The new Guerlain Black Jack Eye Pencil ($30)
You know I’ll always be your wing-woman, right? When you need a second opinion on that pair of bedazzled purple pumps (THE ANSWER IS YES!), or if you’re just in the mood to shoot the sh*t online from a Starbucks?
There’s just one thing: gambling. If you’re looking for a partner to play anything involving cards or dice, I’mma have to peace-the-eff-out, because I’m absolutely, positively the worst gambling buddy ever.
I was at a Blackjack table in Vegas a few years ago with my friend Jen when I noticed Jen’s cards, which she was holding secretly, and blurted out, “OOooh! That’s a really good hand, right?! YAY!!!”
I don’t even know if that was a faux pas or not, but everyone at the table suddenly stopped and glared at me.
Now, whenever we go to a casino together and Jen wants to play a card game, she parks me in front of Kitty Glitter and says me she’ll be back in half an hour…
So, cards aren’t my thing, but I’m glad I still took a chance on Guerlain’s Black Jack retractable Eye Pencil.
Because it’s all that and a bag of (Trader Joe’s Baked Potato) chips! Granted, it’s $30…but man! — it’s a contender for Best Eye Pencil of the Year. Like, you might unintentionally let out a pervy, “Oooooh!” when you see the deep, dark black swatch on the back of your hand.
Black Jack is one of five new retractable Eye Pencils in the new 21-piece Guerlain Voilette de Madame fall collection, which introduces new eyeshadow duos and eyeliners to the permanent line, along with new limited edition lip, cheek and nail products.
The formula is water-resistant and lasts for hours (from 8-10), even on my water lines, and it glides across my skin as if its sole purpose in life is to refrain from skipping.
I can’t handle liners that tug, and Black Jack doesn’t. It’s just so, so smooth…
Wearing Black Jack on my water lines