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Tabs knows it isn’t technically fall yet, but he’s a trendsetter, not a trend follower, as you know, so he busted out the newest addition to his award-winning fall feline fashion line, the Fall 2018 Autumnal Awesomeness Cat Collar Corsage.
His assistant gave him the idea for it the other night while they studied the colors on the hill at sunset.
He quickly created a mock-up and wore it this morning on his walk.
Tabs was feeling spunky on patrol this morning. He walked me further than usual, almost to the end of the circle, and we thoroughly investigated the common area for the first time in weeks.
I think Tabs wanted to make sure Harris wasn’t hiding in any of the spots we didn’t check last week, just to make sure…
And he wasn’t. There were no intruder sightings at all this morning, which was both a relief and a disappointment. A disappointment because Tabs felt particularly fetching in his purple and white sparkly cat collar, but there were no paparazzi around to capture the moment.
In case you’re wondering…the leash is actually more for me than for Tabs. Tabs likes to keep me within 12 feet at all times in case he needs my assistance with something, like drying his paws if he accidentally steps in a puddle.
He used to also make me wear a bell, but I negotiated that out of my contract after my last employee review…
No more Mr. Nice Cat.
That’s it. Tabs is officially over trying to negotiate with trespassers like Harris who have no cat courtesy or respect for boundaries. It’s time for Tabs 2.0, and this tabby ain’t messing around.
Tabs went with black roses on his collar today to send a message to every cat in the neighborhood that they don’t want none of this, and they better step off.
Tabs was all business on patrol this morning. He left no leaf unturned.
We checked around every corner and inside every hedge, and there were no cat sightings.
Lucky for them, too, because Tabs was ready to throw down.
Even as a sci-fi nerd, my knowledge of Star Wars canon pales in comparison to Tabs’. (He, El Hub and Connor LOVED the Clone Wars and watched every episode of Star Wars Rebels together.)
Anyway, this morning Tabs pulled me aside on our walk and told me, with great seriousness, that I was Sith…which I kinda suspected for a while, but you know, now it’s official.
While we were walking around, there was a lot of talk about a disturbance in the force… I think it has to do with all of the Harris sightings lately.
When I asked Tabs about his tie, he gave me much more info than I needed about the prequels. Then I jokingly asked why he didn’t have Jabba the Hutt on his tie, because I used to call him that back in the day, and he just gave me a dirty look before proceeding to investigate the neighbor’s cacti.
We’ve received some reports of Harris being in the vicinity.
It looks like this is the new normal.
Neighborhood ne’er-do-well Harris the Cat attempted another brazen assault on the security perimeter this morning. Thankfully, Special Agent Tabs was there to stop him.
This time, Harris tried the direct approach, but Tabs, looking as sharp as ever in a black tie and white collar, was ready for him. He feigned disinterest, then whirled around into one of his favorite kitty Krav Maga moves.
It took Harris completely by surprise, and his confidence was shaken. At that point, the mental game was won, and it was only a matter of time before Harris fled.
With the perimeter secure, Tabs was able to finally relax.
He also made himself a yummy bamboo shoot salad….
