Dear Tabby is written by Tabs the Cat, commonly regarded as “the world’s first plus-size kitty supermodel.” Founded in mid 2012, it has quickly become the most widely syndicated cat advice column on earth — known for its fresh, feline perspective on lifestyle, fashion and style issues affecting cats and humans.
The naked truth
DEAR TABBY: HALP! My roommate Harold has a BIG problem with clothes — well, collars, specifically.
See, he just won’t wear them.
Ever since I first moved into my assistant’s house, Harold, who’s a year older than I am, has walked around the house wearing absolutely nothing at all — no collar — like, “Hello! I’m naked! Call me Harold!”
I can’t deny that it bothers me a little, because in my litter, when we were kittens, we always wore our collars, even if we were just lounging around. That’s just the way I was raised.
I try to overlook it — the nudity. I mean, Harold is a nice enough cat, but I don’t know — it still makes me feel uncomfortable.
And lately, it’s even gotten worse. Harold’s taken to sunning himself on the kitchen counters and the windowsills for all the neighborhood cats to see.
Tabby, there are kittens and children in our neighborhood! Should I say something to Harold? Or do you think I’m overreacting?
— Annoyed in Anchorage
DEAR ANNOYED: Some cats are just more comfortable in the nude, and what you see as bad decorum could be perfectly acceptable behavior in some cat circles.
Way I see it, as long as Harold isn’t hurting anyone, I think you have to look the other way.
Problems with punctuality
DEAR TABBY: I’ve been seeing a massage therapist — my assistant’s husband, Tommy — going on about four years. I like him. I should say that right off the bat. Tommy has fantastic fingers, and he’s really helped relieve my chronic neck, back and tail tension.
Problem is, over the past few months or so, Tommy has been increasingly tardy, too. He’s late to almost all of his appointments.
I understand emergencies. Sure, things come up, but not every day. It’s disrespectful.
Last time I meowed, and ask Tommy why he was late. He just yawned. He straight-up yawned.
What do I do, Tabby? Do I need to find a new massage therapist?
— Tense in Tuscaloosa
DEAR TENSE: I’m with you. If your massage therapist is showing up late often, it is disrespectful. Tell this Tommy how his being late to your appointments interferes with your busy schedule.
Maybe there’s a good explanation. Perhaps he’s overbooking himself, or not getting enough sleep, or his fingers have been sore. Whatever the case, he owes you an explantation.
It takes courage to be assertive in situations like these. Good luck. Be strong.
Two cats, two ceremonies, one day
DEAR TABBY: Guess what!? My sister and I will be graduating from two different kitty modeling school programs on the same day!
Unfortunately, our schools are across town from each other, so our mutual pet assistants and family members won’t be able to attend both ceremonies at the same time.
What should we do?
— Puzzled in Pittsburgh
DEAR PUZZLED: First, congratulations to you and your sister for pursuing higher education!
Here’s what you can do: your felines and friends can split their duties. Get everyone together, and have each of them flip a coin to decide which ceremony to attend. Afterward, invite everyone to a big party in honor of your shared accomplishments.
Cat counts her blessings
DEAR TABBY: I’m neither too skinny nor husky. I never receive hurtful comments about my whiskers or tail. My pet assistants feed me lots of gravy, shower me with cuddles, and play with me every single day. I’ve had no problems over the years with feline family members, neighbors or co-workers. My roommates are all thoughtful, considerate and loving. Even my assistant’s in-laws — self-proclaimed “dog people” — love me to death.
So tell me, Tabby, have you ever received a letter from a reader like this?
— Fortunate in Fairfield
DEAR FORTUNATE: No. Not in recent memory. And that’s probably because most cats regard Dear Tabby as a place to bare their burdens, and not a place to share their blessings, as you have done today.
Thank you for reminding us all to count our blessings, and be thankful for what we have.
Who is Tabs the Cat? About five years ago I befriended a stray, flea-bitten tabby cat with a bad case of worms. I could see he’d fallen on hard times, but his profound knowledge of high fashion and department store cosmetics led me to believe that he was more than meets the eye. We became fast friends, and now he’s actually my boss (and a successful kitty model).
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addicts,
Tabs and Karen
P.S. I hope you enjoyed this weekend’s installment of Sundays With Tabs. To see what else acclaimed kitty supermodel Tabs the Cat has been up to over the years, check out Sundays With Tabs, the Archives: From Anastasia to Zoya.