- You sometimes (translated = ALL THE TIME) find yourself going to the bathroom with the door open, and you have absolutely no qualms about relieving yourself in front of anyone anymore.
- You can carry on three simultaneous conversations while washing dishes, making dinner and planning out the next few steps on your conquest/world domination plan.
- You sneak in a cat nap during every single movie you go to, even the ones with your kid (or kids). It doesn’t even matter if it’s the most stressful, intense movie that’s ever been made, either. If you’re in a dark room in the middle of the day, YOU WILL FALL ASLEEP.
- You learn to accept that, on any given day and at any given time, you’re guaranteed to have some combination of dried crust on your clothes comprised of bits of snot, food or other bodily functions.
- Speaking of bodily functions, you’re no longer grossed out by them. And yes, I’m talking about NUMBER TWO. 💩 One ceases to be disgusted by it after a baby goes through the “poop is so much fun to play with!” phase, or after the umpteenth time you’re forced to rescue a toy that has been gleefully dropped into a turd-filled toilet (and it’s ALWAYS filled with turds when this happens).
- You start separating all of your black leggings (because at some point they became surgically attached to your lower half) into categories for “public leggings” and “private leggings.”
- You realize that on some days, combing your hair and (maybe) putting on a bra are the best you’re gonna do, and you know what? You’re totally fine with that.
- You 100% understand the haunted looks you see on the faces of parents with newborns when you see them moving slowly, zombie-like, as they push their carts around Target.
- Speaking of Target, one day you find yourself wistfully strolling down the diaper section, trying to remember the last time you bought a box of diapers, and wondering if you knew then that it would be the last time.
- You seriously consider contributing to the Kickstarter where someone is trying to invent a time machine, just so you can go back in time to hold your little one’s tiny baby body one more time.
- You automatically respond with either “Yes” or “Ask daddy” whenever you hear a child say, “Mama” or “Mom,” and seriously, half the time it’s not even your kid.
- You come to expect that every ice cream cone or piece of chocolate or cookie will have to be shared, so sometimes (again, ALL THE TIME), you hide in rooms when you want a sweet treat all to yourself.
- You consider it a personal victory when everyone (including yourself) is bathed and in their pajamas by 7 p.m.
OK, 6:30. 😴
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
yelena says
October 2nd, 2019 at 9:28 ami’m not a mom but I also have a separate pile of public leggings and private leggings haha
Jaclyn Levy says
October 2nd, 2019 at 10:25 amI fell asleep when my husband and I went to see Rouge One. He was mad. I was like, dude. Comfy seats, dark room, no kids. What did you expect? 😆
Carla says
October 2nd, 2019 at 11:07 amYes to all of these! Especially the one about going down the diaper aisle and wondering then if you realized it would be the last time. My kids are growing up so fast😭. And thankfully mine never went through the “it’s fun to play with poop/ throw things in the toilet” stage but my oldest did think it was fun to poop in the tub a few times! 🤢🤢
Lelde says
October 2nd, 2019 at 11:10 amYes, yes, yees! I agree with everything what you say! 🤣
I remember when I returned to work and had some business meetings and audits to participate in, I didn’t mind to wear a blouse with baby puke on it. I excused, that I’m just from maternity leave and it was completely fine😁
Being as a single mom with little baby and mixing this up with work in corporate business, I often ended up in situations that I joined to phone conferences from playground via mobile. Yeah, exactly: you bake sandcakes with one hand and hold your phone and discuss the busieness with the other hand! In other words, motherhood is a great opportunity to learn multitasking.😂
Lisa says
October 2nd, 2019 at 3:12 pmAnd you automatically turn around whenever anyone says “mommy” even if you’re alone. Or they’re teenagers….. And all shopping carts are kept gently jiggling…..
Mitzi says
October 2nd, 2019 at 3:13 pmHappy (?) memories to all those on the list LOL. Well, except for the ‘poop’ one. Thankfully my son never was enticed to try that out, nor toss his toys down the toilet, although he did like to toss his toys around in the shower (one or two – okay, maybe 4 times one of them got stuck in the drainage grate, which resulted in ‘tailless Pikachu’ or ‘armless teenage mutant ninja turtle’ haha)!
One side effect for me that really was hard was getting rid of the outgrown clothes. To this day there’s a few shirts, Halloween costumes and jackets he wore during elementary school that’s somewhere in his drawers and will never be tossed – due to mom’s sentimentality reasons. 🙂
Claudia says
October 3rd, 2019 at 4:24 amYes to all. Also, how about when you go out in public alone because daddy is watching the toddlers but yet you still unconsciously hold out your hands to be held while you walk across parking lots, sidewalks, crosswalks.
Karen says
October 3rd, 2019 at 11:38 amHaha! I’ve caught myself doing that a few times this week, Claudia!
Anne says
October 3rd, 2019 at 7:00 amI fall asleep everywhere – cinema, car seat, couch after 6 pm. As long as the kids are quiet, I zone out.
Anne recently posted … Monthly Recap September 2019
Karen says
October 3rd, 2019 at 11:38 amYES! SAME HERE!
Kim says
October 3rd, 2019 at 8:56 amI’m desperate for that time machine but I’d also invest in an attitude adjustment pill that would allow for just 5 minutes per year of carrying, hand-holding and snuggling (without the horrified look at the mere suggestion of a hug). I didn’t miss the diapers because every year was my new favorite age, until 14. HAHA!
Karen says
October 3rd, 2019 at 11:35 amI would fund the attitude adjustment pill, FOR SURE!
Kim says
October 4th, 2019 at 5:15 amI should say it more often because one of the fellas came home yesterday and the first thing he did was walk over and give me a big, long hug and say he was sorry for his attitude that morning. THAT made me tear up! 🙂 We were having problems activating his phone and he was frustrated because he’d been 2 days without one (I know, the horror, but I do get it – everyone sort of lives on their phones). Anyway, I said that *I* was sorry that I yelled. I was really angry with myself for not being able to figure out why it wasn’t working and snapped at him, and shouldn’t have. But that cloud of frustration definitely had a huggy silver lining. HAHA! And I also learned that you can revive a dead iphone by heating it with a hair dryer. So, two good things came from that. I thought it might be a bunch of bs but it actually worked. I almost shed tears of joy!! HAHA!
Jane says
October 3rd, 2019 at 10:20 amKaren, this is so true. I especially relate to #’s 9 & 10, although I walkthrough the aisle at Target where tampons are sold and think about the last time I bought a box (wait until menopause). I also would love to go back in time and throw my arms around my baby. I will get to do that in a couple of weeks at Parents Weekend!😋
Karen says
October 3rd, 2019 at 11:34 amHow’s he doing at school? And how are you adjusting, friend?
Silvia Heinrich says
October 4th, 2019 at 6:18 amSo true! Before my kids I really did not understand the toilet thing. Why leave the door open? And yes there is always something on my clothes. Combing my hair? I have short curly hair – doesn’t need combing. Today it was just washing my face, brushing my teeth and curling my lashes. And I am totally fine with it.
Trude says
October 6th, 2019 at 9:39 amYes yes and yes! It’s still the best though. I love how now just getting to shop by myself is amazing and feels super weird. What did we do before these needy clingy beings?