Tabs

First thing this morning, I got the following text from Tabs:

hi. come 2 office when u get up. bring gravy n hire photog.

Even though Tabs doesn’t work on as many modeling gigs as he used to, he hasn’t technically retired. Being an entrepreneur and a feline philanthropist, he still has a number of side hustles and kitty modeling projects.

Like, today he wanted to update his multimedia portfolio, so he hired his personal photographer, his digital team and his army of stylists for the day.

I, of course, was brought in to assist.

We walked around the neighborhood taking pics, and then the visual effects specialists turned the pics into what you see here…

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You’ll never guess what happened this morning!

One of the employees of Tabs the Cat Industries LLC said that they saw a rainbow in front of the office, so Tabs grabbed his St. Patrick’s Day commemorative cat collar and darted outside.

There it was! A rainbow. 🌈 And what did he find at the end of it? You’ll never guess!

Yeah — gold! Lots of it!

I mean it makes purr-fect sense. Tabs always has had the luck o’ the Irish. ☘️

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Sometimes, less is more. A simple white pleather collar with a single silver clasp. A narrow navy blue or bright yellow nylon collar with a black plastic buckle.

But sometimes, like today, more is more, and you feel like reminding the world that you are totally willing to break fashion rules by simultaneously rocking multiple collars.

Bam.

Fashion rules really don’t apply to Tabs. There are just some cats who can wear anything and still look good.

So yeah, today was pretty uneventful except for a Harris sighting this afternoon. We’d gone back into the house after going outside on patrol — you know, inspecting the corporate property line. Tabs was doing his nails when we heard Connor Claire exclaim, “Mama, it’s Harris! Harris is on the deck!”

Tabs leaped to action!

Well, not really leaped… He slowly sauntered over to the sliding glass door, where he locked eyes with Harris through the glass.

Then, Tabs proceeded to meow, loudly, in protest, as if to say, “Guards, get the trespasser! Apprehend him!”

I ran to the front door, opened it and stepped outside, but by the time I got over to the side of the house/office, Harris was gone. He must have run away.

It was a disaster averted, but it still annoyed the heck out of Tabs…

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Tabs sure loves the rain. Most cats avoid it at all costs, but I think he finds something romantic and poetic about it.

Ever since he was a young cat, he’s loved traipsing about in the rain, and I know this because he used to be an indoor/outdoor cat, and every night he’d go tomcat-ing outside without fail. He never once looked out the door on a rainy night and went, “Nope, back inside.” In fact, whenever it was really stormy, he was even more excited to go out.

Which brings me to this collar. It’s his new Rubber Ducky Raindrop Collar, and it’s a celebration of rain, color and his love of playful silhouettes. He had it commissioned special, of course.

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Sure, hosting the Cat Academy Awards tonight would have been fun. Tabs would have loved seeing Viggo Mortensen and Lady Gaga again, and it’s been a while since he got a good swag bag…

But if you’ve been to one awards show, you’ve been to them all, and Tabs really did want to finish crocheting the sweater he’s been making for his junior assistant.

Still, it’s hard not to reminisce about the old days on a night like tonight. As the winningest cat actor in Cat Academy Awards history, Tabs has five Cat Oscars, but it would have been nice to get a sixth.

Dang, if he hadn’t turned down that role in Black Panther, he would have won another Best Cat Actor award for sure.

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