — shimmer.
After Essie weaned itself off of Ballet Slippers, they went off the hook with greens and teals (see: Where’s My Chauffer).
Naughty Nautical is another shade in that vein — like floating around in warm emerald waters — and I think it gets the shimmer just right.
The More The Merrier
The shade you don’t expect to love, but after a day or so with it on your nails you’re like, “YES!”
This chameleon has some of that 1970s vibe, with its hint of baby food yellowish green. It’s the only cream/non-shimmery shade in the collection, and it appears to change colors depending on the light. Outdoors in full sunlight, it’s all avocado, all the time, but when I take it inside into artificial lighting, I see more of a mossy green.
This one’s the unexpected star of the collection in my book.
The Girls Are Out
The name sounds like an article headline on TMZ! All I can think of right now are accidental boob sightings on the red carpet…
Another one of the stronger shimmers in the collection. Bright, sparkly, and I love the way it looks on my toes.
Full Steam Ahead
A Chanel-esque shade with secret shimmer. In this high-intensity collection, this one’s like three deep breaths filled with calming energy…
Not the most unique color out there, but the glitter gives it a summery kick.
Rock the Boat
I’d love to wear this shimmery baby blue on my toes to a wedding.
Mind you, it looks a tad streaky in this pic, but I think that’s due to the flash I used. In real life, it’s quite smooth.
AVAILABILITY: Available now at Essie counters and also online
MAKEUP AND BEAUTY BLOG RATING: A
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,