A few years ago I worked in the legal field, and that’s where I met my good friend Naaman. Besides being the only straight guy I know who can tell the difference between squirrel hair and synthetic brushes (his girl is a makeup artist), he was/is a great break buddy. He and I would go on break together practically every day, and over time we came up with this game called YOU MUST CHOOSE.
The object of YOU MUST CHOOSE is to give the other person a scenario with two options, both which are disgusting/impossible/just really wrong, and they have to pick one. For example – would you rather: lose your left eye permanently and have to wear an eye patch for the rest of your life with a pirate scull and cross bones on it OR have two years of intense and painful butt pimples (both cheeks) but still retain your vision? YOU MUST CHOOSE.
It sounds simple, but honestly, you kill a lot of time, exercise your imagination (a skill hardly required in the field of professional legal lackey), and torture your good friend all in one swoop!
So when I was watching The Hills on Monday night, all of the sudden I thought:
Who would you rather be your baby daddy (and you can’t do it through in vitro) –
Disgusting, manipulative, neanderthal-esque Spencer Pratt?
Or bloated, bar fight-prone, fresh-out-of-rehab Jason Wahler?
YOU MUST CHOOSE.
Both options completely disgust me, but I’d have to go with Jason based on genetics and finances.
While I’m pretty sure Spencer is missing a chromosome or two, I’m almost positive that Jason is standard issue homo sapien. Jason also played sports waaaay back in the day (remember the innocent days of Laguna Beach?) so the baby would have a fighting chance to become an athlete, and thus could grow up to eventually kick @ss.
Chances are Jason will probably discover Jeebus or somethin’ while he’s in rehab, so he’ll be all about forgiveness, love thy neighbor, save the whales and whatnot. And should sh*t hit the fan, you know the boy won’t have any problems paying child support, because his family is loaded!
Who would you pick and why?
YOU MUST CHOOSE: The Makeup and Beauty Blog Edition
Now that you’ve had your intro to YOU MUST CHOOSE you’re ready to take it to the next level.
Please leave your answers in the comments.
Which would you rather give up for the rest of your natural life – your 266 (or your favorite brow implement of choice) OR your beloved Shu/MAC/whatever brand eyelash curler? YOU MUST CHOOSE!
You are forced onto a desert island by Christian Bale and he says that you can bring only three makeup/beauty products. Which ones would you take with you to paradise and why? YOU MUST CHOOSE.
Would you rather give up lipgloss and lipstick for the rest of your life OR have a set of really, really, really yellow teeth (which you can’t get whitened) for the rest of your life? YOU MUST CHOOSE.
Can’t wait to see what y’all cook up!
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,