“My hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps.”
— From the lyrical masterpiece, “My Humps,” by the Black Eyed Peas
Hmmm, am I the only person on this planet confused by what Fergie’s singing about in this song? She’s talking about her bum, right? Or do these words have a deeper symbolic meaning that only forward-thinking philosophers can truly understand?
The only thing I can say with certainty is Fergie ain’t crooning about 1.) Wednesdays (aka Hump Days) or 2.) dromedaries.
Anyway, in honor of Wednesdays, humps and lumps, here’s today’s edition of YOU MUST CHOOSE!
Would you rather…
1. Have a really great looking bum (it’s so great planets could revolve around it and poets would write odes to it) but have a missing front tooth (which you can’t replace — you’re a straight up jack o’ lantern, yo).
OR
2. Have a really great looking bum (and both your front teeth) but be cursed with a lifetime full of ill-fitting, terribly uncomfortable bras?
YOU MUST CHOOSE!
You know what to do.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
Christine says
February 6th, 2008 at 5:02 pmNobody could see how badly fitting the bra would be… but that’s still a rough choice!
Hope you’re doing well! It’s been awhile!
Karen says
February 6th, 2008 at 5:34 pmHey homie,
I thought of you the other day when I went to buy Margin (but I ended up with Sunbasque, go figs).
Everything on this end is good! I’m just glad it’s not raining…
How are things with you?
Megan says
February 6th, 2008 at 6:09 pmWOW…Karen this is much harder for me than the one earlier in the week…hmmm…I think i’m going for the ill fitting bras too.
It’s sad that we are so vain huh? You know…last night I went and got my hair cut. So my hairstylist’s mom has been going through treatment for oral cancer. ANYWAY I asked how her mom was and she was like “Driving me nuts!…You know the other day I went to visit her in the hospital and she was laying there saying…’look how flat my stomach is’…” She was ready to kill her mom herself…because she’s been so sick and her focus is not on getting better… but seriously…that just speaks to it… she lost weight because of radiation and pain and not being able to eat…but she’s proud of her flat stomach. 🙂
Lea says
February 6th, 2008 at 7:55 pmHello Miss Karen,
I think the Dutchess was referring to her twins..her breasts, her lovely lady lumps?
I think I will go for #2, the awesome cabooze and uncomfortable bras. Although on second thought, I know how funny (and annoying at the same time) it is to see a girl constantly adjusting her bra. Oh I don’t know I’m not givin up my front TOOF!
Thank goodniss we’re almost over the hump day. Ciao.
Hana says
February 6th, 2008 at 8:51 pmThat question is just far too cruel. ;_; I can’t decide at all.
Glosslizard says
February 6th, 2008 at 9:21 pmUncomfy bras would indeed be a curse, but I’d bear it before I’d have a gaping hole in my grin! Thank goodness this is just rhetorical!
Happy over-the-hump day, lady! 🙂
Breezy says
February 6th, 2008 at 10:51 pmPsh!! Come on now Karen, with a booty like you’re describing, nobody would be looking at the grill. Plus you didn’t say if it would be a top or a bottom front tooth so I choose bottom. I can hide that no prob. Yaaay, now where is my fantastic bum?
Veronica says
February 7th, 2008 at 1:32 amI would choose the terrible bra. Wouldn’t be much different from today since they appaerently don’t make bras my size (and I’m not oddly shaped in any way!) but all I can use look like grandma’s old ones… Boohooo… So, just give me the booty please!
Mrs. Lynne says
February 7th, 2008 at 2:31 amOh sh*t! This is a tough one!! I need to phone-a-friend! Lol.
Ok, seriously though. I think I’d go with the miserable bra situation. My boobs aren’t that big anyways so I can probably get by with a bit of tape for the colder days, lolloolollol. Or maybe a sports bra. Or is that going to tossed into a size to big/small machine to make it miserable?
Isabella says
February 7th, 2008 at 5:57 amHi Karen,
Love your blog!
I would definitely have to take option number two, I don’t care how great my bum looks if I didn’t have a front tooth I would be horrified…just thinking of the years of braces torture that I went through.
Anna22 says
February 7th, 2008 at 7:51 amHi!!! I’d choose the bra option and i wouldn’t wear a bra.Since i would have a great ass and never wear a bra i would be a sex icon!!Hahahahahaha in my dreams.You made my day Karen.
Ping. says
February 7th, 2008 at 8:19 amhahaha i definately choose the bra option! Totally agree with Anna22. that way definately works well hahaha
TUPRNUT says
February 7th, 2008 at 8:34 amSince I love my teeth (especially since my parents spent thousands on them while I was in junior high)… I’m going to have to go with option #2.
Ahhhhh… to dream of the perfect bum.
Amanda says
February 7th, 2008 at 12:34 pmoooh-this one is *hard*. I agree with all the post about how bad it would be to not have a tooth, but I really, really, really don’t deal well with uncomfortable clothing in any form, so I’ll be brave and say the TOOTH>
Hillary says
February 7th, 2008 at 1:25 pmNo contest, I’d deal with the uncomfortable bras. Women go through all sorts of torture in the name of beauty anyway, so I think I’d get used to it after awhile. I don’t know that I’d ever get used to being a straight up jack-o-lantern….
May says
February 7th, 2008 at 3:03 pmLOL!! You are too funny! I’m with Breezy on this one! I’d pick no front bottom tooth and an ass from the heavens!
Angel says
February 7th, 2008 at 9:51 pmEeh, the second option is what I seem to go through on a daily basis anyway, so it’s a no-brainer for me. Bra option all the way. 😀
Julie says
February 8th, 2008 at 1:33 amSup, Karen?
Haven’t been here in a loong time.
Hump Day is OVER 🙂 Wow, very hard question. I think I’ll go with umm the ill fitting bras. I talk way too much (thus showing my teeth) and I would feel bloody conscious of people looking at that gap in my teeth!
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:12 amHi Megan,
I hope your hairstylist’s mom gets better, and that she focuses on getting healthy. 🙂
I’m tempted by the ill-fitting bra option, too…but I’ve worn so many in the past few years (my weight’s been fluctuating) and it is soooo uncomfortable. Maybe even more uncomfortable than really painful shoes.
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:14 amHi Lea,
Ha! I feel ya! I was once at a wedding where the girl in front of me kept constantly adjusting her bra (and to make it worse, it was a Catholic ceremony, so I had to watch this happen for over an hour). I just wanted to shake the girl!
The thought of giving up my front toof pains me too, ahhhh!
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:15 amHi Hana,
I know, right? God I love this game. My best friend at work and I played it all the time we’d try to out-cruel each other. I have to give him props for thinking up of some messed up scenarios…
Anyway, hope your week went well! Happy Friday!
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:16 amHi Glosslizard,
Wooty woot woot, tis Friday! Are you ready for the weekend?
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:17 amWell, aren’t you clever, Ms. Breezy 😉
Happy Friday!
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:18 amHi Veronica,
LOL, I love those granny bras. I wish I could wear the cute and frilly ones but those rarely are enough to rear the girls in. Sigh!
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:19 amHi Mrs. Lynne,
Sadly, your sports bras would be uncomfortable, too. I know VS makes those boob tape things! My friend uses them and they’re supposed to be pretty good (so she says).
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:20 amHi Isabella,
Thanks, girl! I had braces, too, for years! The funny thing is, though, that back in my teenage days I never got to kiss a boy with braces, ha!
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:21 amLOL, Anna22,
OMG, hot! I didn’t think of that one. Seriously, you’d be an icon and would be worshipped by the masses for your assets!
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:21 amI agree, Ping. Anna22’s got the right idea, ha!
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:23 amHi Tuprnut,
I love my teeth too…I had both upper and lower braces back in the day! I didn’t have to wear head gear though (which for some reason bummed me out! I used to think headgear was kinda cute).
I actually think my braces are somewhere in an envelope in my parent’s house, ha!
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:24 amHi Amanda,
You are a brave girl. I don’t deal with uncomfortable clothing in any way either (especially shoes and undergarments, oy!).
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:25 amHi Hillary,
This is so true. I can’t name how many times I’ve worn ill-fitting shoes in the name of fashion.
I suppose one could be a cute jack-o-latern if you worked it right…
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:26 amHi May,
Seriously, I think I’m on board with ya’ll on this one too. Although I might go crazy with “the girls” bouncing around all the time…they would eventually succumb to gravity (everything does, boo)!
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:27 amHi Angel,
Poor thing! You need to get yourself a good bra, ASAP! Seriously, it’ll change your life. I don’t know how I functioned without DKNY bras. I was very grumpy before I found them, that’s for sure.
Karen says
February 8th, 2008 at 9:28 amHi Julie,
How are ya, my friend! How’s life been for ya? Anything new and exciting as of late? 🙂
Glosslizard says
February 8th, 2008 at 2:30 pmHa! Yes! Ready for the weekend and then some!
sarahPUFFY says
February 10th, 2008 at 3:55 amWell, to be quite honest, I already have to deal with the second one [17 years old, and I’m in a DDD. Its horrendous searching for a bra even CLOSE to my size], so I guess its only fair to choose that one. No muy bueno. ;-;
Carla says
February 12th, 2008 at 8:09 pmHi Karen
I love mac for fafi, the stylistics and Heatherrette as well they’re all great. I’ve choose the sassed-up powder for my full cheeks what do you think? oh by the way where’s Heatherette collection? didn’t you make your usual attake to the store? lol