My dearest loves of my life,
Spring is around the corner, and as I sit here atop my tower, I’m thinking about the new couch my assistant plans to purchase.
Mmm… I can’t wait. I’m already dreaming about digging my claws into its untouched fabric, leaving my scent on the pillows and luxuriating upon every cushion.
I wonder if the couch will be classified as “forbidden.” I’m hoping that it will be because that just makes my defiance all the sweeter.
I’ve also heard whispers of the carpet being replaced on the stairs… We’ll see about that. For now, the stairs remain my personal playground and the primary location where I sharpen my claws. I’ve consulted my attorneys about this, and I’m waiting for a callback as to whether I will need to pursue legal recourse.
My assistant is also planning to revitalize the surrounding grounds, including the front yard garden area. So far, I have not been consulted for architectural input, and since history has shown that any and everything in the garden exists solely for my pleasure, I find this extremely rude. I may have to escalate this.
She did, however, ask me if I would mind temporarily giving up the use of my personal lavatory during construction upgrades. I said “sure,” as long as the upgrades include the addition of a flattering full-length lighted mirror so that I’m able to admire my fur.
Lastly, this will probably be the final communique sent from this cat tower as the organization is planning the acquisition of a new cat condo next month. I made it clear that I need an elevator, but we’ll see if I get it. Paws crossed.