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Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 336

March 1st, 2015 by Karen 16 Comments

The Tabs the Cat Guide to Defending Your Space

I was recently tapped by a local blogger to offer my expertise on topics outside the fields of fashion and beauty.

Since my fans have been clamoring for lifestyle advice, and I’ve been trying to build my digital empire, I’ve decided to embark upon a series of how-to guides for cats.

Now, these are not just your average “For Dummies” guides. I’ll be delving into the details and covering crucial cat knowledge acquired over a lifetime of kitty modeling, and today we’ll be starting with one of the most important challenges facing cats: defending against the enemy.

I’d be remiss right now if I did not start this guide with my favorite component of territorial defense: the accessories.

Get the gear

Build your own cat leash

What’s that saying: “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop”? In order to keep my assistants (plural) busy, I commissioned my male assistant/masseuse/personal trainer to fashion a custom couture harness for me, so that I could patrol the neighborhood in comfort and style.

This particular harness was constructed with my husky frame in mind using nylon webbing, hook & loop Velcro-style tape strips and a craft glue gun, but I’ve also seen some exceptional pre-made gear at Petco, etc.

Build your own cat leash

Build your own cat leash

Build your own cat leash

Look for long sight lines

Long sight lines

One of the most important aspects of defending your space is the ability to see the enemy coming from afar. While patrolling, I always choose places with long sight lines that allow me to see other cats and intruders far away. This gives me time to formulate a strategic plan in the event of an encounter.

Long sight lines

Establish a perimeter

Establish a perimeter

Once you’ve identified areas in your territory with long sight lines, establish a perimeter.

By nature, cats are territorial, and yet some of us do not respect boundaries. It’s important to delineate the borders between your territory and those of your enemies. Establish a perimeter.

Establish a perimeter

Establish a perimeter

Establish a perimeter

Establish a perimeter

Establish a perimeter

Establish a perimeter

Enlist a second in command (if necessary)

Second in command

“No cat is an island.” Personally, I think that saying is bullsh*t, but there are times when you will need backup. If necessary, enlist a second in command. Ideally, this should be someone you can trust unconditionally who will also feed you when you’re hungry.

Gain the higher ground

Gain the higher groundSimilar to identifying the areas in your territory with long sight lines, the higher up you are, the more territory you’ll be able to survey.

In addition to conducting outdoor patrols, I also recommend positioning lookouts in outward-facing interior windows. Remember, the enemy never sleeps.

Well…

I highly recommend climbing trees if you have access to them. Not only is this a great cardiovascular workout, but it also gives you the opportunity to file your nails and survey your territory from above.

Gain the higher ground

Gain the higher ground

Know your enemy (IMPORTANT)

** CODENAME: THE RUSSIAN BLUE **

Russian Blue

When I moved to Novato, I enlisted human agents to help me profile the known feline enemies in the neighborhood. I suggest you do the same…

** CODENAME: TATER **

Tater the Tabby (4)

Tater the Tabby (7)

Tater the Tabby (6)

** CODENAME: CHARLIZE **

** CODENAME: ELSA **

** CODENAME: CROSS-EYED KITTY **

Build a secure command center

Secure command center

To take reconnaissance to the next level, commission the building of a command center with all the latest surveillance technology. This way, you’ll be able to safely gather intel while outdoors.

The construction of my new command center is almost complete, and we expect to deploy it this week.

Secure command center

Take naps to stay alert

Tabs napping

There comes a point when fatigue results in diminishing returns. Don’t lose your edge. Schedule periodic naps throughout the day to recharge your body and your mind, and perform at a peak level.

Follow these tips, and soon you, too, will be defending your space like a boss.

Stay safe, stay strong and, above all, stay beautiful,

Tabs

Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 336 / Originally published March 1st, 2015

There are 16 comments on this post. Leave yours.

Categories: Just For Fun, Tabs

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Comments

  1. Chris25 says

    March 1st, 2015 at 12:55 pm

    Tabs is a BOSS!
    Chris25 recently posted … NOTD: Peacock Blue & Goldie

    Reply
  2. Sandy says

    March 1st, 2015 at 1:34 pm

    I enjoy these Sundays with Tabs posts sooo much! The level of creativity and commitment that is evident in your writing is stellar. This is easily my fave blog!

    Reply
  3. Jen L says

    March 1st, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    I agree with Sandy.

    Your Tabs blogs are wonderful. My girls also patrol the yard on their strings, however if scared or in pursuit, a much stronger harness than Tabs employs must be used (this has been tested). This makes me believe that Tabs is a well behaved gentleman!

    Reply
  4. Susan T. says

    March 1st, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    What a lucky boy Tabs is to have such an awesome command center!

    Reply
  5. Kate says

    March 1st, 2015 at 2:45 pm

    Ahh, so cute

    Reply
  6. May says

    March 1st, 2015 at 3:23 pm

    “Husky frame” I just call it …MORE TO LOVE!

    Reply
  7. Jen C says

    March 1st, 2015 at 4:06 pm

    The command centre looks good! Spoken like a boss, Tabs!

    Reply
  8. Kirsten says

    March 1st, 2015 at 6:05 pm

    Your neighborhood looks so lovely! I dig all those hills and the oaks. I hope Tabs loves his new throne… er, command center. It almost looks like the Popemobile. All it needs is the car.

    Reply
  9. Chelsea says

    March 1st, 2015 at 6:15 pm

    I love him climbing the tree! I got to pet my kitty nephews today, Remington and Steele. Allergies are going crazy though from my amazing dog niece! I also met my human great niece and great nephew.

    Reply
  10. Kiss & Make-up says

    March 2nd, 2015 at 2:45 am

    Karen, would you mind clipping some of Tabs hair and sending it to me? I want to clone him. Seriously. He seems like such a FUN cat! I mean, you can take him on walks. ON WALKS!

    Loving the command center by the way. So many kittehs!
    Kiss & Make-up recently posted … Review | Covergirl Outlast All-Day Lipcolor in Natural Blush & Cherry Cordial

    Reply
  11. Ruchita says

    March 2nd, 2015 at 7:25 am

    Tabs, that command center looks so cool! How exciting for you. Mingus would love something like that. Perhaps you can share the specifications so you can have a partner in crime on the other side of the country. 🙂

    P.S. You’ll be pleased to hear that there is a hashtag on Instagram called #tabbycatworlddomination. Tabbies around the world are plotting and organizing for an eventual takeover. After naptime, of course. 🙂

    Reply
  12. Kim says

    March 2nd, 2015 at 7:51 am

    That command center is looking awesome! I see it was challenging to capture the fierce and deadly aspects of Tabs’ enemies. They must be very skilled at subterfuge. It’s really the only explanation for all of them looking so cuddly and adorable. I’m glad Tabs is not fooled. Be vigilant, Boss Tabs! 🙂

    Reply
  13. Alyssa Melanie says

    March 2nd, 2015 at 9:01 am

    You looked surprised when Tabs climbed the tree, lol! I loved watching the gif play over and over again. 😀
    Alyssa Melanie recently posted … Chanel & The Face Shop International Giveaway (March 2015)

    Reply
  14. Syah says

    March 2nd, 2015 at 9:05 am

    you understand my cat lady heart, Karen and Tabs.

    Reply
  15. Pamela Haddad says

    March 2nd, 2015 at 12:33 pm

    Tabs does well on the harness. My cat would NOT walk with it. He would crawl down the sidewalk. I didn’t even know cats could crawl. Then I would laugh so hard that I couldn’t continue. It was hysterical!

    Reply
  16. Charlotte says

    March 3rd, 2015 at 11:12 pm

    Tabs is the best, period

    Reply

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Welcome to Makeup and Beauty Blog
Hi there! I’m Karen, your friendly neighborhood beauty addict, and I’m a Bay Area girl who hoards brown eyeshadow and covets coral lipstick. Every morning, I wake up and say, “I’m going to do something other than a smoky eye today.” Then…I end up doing a smoky eye anyway (most days). When I’m not putting on makeup, taking pictures of makeup or writing about makeup, which I’ve been doing daily since 2007 (!), you’ll find me hanging out with my hubby (“El Hub”), my four-year-old daughter (Connor Claire) and my torbie girl cat (Pretty Girl Rosie, a.k.a. PGR).

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