As you know, I’m a big boy with lots of love to give. Some call me a lothario because I’ve looked for love in all the wrong places. I haven’t always made the smartest relationship decisions (my ex, Patches, is serving time in prison), but I’d like that to change.
I’ll say this up front — I require exorbitant amounts of love and attention, more than my lowly assistant can handle. Whether you’re single or seeing someone special, let me ask you this: is there room in your heart for a husky tabby? In other words, will you be my Valentine?
If so, call me on my cell at (555) 555-5555, or leave me a comment on this post. I await your response with bated kitty breath.
For now, please accept these candy hearts as a token of my affection.