Archive - Product Reviews

Shorty Schwing My Way: theBalm’s Schwing Black Liquid Eyeliner Loves Ladies Who Pine for Precise Lines

Published in: Eyes, Makeup, Product Reviews, theBalm

theBalm Schwing Black Liquid Eyeliner (4)

Wearing theBalm Schwing Black Liquid Eyeliner ($17) on my upper lash lines

Winged eyeliner: making my life harder since the dawn of time.

Seriously, though, why does winged liner, particularly winged liquid liner, make me want to scream into a pillow?

The worst is that moment when the teeny wing you wanted — just a small kitten flick — suddenly morphs into a huge, oversized bat wing that reaches all the way up to your temples, and you have no control over the situation whatsoever.

It’s as if the universe invented winged liner primarily to mock us.

Well, universe, screw you and your plans for makeup mayhem, ’cause I just started using theBalm’s Schwing Black Liquid Eyeliner ($17), and I am no longer clutching my chair and rocking back and forth. :)

theBalm Schwing Black Liquid Eyeliner (3)

LOL, the box! This is kind of what it’s like to hang out with my friends Jen and Cindy.

You might think that a look with thin liquid liner and a tiny kitten flick would be easy, seeing as how you’re not using a ton of product, but oh! — those skinny lines and tiny wings are like the makeup equivalent of open heart surgery. They’re just hard, man.

But Schwing is all about control. The felt tip draws skinny matte black lines with the precision of a fine-tipped calligraphy pen. Hugging lash lines is easy.

theBalm Schwing Black Liquid Eyeliner (2)

theBalm Schwing Black Liquid Eyeliner ($17)


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The Sonia Kashuk Holiday 2014 Collection Proves It’s the Golden Age of Luxurious, Affordable Makeup

Published in: Collections, Makeup, Palettes, Product Reviews, Sonia Kashuk

Sonia Kashuk Holiday 2014

Sonia Kashuk’s Art Deco-inspired holiday 2014 collection might give you ideas…

…ideas like, “Whee! Look at me! I’m a flapper in The Great Gatsby, and I’m doing the Charleston!” Then you start dancing around your office, but you pull an inner thigh muscle when you kick a little higher than you should have, and from that day forward, you rue the day you danced the Charleston in your office without properly stretching beforehand.

Sonia Kashuk Eye Palette in Deco Starlet

The Sonia Kashuk Eye Palette in Deco Starlet ($19.99)

Just an FYI! :)

Sonia’s latest limited edition collection does make me want to kick up my heels, it’s true. The seven pieces look totally expensive, but all but one of them are less than $20 each.

Sonia Kashuk Nude Lip Palette in Jazzed Up Nudes

The Nude Lip Palette in Jazzed Up Nudes ($19.99)


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Is Kat Von D’s Star Studded Eyeshadow Book a Beauty Bestseller?

Published in: Eyes, Kat Von D, Makeup, Palettes, Product Reviews

Kat Von D Star Studded Eyeshadow Book

Wearing colors from Kat Von D’s new limited edition Star Studded Eyeshadow Book ($55) on my eyes

The first time I saw Kat Von D’s new $55 Star Studded Eyeshadow Book, all cloaked in black with that star pattern on the outside, I thought, “Ooh! It looks like something Slash would wear on his wedding day.”

Kat Von D Star Studded Eyeshadow Book

Imagine my surprise when I opened it and found 24 uber-organized eyeshadows grouped into efficient color-coordinated quads.

I dunno… Chaos just strikes me as more rock ‘n’ roll, ya know?

Each of the four-color subsections includes a base, lid, crease and accent shade, like something you might find over at a more formal, buttoned-up line like Trish McEvoy, but don’t let that fool you — these shadows still have major rawr.

There’s also a helluva lot more glitter. :)

Kat Von D Star Studded Eyeshadow Book

The Kat Von D Star Studded Eyeshadow Book ($55)


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Step Right Up to the bareMinerals Kissing Booth 6-Piece Marvelous Moxie Lipgloss Collection: A Carnival of Glassy, Sheer Color

Published in: bareMinerals, Kits and Sets, Lips, Makeup, Product Reviews

bareMinerals Kissing Booth marvelous Moxie Lipgloss in Jezebel

bareMinerals Kissing Booth Collection Marvelous Moxie Lipgloss in Jezebel

Thanks, bareMinerals, for inspiring my latest list with your new $26 Kissing Booth Lipgloss Collection.

I’m calling it “Carnival Attractions That I Absolutely Never Want to Operate.”

bareMinerals Kissing Booth

bareMinerals Kissing Booth, $26

At the top of the list, the kissing booth, which, yeah, probably isn’t a good fit for the girl who freaked-the-eff-out when she found out that her (now ex) boyfriend was using her toothbrush (EWWWWWWW!).

Can you imagine the germs exchanged during one afternoon at a kissing booth? Um…no thank you.

Carnival Attractions That I Absolutely Never Want to Operate

  • The kissing booth — Yuck! I don’t know where those lips have been!
  • The Ferris wheel — People freaking out in buckets a hundred feet off the ground? I can’t… I just can’t.
  • The milk bottle baseball game — Oh, hell to the no. How much do you want to bet someone would hit me with a ball?
  • The carousel/merry-go-round — Make it stop! The music is driving me nuts…

Now, if I could insist that there were only two customers at my kissing booth, El Hub and Tabs (who would get nose kisses, of course), then cool. :) And I’d also want these Kissing Booth Collection glosses around, because their sheer pigments wouldn’t leave bright smooch marks behind.

bareMinerals Kissing Booth
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For Acts of Impromptu Eye, Lip and Cheek Nudity: The $54 Urban Decay Naked On the Run Palette

Published in: Palettes, Product Reviews, Urban Decay

Urban Decay Naked on the Run Palette

The new Urban Decay Naked on the Run Palette, $54

I’ve seen naked runners before…although I kind of wish I hadn’t, because one of the guys had the word “slut” tattooed on his butt in American Typewriter, and now I’ll never be able to see American Typewriter the same way, but that’s what happens when you run the Bay to Breakers…

This is only marginally related to the new Naked On the Run palette by Urban Decay. :)

Urban Decay Naked on the Run Palette

The new Urban Decay Naked on the Run Palette, $54

UD pretty much covers everything here with the exception of your base makeup and brows. There’s something for eyes, lips, cheeks and lashes, and most of the colors are brand new.

Urban Decay Naked on the Run Palette

This look here actually didn’t take long at all, and I used five of the six shadows. I’d already put on foundation and filled in my brows, but I sprinted through the eyes, cheeks, lips and lashes.

Wearing Eyeshadows in 5050, Fix, Resist, Dare and Stun; Glide-On Eye Pencil in Stag and Perversion Mascara on my eyes; the Blush and Bronzer on my cheeks; and Naked Lipgloss in Sesson on my lips

Wearing Eyeshadows in 5050, Fix, Resist, Dare and Stun; Glide-On Eye Pencil in Stag and Perversion Mascara on my eyes; the Blush and Bronzer on my cheeks; and Naked Lipgloss in Sesso on my lips


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