Ready, set, splash! The new $28 LORAC Ready, Set, Splash liner set.

To El Hub when he insists that there’s an upper limit on the number of liners I could possibly need on a trip, I say, “Pish-tosh!”

“We’re only gonna be two days!” he says. “Why would you need 10 liners?”

My response: to pack 20 eyeliners! And then to painstakingly describe every single one in great detail, and how my happiness — no, my very survival! — depends on having all of them with me.

Hey, you just never know when you’ll get the urge to do a two-color double-winged flick? YOU NEVER KNOW!

This is why I find LORAC’s new $28 Ready, Set, Splash kit appealing…

That, and the quick-drying, waterproof formula.

The set’s four twist-up pencils come in colors that work well with most of my favorite summer eye looks.

Ultra Black, Navy, Charcoal and Jade will take you from poolside to dinner party in the blink of a cat eye, and when I want a smudgy vibe, I can just flip one over, and use the sponge tip on the back side.

From the left: Ultra Black, Charcoal, Jade and Navy

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Sure, I’ll take a dip! A MAC Sun Dipped Pro Longwear Bronzer ($30, from the new Temperature Rising collection).

The following is an excerpt from an actual email conversion between blogger and makeup/cat enthusiast Karen and her longtime friend and surf buddy Cindy that took place on the morning of Friday, May 17, 2013.

Immediately following this exchange, Karen swept MAC’s new Sun Dipped Pro Longwear Bronzer on her face…

KAREN: When was the last time we went surfing together?
CINDY: I don’t know. Hawaii in 2006?
KAREN: That can’t be right.
CINDY: Yeah, I think so. It was right before your wedding.
KAREN: Seriously? Why are we so lame? We have to fix that.
CINDY: You could always go with me to Ocean Beach.

[NOTE: Ocean Beach is cold. It runs along the Great Highway on the west/Pacific side of San Francisco, and it's so cold that just thinking about it is making my fingers and toes numb.]

KAREN: That’s not happening unless we’re being chased by zombies and the only way we can escape is by surfboard.

You know that moment when the water drips down the back of your wetsuit? Yeah, I hate that.

Okay, now I’m freezing cold. BRB! Need to put on some bronzer.

These are days of my life…

Don’t you feel warmer after putting on bronzer? Or is that just me…?

A light dusting of MAC’s new $33 Sun Dipped won’t turn Ocean Beach into Waikiki, but I think it does make me look tanned and toasty and gives me a sunnier outlook, too.

It can’t only be the power of suggestion, either. Sun Dipped has a sunny secret weapon: red tones!

Of the four powder bronzers in the MAC Temperature Rising collection, it’s by far the reddest one, and the one that most naturally simulates 30 minutes of fun in the sun.

A swatch on my NC 42 skin

Oh, hai! It’s Tom Ford Beauty Illuminating Cheek Color in Bronzed Amber. I’m wearing it here on my cheeks atop MAC Face & Body Foundation.

I like makeup.

This probably comes as no surprise if you’ve been here before…but I’m particularly fond of blushes and highlighters that come in stick form.

Especially ones that leave my face looking all sweet and angelic, like I should be floating high above the earth on a bed of billowy clouds, sunlight dappling my skin, while a heavenly chorus sings, “Ahhhhhh!” The more people wondering if I had wings tucked beneath my blazer, the better.

Tom Ford’s two new summer 2013 Illuminating Cheek Colors ($58 each, OMG!) are the latest examples of this particular makeup weakness/obsession of mine.

Dewy, is that you?

Blush Guilt

Pinky peach Blush Guilt and Bronzed Amber represent TF’s take on cream stick blushes with an interesting twist. They give a sheer, glistening, almost wet look to cheeks.

Bronzed Amber

It’s as if the team in charge of the finish part of this equation went on a week-long spa trip to Canyon Ranch and never quite recovered, because when I wear either of these colors, I feel like I look like I haven’t got a care in the world…like my only concerns are whether I should have a hibiscus or a peppermint tea between my facial and my 120-minute shiatsu massage.

Seriously, my cheeks just glow.

The texture’s the balm!

Blush Guilt on the left and Bronzed Amber on the right

Wearing Dolce & Gabbana’s Voluptuous Lipstick in Gentle Monica 70, one of three new shades in the True Monica collection

My favorite thing about the three new Dolce & Gabbana Voluptuous Lipsticks in the True Monica collection? That even if you’re clad in frayed sweatpants and a t-shirt peppered with holes, and your hair passed the point when it probably should’ve been washed THREE DAYS AGO, and there are still sticky boogers all up in your eyes because you decided not to wash your face this morning…you’ll still feel like a seductive Italian screen siren wearing one of them, pouty lips and all.

Clockwise from the left: Nude Monica 20, True Monica 40 and Gentle Monica 70

The three $33 lipsticks, each of them inspired by Italian actress/model/all-around hot babe Monica Bellucci, whom you might remember from The Matrix Reloaded, or more recently from The Whistleblower with Rachel Weisz, and one of her signature makeup looks with smokey eyes and nude-toned, full lips.

From the left: Nude Monica 20, True Monica 40 and Gentle Monica 70

For the all important question: “Which of these warm, creamy lip colors would I wear to jury duty or the DMV?”

The answer: “Any of them.” Creamy beige Nude Monica, pinkish beige True Monica or pale rose Gentle Monica.

But why stop at the courthouse? Slip one on anytime you want to stop traffic, perhaps with your hair down, a pair of femme fatale high heels and a body-con dress.

Nude Monica 20

The Revlon Perfect Heat Curling Iron 1 1/2″ Styling Iron working its magic…

I’ve been the beneficiary of a few hair compliments lately (thank you!), but I do feel obliged to point out that, left to its wild, unchecked state, my natural locks look a little something like this…

Teen angst, circa 1990, LOL!

And this…

With my younger brother in 1988

At one time I estimated that I’d spent approximately one quarter of my life growing out botched haircuts.

Why so much time?

Because my hair! — it’s so moody! It’s the frizzy, slightly-wavy-but-not-curly and hella heavy mop on top of my head, man, and it’s moody like Tabs on Monday morning.

It wasn’t until I was in my 30s that I figured out some reliable ways to regularly wrangle it into submission.

Finding a stylist who knew what to do with my mop, and could show me how to do it myself, made the biggest difference.

Her name was Alis Peralta, and she works over at A-Line Salon out here in Corte Madera, California. Getting some good styling tools, like the $17 Revlon Perfect Heat Tourmaline Ceramic 1 1/2″ Styling Iron, helped, too.

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