“A storm’s brewin’…”

I always wanted to say that. Storms are brewing within Dolce & Gabbana’s new $30 Graphite pencil — a rain cloud of a blackened gray liner for lash and water lines, and my new gunmetal gray liner love.

There’s something almost meteorological about this deep, dark gunmetal… Micro flecks of shimmer dance along its surface like little lightning sparks.

It’s quite the Gothic scene, too, like a sweet lace dress with black leather cuffs and spikes — the perfect marriage of delicate and dangerous. Classic with an edge. Kittens with claws.

Smooth like a long board riding a glassy wave, the soft pencil glides along the skin, leaving deep blackened chrome gray lines in its wake (smudge ‘em for a smokey look) that last 4-5 hours on my lash lines, 5-6 on my water lines.

I’m partial to wearing it with golds, beige and brown shades, where it kicks those neutrals up a notch.

PRICE: $30
AVAILABILITY: Available now with the rest of the True Monica summer collection at Saks Fifth Avenue stores and online
MAKEUP AND BEAUTY BLOG RATING: B+ (pricey, babe)

Hump it!

I had tears streaming down my cheeks watching this video last night. I hope it helps get your hump day off to a great start.

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

Guess who didn’t realize that she left all of her makeup brushes at home until she was two hours into a three-hour drive to Redding from the Bay Area last weekend?

Go on, guess. Her name starts with “K.”

“Kar…”

Here’s a hint: she was supposed to be going to a fancy schmancy Mother’s Day brunch with her hub’s family.

“Kare…”

Yup! Yours truly. So when we got into town I had El Hub take me to the nearest MAC counter to pick up some emergency supplies, namely a Veluxe Brow Liner in Deep Dark Brunette, a 224 Tapered Brush and a 109 Small Contour Brush.

Seeing as how I usually use at least half a dozen different brushes for most of my real-deal makeup looks, it was actually kind of fun seeing what I could do with just one eye brush and a face brush.

Didn’t turn out half bad! — so I thought I’d write it down.

A two-brush makeup tutorial for a Mother’s Day brunch-tested look with gold, brown and coral.

If you’re blazing through your makeup without a minute to spare and have to apply multiple products with the same brush…

• Begin by applying the lightest products first
• Quickly clean the brush head a bit between products, swiping it back and forth across a dry paper towel
• Try to stick to products with similar formulas — powders with powders and creams with creams

You most definitely do not have to use these same brushes or products for something like this. If you don’t have anything here, swap it out for a product from your stash.

1. Apply your foundation and concealer with your fingers
2. Apply a base all over your lids with your shimmery copper eye shadow stick
3. Blend! — with a finger
4. Highlight the inner corners of your eyes with your shimmery light golden eye shadow stick
5. Fill in your brows
6. Load a tapered blending brush with face powder to set your under-eye concealer
7. Sweep your shimmery golden powder eye shadow all over your lids with the same brush
8. Blend your shimmery dark brown powder eye shadow into the outer corners of your eyes with the same brush
9. Line your upper and lower water lines
10. Coat your upper and lower lashes with mascara
11. Cut down on the shine by loading your face brush with face powder and applying that to your forehead, nose and chin
12. Sweep a matte bronzer below your cheekbones and around the edge of your face and jawline with the same brush for contouring
13. With the same brush, apply a peach blush to the apples of your cheeks
14. Still with the same brush, dust a peachy bronze highlighter on your upper cheeks
15. Add a coral lipstick…
16. Now give yourself a hand because you’re done!

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

9 Things a Fashion-Forward, Makeup-Loving and Somewhat Judgemental Feline Is Thinking When You Wear the New MAC Powerchrome Eye Pencils

1. Will you PLEASE stop gushing about how these creamy, flexible shadow pencils don’t need a primer, and start gushing about how awesome I am instead??



2. Are you getting so lazy that you don’t even bother to use eye brushes anymore? I mean, I totally appreciate that you’re doing quick eye looks with these (frees up your time to do more of my bidding), but I really hope that this rampant laziness of yours doesn’t spill over into your pet assisting duties.
3. Maybe you should take those fingers you’ve been using for blending and utilize them to scratch behind my ears a little more…
4. I see that your lids are looking shimmery and sparkly. Kudos for that, but it’s distracting people who would otherwise be admiring my shiny coat.
5. Okay, okay, so I don’t totally hate your makeup. That shimmery brown and black smokey eye you’re wearing does look moderately fierce… Nowhere near as fierce as my naturally smokey eyes, of course, but fierce nevertheless.
6. It only took you five minutes to do that eye look. That’s fast, but NOT FAST ENOUGH! Now go to the kitchen immediately and fix me some gravy.
7. I give you permission to wear these gold, copper, charcoal and bronzed brown pencils all summer long…since all of them go well with my fur.
8. Good thing these pencils stand up to warm weather and perspiration, because when we’re on my private South Pacific island, I’ll need you to look good at all times, in the event that the paparazzi find us.
9. Ugh! Yes, you may take your vacation in June, pending completion of the necessary paperwork, obviously. And just so you know, even though it’s a terrible inconvenience on my part, I’m still happy to help you with your travel makeup list. In fact, I suggest starting now by packing the MAC Powerchromes. You’re welcome.

All cattitude aside, the pigments powering the $21 MAC Powerchrome Eye Pencils from the new Temperature Rising collection are nothing short of awesome, babe. Totally backup worthy, and then some.

Wear them by themselves or as bases for powder eye shadows.

Creamy, soft Rich Glance, Copper Strip, Life’s Luxury and Polished Jet are like a great day when everything just goes your way, smooothly. You get about a minute to blend out the edges before the shadows set, and I usually use my fingers for that.

Once these dry, I don’t have to touch ‘em for 10-12 hours, and that’s even without primer.

These saved my butt last weekend! I forgot all of my brushes when El Hub and I drove up to Redding last weekend (Grrr!), but I had these pencils with me, so I was still able to do some pretty decent eye looks for dinner and brunch.

And yesterday I wore Sparkly Powerchrome on my lids while cleaning the house (yes, sometimes I wear makeup to clean).

Here’s to hoping that MAC releases them in some other colors soon.

PRICE: $21 per 0.055-ounce stick
AVAILABILITY: Limited edition, coming May 16 online and May 23 to MAC counters and stores
MAKEUP AND BEAUTY BLOG RATING: A+

Lame grownup stuff…

Sorry if I haven’t been around too much lately. I’ve had a lot of “lame grownup stuff” to do, like cleaning the condo and shredding so much accumulated paper that I actually broke the shredder (oops!), and just trying to generally get my schtuff in order.

It’s nice to cross some of this stuff off my list, though… I’m beginning to feel less frazzled than I have in ages.

Just wanted to say I miss you. I’m still here. How are things over there?

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

Sometime in the not-so-distant future…

“Remember smog?”

“Smog! Of course I remember smog. It was one of my favorite things about the early twenty-first century.”

“Mine too!”

Years from now as you and I share a cheesecake in the middle of the night at our Miami home with the other Golden Girls — dibs on being the Sophia of the group! She’s short, cranky and carries her purse around everywhere, so I feel like I’d be a good fit — we’ll look back on this time as the era of Smog.

No, not the kind that hovers over the San Fernando Valley… I’m referring to Urban Decay’s $19 shimmery masterpiece of golden khaki bronze, the 24/7 Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner in Smog.

“Gosh, we wore it with everything!” we’ll say. “We didn’t even touch black liners there for a while.”

It looked so good with summery golds, khakis, bronzes and browns. Even corals, purples and teals.

“Dang,” we’ll say, “that was one flexible liquid liner…”

You’ll roll your eyes as I retell the story (FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME) of how I was wearing waterproof Smog along my lash lines when I bumped into Ryan Gosling that time in Hawaii.

It was early in the morning just after dawn, hardly anyone else in the water, and I was sitting back on my surfboard waiting for the next wave. Smog’s shimmery, shiny finish caught the sunlight, which caught Ryan’s eye and prompted him to paddle over and say, “Hey girl.”

“We surfed, laughed and shared a shave ice that day,” I’ll say, “and Smog lasted from 10-12 hours.”

At some point you’ll remind me of my penchant for telling tall tales, and I’ll tap my plate with my fork, contemplating another slice of cheesecake.

What else can I say about Smog, babe? I just love it.

It’s waterproof and long-lasting enough to spend the day surfing and complements just about every eye color I’ve ever seen.

I love the way its golden khaki bronze color works with the kinds of colors I like to wear in summer.

And when it gets really hot — like so hot that you could fry an egg on the sidewalk — I’ll wear Smog with a waterproof mascara and a nice gloss.

If you’re looking to take a break from brown and brown liners, try Smog.

The long-running Unsung Heroes series features some of my favorite permanent collection products from a variety of bodacious beauty brands.

I recommend Mother’s Day brunch on the Sacramento River at View 202

Did you have a good weekend? El Hub and I drove up to Redding to spend a couple days with his mom and dad. My folks were out of town, so we’ll be celebrating Mother’s Day with them next weekend.

It was nice. Very relaxing, but HOT! Sticky, icky hot in the mid 90s.

That’s Redding for ya.

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

Is Tom Ford Beauty’s $65 Skin Illuminator in Fire Lust more like a candle or a five-alarm blaze?

Hmm…

Well, let’s just say that it’s a little like trimming your bangs…if trimming bangs had anything at all to do with liquid face illuminators.

Put another way, it’s a subtle effect that won’t hit someone over the head, but if you point it out to ‘em, they’ll probably say something like, “Oh, yeah… I can see it now. Kinda.”

Blending this lightweight, moisturizing, pearlescent pinkish peach liquid formula on bare skin or mixing it with liquid foundation or tinted moisturizer (I heart MAC Face & Body) bestows a glow like late afternoon sunlight.

It’s not high shine. There’s no disco mirror ball action here. Just a barely-there, sun-kissed sheen.

According to Tom, you can also wear Fire Lust as a highlighter under, or on top of, makeup, but when I tried both ways, it broke up the cream products and powders I was wearing, leaving my cheeks patchy.

Just something to think about….

Not everyone wants makeup that shouts, “HAAAY!” so there is a market for subtlety. If you don’t want an illuminator that looks greasy or shiny, or draws attention to your pores, Fire Lust could be a win, but if you’re looking for more pizazz, you might want to save that $65 for something else.

For me, I think it’s just a’ight. Very pricey, and I’m thinking that $30 NARS Orgasm Illuminator delivers a similar effect.

For the top-shelf prices Tom charges, I’m drawn more to Escapade and Pink Haze from the same collection.

PRICE: $65
AVAILABILITY: Limited edition, available now at Tom Ford counters (may also be available online at neimanmarcus.com)
MAKEUP AND BEAUTY BLOG RATING: B-

Onward to the weekend!

You made it.

I was hoping to go see The Great Gatsby tonight, but it didn’t pan out. I grabbed a quick bite, and now I’m just doing a load of laundry and buffering an episode of Scandal.

Doing anything fun for Mother’s Day this weekend? Have a great night.

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen