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My dear friends. Our sweet Tabs left this world on Monday afternoon. It was peaceful and painless, and he was surrounded by so, so much love.
I’m not ready to talk about it yet, but I wanted to let you know what was going on, and to thank you for your support and love.
Thank you for loving him.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
Dear Tabby is written by Tabs the Cat, commonly regarded as “the world’s first plus-size kitty supermodel.” Founded in mid 2012, it has quickly become the most widely syndicated cat advice column on earth — known for its fresh, feline perspective on lifestyle, fashion and style issues affecting cats and humans.
DEAR TABBY: While watching Animal Planet on the couch with my assistant last night, I caught a glimpse of what looked like a fluffy tail on the screen of her company-issued iPad.
My assistant, Pam, appearing to notice my sidelong glance, pivoted the screen away from me, at which point I feigned disinterest by intensely grooming my inner thigh (you know how it is).
When Pam got up from the couch to prepare my afternoon snackies, I swiped my paw across the iPad’s screen, entered the code to unlock it and saw what she’d been reading — a dog adoption site for our town’s local shelter.
Quite frankly, Tabby, I was shocked and dismayed. Despite being a shelter kitty myself, I very clearly told Pam when I hired her that I required her undivided attention. I specifically told her that I needed an assistant who could commit to one cat.
This is difficult because Pam has been an exceptional assistant, and I’ve been very happy with our arrangement. When I confronted her about it, she laughed and handed me a treat.
A treat!
Tabby, I’m trying to be reasonable here, but every time I think of Pam considering other employers, I fly into a jealous rage. Am I overreacting?
— Diva in Detroit
DEAR DIVA: I understand your concern. I enforce a similar arrangement with my assistant.
But consider this: has Pam always tended to your needs? Has she gone above and beyond the call of duty? If so, then perhaps she was merely web surfing.
Haven’t you ever looked at things you didn’t intend to bring home? Window shopping? I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spent browsing the Chanel website, filling my cart with Chanel-branded cat towers and toys, knowing full well that I wouldn’t be making a purchase that day.
I monitor my assistant’s Internet usage and have caught her looking at cat adoption sites several times. When it happens, I climb upon her chest, rev up the purr machine, and show her who’s boss.
Now, I can’t speak for Pam, but you may want to postpone taking any disciplinary action, for now. Refrain from making a knee-jerk decision. Be vigilant, but I would bet a bag of Feline Greenies that you’re going to be just fine.
DEAR TABBY: I am an 8-year-old cat considering a mid-life career change.
I’ve worked security all my life, but now I’m thinking of chasing my dreams of becoming America’s Next Top Kitty Model.
I’m not afraid of crowds and enjoy performing. What do you think? Should I go for it, considering my advanced years?
— Senior Superstar in San Diego
DEAR SENIOR SUPERSTAR: Bravo! I applaud your courage and sense of adventure. I think it’s a great idea. I suggest attending casting calls in your area to test the waters.
While the mature kitty modeling market is a narrow niche, it’s quite possible to have a successful career. If you don’t try, you’ll never know. I wish you luck!
DEAR TABBY: My assistant, George, has absolutely no regard for my privacy. He feels the need to share my every activity with all of our acquaintances and business associates, including the members of his book club and his many Facebook friends.
George even posts pictures of me on his website, and some are rather embarrassing (like when I’m grooming or taking a nap). Sometimes he even tweets!
Whenever I try to talk to him about it, he calls me silly.
I do think that I require more privacy than other cats, but I don’t think it’s right to tell everyone on the planet when I have tummy troubles! What can I do, Tabby? How do I make this stop?
— Private in Petaluma
DEAR PRIVATE: Your assistant may be posting these pictures of you because he’s proud.
I find that’s often the case, but you still have the right to live a life outside the limelight.
To convey this to George, you could try making yourself less available. Hide in closets, boxes and under the bed. I must tell you, though, that hiding can lead to a lonely life. I know many cats who would love to be so adored and revered by their assistants.
DEAR TABBY: When did cat-kind suddenly decide that lion cuts were “stylish”?
I can understand shaving off patches of fur for medical purposes, but to walk around with everything just hanging out like that, except for tiny tufts of fur on your head, your paws and the tip of your tail, seems wrong and ridiculous to me. Please tell the cats of the world to stop shaving their fur!
— Perturbed in Portland
DEAR PERTURBED: I fancy myself a fashion-forward feline, and I can see why you find this upsetting. Lion cuts can look a little questionable on some cats.
However, sometimes it works! Cats blessed with plush, fluffy coats may as well work it, right?
DEAR TABBY: I met a cat recently — a cute enough fellow — but the thing is, I really like his tum. Like, really, REALLY like it for some reason.
It just hangs so perfectly, and the way it swings back and forth when he walks or runs…
Anyway, I love how fluffy it is and the shape and everything.
Ironically, I’ve never actually paid much attention to tums before. Just his. So does this count as a fetish? Am I weird?
— Tum Obsessed in Topeka
DEAR TUM OBSESSED: No, I don’t think you’re weird. Now, if tums were the only thing you ever liked about cats, then you might have a belly fetish, but this just sounds like a crush. I wouldn’t go ordering that gimp costume from Amazon just yet. 🙂
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addicts,
Karen and Tabs
Dear Tabby is written by Tabs the Cat, commonly regarded as “the world’s first plus-size kitty supermodel.” Founded in mid 2012, it has quickly become the most widely syndicated cat advice column on earth — known for its fresh, feline perspective on lifestyle, fashion and style issues affecting cats and humans.
DEAR TABBY: I’ll be staying at a cat hotel for the first time next weekend when my assistants go on vacation, and I’m very excited about it!
I insisted on five-star accommodations, and my humans did not let me down.
They reserved me a personal kitty condo at an exclusive resort with a view overlooking the Pacific Ocean and arranged for all of my meals to be prepared by an award-winning, Michelin star chef.
They even booked daily play sessions through the cat concierge and scheduled me for daily spa treatments.
My question is this: what’s an appropriate tip for a spa technician? Is it the same general rule of 15 percent, and should I leave cash (I don’t usually carry a wallet), or can I have the staff charge my assistants’ credit card? I don’t want to offend anyone.
— Kit-Kat from Kailua
DEAR KIT-KAT: Congratulations on finding such wonderful assistants! It sounds like you’re in for a fun weekend of pampering and purring.
Regarding your question, it’s completely up to you. If you’d prefer to leave the tip on your assistants’ credit card, you may do so. It’s perfectly acceptable. Very few kitties actually carry cash these days, even with all of the wonderful cat bags at our disposal.
Just be sure to review your bill, because sometimes the gratuity has already been included.
Most importantly, enjoy yourself! I hope this is the first of many such getaways.
DEAR TABBY: I’ve been assisting for a demanding persian cat named Peaches for almost 10 years.
Most of the time, Peaches is nice, and when she is, I love my job and the work environment.
But I recently had a really bad week. Everything went wrong, and no matter how hard I tried, I felt like I couldn’t get anything right.
It all came to a head last Friday when I received a furrious text from Peaches.
She was right. I was definitely in the wrong. I screwed up, and I apologized.
But then Peaches sent me a second angry text, and it ruined my entire weekend.
I couldn’t stop thinking about that text and how angry Peaches sounded. I dreaded returning to work on the following Monday knowing that I’d be in the doghouse.
Tabby, I took full responsibility for my mistake, but I also feel like it was inappropriate for Peaches to text me about it over the weekend. I don’t get a lot of time off, and I need some kind of work boundaries.
Should I let it go or bring it up to Peaches?
— Frustrated in Ferndale
DEAR FRUSTRATED: I’m definitely guilty of being a demanding diva with my assistant from time to time, but I do think it would have been more appropriate for your employer to address the situation with you face to face, in person, during regular business hours.
Hopefully by now, Peaches has calmed down. If you still feel strongly about it, wait for a good time when you’re both in a pleasant mood, and ask her how she feels about your performance. Tell her that you are always open to face-to-face discussions, and that you believe they are more productive than texts.
I can’t speak for Peaches, but I know that as a kitty employer, I always want to encourage my assistant to be the best she can be. Hopefully the both of you can find some common ground. Good luck.
Dear Tabby is written by Tabs the Cat, commonly regarded as “the world’s first plus-size kitty supermodel.” Founded in mid 2012, it has quickly become the most widely syndicated cat advice column on earth — known for its fresh, feline perspective on lifestyle, fashion and style issues affecting cats and humans.
DEAR TABBY: HALP! My roommate Harold has a BIG problem with clothes — well, collars, specifically.
See, he just won’t wear them.
Ever since I first moved into my assistant’s house, Harold, who’s a year older than I am, has walked around the house wearing absolutely nothing at all — no collar — like, “Hello! I’m naked! Call me Harold!”
I can’t deny that it bothers me a little, because in my litter, when we were kittens, we always wore our collars, even if we were just lounging around. That’s just the way I was raised.
I try to overlook it — the nudity. I mean, Harold is a nice enough cat, but I don’t know — it still makes me feel uncomfortable.
And lately, it’s even gotten worse. Harold’s taken to sunning himself on the kitchen counters and the windowsills for all the neighborhood cats to see.
Tabby, there are kittens and children in our neighborhood! Should I say something to Harold? Or do you think I’m overreacting?
— Annoyed in Anchorage
DEAR ANNOYED: Some cats are just more comfortable in the nude, and what you see as bad decorum could be perfectly acceptable behavior in some cat circles.
Way I see it, as long as Harold isn’t hurting anyone, I think you have to look the other way.
DEAR TABBY: I’ve been seeing a massage therapist — my assistant’s husband, Tommy — going on about four years. I like him. I should say that right off the bat. Tommy has fantastic fingers, and he’s really helped relieve my chronic neck, back and tail tension.
Problem is, over the past few months or so, Tommy has been increasingly tardy, too. He’s late to almost all of his appointments.
I understand emergencies. Sure, things come up, but not every day. It’s disrespectful.
Last time I meowed, and ask Tommy why he was late. He just yawned. He straight-up yawned.
What do I do, Tabby? Do I need to find a new massage therapist?
— Tense in Tuscaloosa
DEAR TENSE: I’m with you. If your massage therapist is showing up late often, it is disrespectful. Tell this Tommy how his being late to your appointments interferes with your busy schedule.
Maybe there’s a good explanation. Perhaps he’s overbooking himself, or not getting enough sleep, or his fingers have been sore. Whatever the case, he owes you an explantation.
It takes courage to be assertive in situations like these. Good luck. Be strong.
DEAR TABBY: Guess what!? My sister and I will be graduating from two different kitty modeling school programs on the same day! 🙂
Unfortunately, our schools are across town from each other, so our mutual pet assistants and family members won’t be able to attend both ceremonies at the same time.
What should we do?
— Puzzled in Pittsburgh
Dear Tabby is written by Tabs the Cat, commonly regarded as “the world’s first plus-size kitty supermodel.” Founded in mid 2012, it has quickly become the most widely syndicated cat advice column on earth — known for its fresh, feline perspective on lifestyle, fashion and style issues affecting cats and humans.
DEAR TABBY,
First — fangirl moment! — I really enjoy your column, Tabs. I’ve been reading it since the very beginning and always trust your advice. Love ya!
Okay, I’ll cut to the chase. I’m a former outdoor kitty who’s having a hard time adjusting to indoor life.
I had been living on my own for years, mostly camping outdoors, before meeting my assistant, Mary, whom I now care for deeply.
When Mary got her new place, she asked me to move in with her, and I said, “meow!” Why not? Since we got along so well.
Thing is, the move came with a condition: I had to relinquish my outdoor privileges.
Ouch.
Tabs, I love my assistant more than gravy (well…) and want to make this arrangement work, but I’m struggling with adjusting to life indoors. I spend hours gazing out the windows, wondering what the other cats in the neighborhood are doing and wishing I could be out there with them, hunting, playing and having a good old time.
I feel myself resenting Mary a little more each day, and I’m turning into a cranky cat. Once, last week, I even tried to make a break for it behind Mary’s back when she opened the door.
Tabby, what should I do? I love my assistant, but I just don’t know if I’m cut out to be an indoor kitty.
— Indoors in Indiana
DEAR INDOORS:
I completely understand. I spent my entire kitten-hood outdoors cruising the mean streets of Mill Valley before committing to a full-time indoor environment.
It’s hard…not having the freedom to roam.
But try to remember the perks that come with indoor living. Think about it! No more having to hunt for food and always having a warm place to nap. Plus, recent advancements in cat toy technology mean that indoor kitties have more entertainment options than ever.
Here’s another idea: have you considered learning to walk on a leash? I’ve found that long walks outdoors with my assistant have definitely made indoor living easier.
On leash, you can still get your fix for the outdoors, and you can get it without any outdoor cat drama (ugh! I’m so over territorial skirmishes!). It’s also a great way to spend quality time with your assistant.
DEAR TABBY,
Sometimes, because I think it’s stylish and different, I like to wear my collar slightly askew, but some humans think it’s perfectly acceptable to readjust my collar without asking!
“Mrrow!” It drives me batty! And it’s bad enough when my assistant does it, but at least I know her. I’ve even had professional acquaintances and complete strangers do it without asking.
The last time it happened, I hissed, and the woman — get this — took offense.
Tabs, am I wrong to think my collar is off limits?
— Cranky in Cupertino
DEAR CRANKY:
I’ve had the same thing happen before, and you know, I don’t understand it either.
Perhaps it’s just people trying to be helpful, or maybe it’s an impulsive/compulsive behavior.
The most important thing is that it made you uncomfortable, so you had every right to hiss. The woman should’ve asked you first. It would’ve been the polite thing to do. Hello, newsflash. Cats are sensitive about their personal space.
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