Section: Product Reviews

Paul & Joe Makeup Collection “A”

Published in: Collections, Makeup, Paul & Joe, Product Reviews

paul joe makeup collection a lipstick

Paul & Joe Lipstick A (025) from the new $100 Paul & Joe Makeup Collection A

Believe it or not, I do NOT own a bejeweled pimp cup.

Shocker, I know. 🙂

But if I did, I would raise it high and proudly to Paul & Joe for giving us 20 years of cat lady cosmetics catnip.

That’s 20 years of CCL domination, y’all!

paul joe makeup collection a all

The $100 Paul & Joe Beaute Makeup Collection A

To celebrate this meow-worthy occasion, the purveyors of kitty makeup purr-fection curated the Paul & Joe Beaute Makeup Collection A (a $100 set).

It’s a limited edition box containing their bestselling makeup products…but I’m most excited about the tote it comes with because it FOLDS INTO A CAT HEAD.

I mean, I JUST CAN’T EVEN. WITH THE EARS!?

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The kitty tote!?

It’s big, too, and has more than enough room for all kinds of cat lady shinanigans and those tubes of Paul & Joe lipstick with the cat heads that you just can’t bear to use because they’re so darned cute.

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The kitty tote, unfolded

Oh, and yeah, there’s also makeup in the collection, like a powder blush (a light coral pink with a silver sheen), a cream lipstick (a creamy, semi-sheer pink) and a pressed powder compact (a light beige powder and a shimmery beige highlighter).

Everything is full size and, because we’re talking about Paul & Joe here, adorable.

Paul & Joe Face Color A in Cheerful Tulip (39) from the new Makeup Collection A

Paul & Joe Face Color A in Cheerful Tulip (39) from the Paul & Joe Makeup Collection A

But are they, ya know, good?

Yes, I think so. Pretty good. Keep in mind, though, that Paul & Joe is geared toward the casual makeup enthusiast — at least that’s always been my perception — so if you’re a stickler for the finer technical aspects of professional makeup performance, then these products might not live up to those expectations.

Take the blush, for instance. I like how sheer and natural it looks on my cheeks, especially in natural light and in pics, but when I wear it and see myself in flourescent lighting, I think my pores look kinda big… Perhaps due to the sheen (it could be a touch finer), but then again, I could also just chill-the-eff out. 🙂 Like, if I didn’t know anything about blush, I’d probably just think it looked pretty and I’d like it.

paul joe makeup collection a bag

The bag…

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The NARS Audacious Collection for Fall 2016, and Apoline, My New Favorite Pink Lip

Published in: Collections, Makeup, NARS, Product Reviews

nars audacious collection

The five new NARS Audacious Lipsticks from the Audacious Collection

François, homeboy, I know you’re busy — what with selling your Bora Bora island and working to create the best lipglosses on the planet — so you’ve got, like, NO spare time, but couldn’t you have squeezed in a few minutes to name one of your five new Audacious Lipsticks “Karen”?

I mean, it’s not like I’m asking you to get a prison tattoo of my face on your forearm. ALL I WANT IS A LIPSTICK NAMED KAREN.

Is that too much to ask?

nars audacious collection lipsticks

The five new NARS Audacious Lipsticks from top to bottom in Apoline, Mona, Kate, Stefania and Shirley

I’m not the only Karen, and I suspect that most of us would love to have our name on our very own Audacious Lipstick. I imagine that having one would feel really great, like discovering that you’ve been made an honorary member of Salt ‘n’ Pepa and En Vogue.

This time around, Apoline, Shirley, Stefania, Kate and Mona get the honor, and they’re part of the new NARS Audacious Fall Collection, which launched August 15 at NARS boutiques and the NARS website and arrives September 1 to Sephora.

I’d lipsticks could talk, I’d ask these, “Why are you so creamy and opaque? Why don’t you ever settle into my fine lines? WHY DO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH?”

From this batch, I’m all about Apoline (the pink rose) and Stefania (the deep fuchsia), because they’re pink, and I’m predictable that way, haha.

But I also think that Shirley (the crimson), Kate (the purple orchid) and Mona (the mahogany) are pretty, too.

The NARS Audacious Collection also includes a completely new line of potted brow creams called…the Brow Defining Creams.

Available in four colors, they feel drier than a MAC Fluidline Brow Gelcreme to me and are slightly less pigmented, but in this case, I don’t think that’s a bad thing, because if I had a dollar for every time I tried a product like these and accidentally “Instagram browed” myself beyond oblivion, I’d have enough money to buy that Bora Bora island from François myself.

I usually steer clear of brow products like these for that reason — because of how intense they usually are — but these are just pigmented enough to fill in the sparse spots without leaving my brows looking heavy or overdone. The results look very natural, which makes me want to kiss François on both cheeks. 🙂

They’re $23 each and available in Sonoran (a blonde), El Djouf (a light brown), Tanami (an auburn) and Danakil (a dark brown).

nars brow defining cream

The NARS Brow Defining Creams from the top to bottom in Sonoran, Tanami, El Djouf and Danakil

There are also two new dark, pigmented Unrestricted Eyeliner Stylo liquid liners. Both are black and $27, but one has a matte finish and the other is satin.

The only thing is, I’m a flexible felt tip gal, and these have a stiff tip, so my lines end up with shaky, mousey, unsure edges, and I prefer my lines to say, “If need be, I will cut a b*tch.”

nars unrestricted eyeliner stylo

NARS Unrestricted Eyeliner Stylo in Matte and Satin

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Too Cool for School Artify Max in Pocket Lip Balm

Published in: Collections, Lips, Makeup, Product Reviews, Too Cool for School

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$12 Too Cool for School Artify Max in Pocket Lip Balms in #1 Kiss Kiss (top) and #2 Pink Pink (bottom)

“Girl, you are lookin’ FLY today in those dope-@ss earrings.”

These are the new $12 Artify Max in Pocket Lip Balms from Too Cool for School. They’re available in three shades, and the one I’m wearing is #2 Pink Pink.

too cool for school artify max in pocket k2

HAAAAY

I wore these everywhere yesterday, and I got SO MANY compliments on my jewelry…

Haha, totally kidding. 🙂 But far be it from me to deny one’s inner diva urges to over-accessorize. I LIVE to over-accessorize.

Cute in a “DAMN, is that cat rockin’ a monobrow?!” sort of way, the Too Cool for School Artify Max In Pocket Lip Balms are actually lip glosses.

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Too Cool for School Artify Max in Pocket Lip Balms in #1 Kiss Kiss (top) and #2 Pink Pink (bottom)

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:)

Dior Parisian Sky Eyeshadow Palette #506

Published in: Dior, Eyes, Makeup, Palettes, Product Reviews

dior parisian sky

The $63 (!) Dior Parisian Sky Eyeshadow Palette

Hair flips 💁 and air kisses 💕💄💋 to reader Tatiana for pointing out to me that the design on the pans in the new Dior Parisian Sky Eyeshadow Palette look like the frame of the Eiffel Tower’s arches.

Seriously, how did I not see that??

Actually, wait — I know how. I’ve had a sh*t ton on my mind lately! And there’s only so much space up there between the makeup and the cats and the crawling, teething baby…

Hoh! But Dior’s attention to detail is a surefire recipe for lusty-lust.

dior parisian sky

Details, details!

First things first, feel free to call me whatever you want — whether it be “hoarder of all the brown shadows” or “neutrals, sucka!” or “last person on earth who needs another palette of earthy golden browns.” Seriously, call me whatever colorful nicknames you can come up with to describe someone who loves browns because…what can I say? I love browns. 🙂 And this palette doesn’t have just one or two of them. It has three, and they make me wanna do the Snake, and the Robot, and the Running Man. At the same time.

THEY ARE RESPLENDENT!

I mean, who gets emo about browns? THIS CHICK RIGHT HURR.

dior parisian sky swatches

Dior Parisian Sky swatches

Even though I like them both equally, I think I’ll get more use out of this palette than the purple-powered Dior Capital of Light Eyeshadow Palette #806 we looked at a few days ago.

There’s a dark warm reddish brown that looks like an eyeshadow version of MAC Teddy liner; a glossy, medium golden brown similar to a supercharged version of MAC Soba eyeshadow; and a light and juicy peachy gold brown.

All three glow with Dior’s signature finish that goes easy on the fine lines, and they feel smoother than the sound of LL Cool J whispering “I need love” in yo’ ear…

I mixed all three of them on my lids for a smoky brown eye fest today.

Oh, and FYI, that darkest brown shade? It’s SO not playin’.

dior parisian sky

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Get Glossy Gorgeousness AND a Creamy Finish With the NARS Velvet Lip Glides

Published in: Lips, Makeup, NARS, Product Reviews

nars velvet lip glide

The $26 NARS Velvet Lip Glides

You know what happens when you say to Siri, “Yo, Siri, take me to the nexus of liquid lipstick and gloss!” and you hop into your Honda Civic (that you lovingly refer to as “Murray”), and Siri keeps saying nonsensical things like, “Keep right, then keep right,” and even though you’re thinking, “Siri, you WACK, girl,” you listen to her anyway, because you have a feeling that you’ll still end up someplace good?

And then you roll up to this little slice of NARS heaven known as the NARS Velvet Lip Glides, and you think to yourself, THANK YOU, LAWD, FOR HOOP EARRINGS, PIZZA SLICES AND THE NEW NARS VELVET LIP GLIDES?

nars velvet lip glide doe foot

The NARS Velvet Lip Glide doe-foot

Yup, NARS did it again.

Just plunge an arrow — and don’t even bother with the bow — straight into my makeup-loving heart, because these liquid lipsticks (Or are they glosses? It’s hard to tell…) are true love. Like, I could dance with them at a wedding, and I’d see our entire future together.

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Wearing NARS Velvet Lip Glide in Danceteria

Basically, these are… Honestly, I can’t figure out how to classify them. They feel like medium-weight, non-sticky glosses similar to the MAC Cremesheens, but they pack a lot of pigment and look like liquid lipsticks…except that they have a creamy finish, so they don’t dry up like liquid lipsticks, which means that your lips don’t end up looking like a cat butt. 🙂

They start off moderately shiny and stay that way for about an hour before wearing down to a soft matte finish. I find that I usually have to reapply them after about three hours.

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Wearing NARS Velvet Lip Glide in Bound

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