You guys, I think I’m ready. I think it’s finally time. I’ve been going back and forth for what feels like forever (but in reality has been about a year and a half, ha ha!) about whether to let my grays grow out, and you know…after this this last round of dying my hair and absolutely hating every second of it, I think I’m going to make the jump. I’m gonna grow out my grays.
We’ll see if I feel the same way in about two months when all of the baby hairs along my hairline are white and there’s that jarring line of demarcation where you can see the the last round of color, but I figure, if I can grow out my eyebrows, I can do anything!
And you know, it’s hair. If I’m not feeling it after I grow it out, I can always dye it back. Plus, it’s been a really, really long time since I rocked my natural hair color — more than 10 years. Shoot, maybe even 15? So it’ll be a nice change to see what my hair actually looks like in its natural state.
Knowing that I don’t plan to dye it again already feels like such a relief. What pushed me over the edge was a comment from Kristy (hey, girl!), who said…
“I’ve gone down the demi-permanent rabbit hole trying to cover grays myself, and I’ve found it to be unsustainable. It doesn’t cover the grays for long – the roots tend to fade, and the lengths just get darker and darker. I have dark hair too, and I found myself coloring almost monthly until it was just too much to take and my hair was the color of shoe polish. I don’t color anymore and I now have silver streaks, free of charge! I mean, people are paying to get gray hair! It’s a statement look for me now and I’ll never color again. I would strongly encourage anyone who is sick of covering gray to go for it. Yes, it sucks for a few months, but no one really cares (just you) and you will come out happier, stronger and more beautiful in the end!”
This got me thinking about seeing my dad’s retired friends hanging out in the neighbor’s garage. There’s always a few guys in the group with hair that just looks a little too dark, and there’s something about it that doesn’t look quite right. If I keep using the demi-permanent hair color I’ve been using, I fear that that’s where I’m headed, and I don’t wanna end up there. That’s my main motivator.
I mean, I also LOVE saving the money (my hair has always been one of my biggest beauty expenses, and I’m trying to cut back), but I also really, really hate dying my own hair. And I’m terrible at it, so there’s that, LOL!
Truth be told, I’m afraid that I’m a little too vain/unready to follow through with this and stick with it for long, but I’m going to try anyway.
Note: You may be reading a post two months from now within which I’m FREAKING OUT and renouncing the whole thing, so we’ll see. Hair, like life, is fraught with adventure, right?
Talk to me if you’ve grown out your grays. How long did it take, because by my estimates it’s going to take about a year.
Or, hmm… Maybe I’ll grow it out until the grays are chin length, then chop it into a bob?
I’ve got lots of ideas, but I’m still weighing all options.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
Pat Watters says
November 19th, 2018 at 6:49 pmMy hair is pixie short, but I no longer try even to blend my grey hairs in. I get my hair cut every 5 weeks and got to the point that each appointment was a touch up or full color. I decided that a sharp looking haircut that suits me would be my signature, grey hair or no!
Jan Kelley says
November 19th, 2018 at 6:53 pmYou are braver than I am. The grow out period scares the devil out of me. Plus I am really gray. Best of luck. Maybe you’ll inspire me.
Chelsea says
November 19th, 2018 at 6:58 pmYou’ll look amazing! Grey hair against dark looks so good.
I’m a redhead and we don’t really go grey, our hair just kind of fades until it turns white and I have no clue what I’ll do when that happens. Panic? LOL
Kate says
November 19th, 2018 at 7:16 pmI’ll be reading about your journey with anticipation! I also want to do this, but kinda don’t. If there was a way to go grey all at once, I’d do it. I think all silver is classy. I bet you’d find a way to coordinate your new look with makeup! That would be an inspiration for so many.
Rachel says
November 19th, 2018 at 7:21 pmI’m currently growing out my grays! I have light brown hair, so I’m having an easier time of it than some, the contrast isn’t too stark. I love the money and time I’m saving and I feel like I’m aging gracefully. That’s what I’m telling myself anyway. I’m especially gray at my temples and I kinda like putting my hair up to show that part off, it’s fun to be young(ish), fashionable, and have a little shock of gray at the temples. Enjoy the process! It’s fun to see the natural state of our hair.
Carrie says
November 19th, 2018 at 7:25 pmI’m a possible you-in-the-future, 18 months from now, with a natural graying bob….and I’m contemplating reverting back to my dye-ing ways.
My natural color is a kind of blah medium brown, and I’m about 10% gray (scattered, no dramatic streaks). 2 years ago, I had mid-back-length hair dyed dark brown. In pictures from the time, it looked nice! But I was really worried about being that person-with-the-obviously-dyed hair in a few years (I’m 41). To compensate, I blew a lot of money on balayage, thinking that the blonde would blend with the grays, as a transition strategy. But my hair just kinda became fried, and it drove me nuts. I chopped it off into a pixie cut to get my natural color back! Now it’s grown out to a chin-length bob.
I don’t know what I’m going to do next, but reading about your decision is making me reconsider dying it (I also hate home dying, but don’t want to spend the money and time every month at the salon). I might look into a semi-permanent gloss or glaze… hmmm!
Janet Shepherd says
November 19th, 2018 at 7:36 pmSo it’s about 5 years since I stopped colouring my hair, but I did get blonde highlights toned to match my grays, mostly because historically I’d hate the look of regrowth and I was worried that an obvious demarcation line would push me to colour my hair again.
I cut my hair to a bob at some point, then kept it short-ish until all the blonde was gone. Not gonna lie, it felt like it took forever- but my hair used to grow very slowly. It’s faster now thank goodness.
I’ve had nothing but compliments since I went natural with my hair – I’ve even had a few people ask who does my colour ? ‘umm, Mother Nature?’
Rachel says
November 19th, 2018 at 7:42 pmI’m 37 and have been dying my hair every 3 weeks for the last 5 years. I keep saying I’ll eventually let it go, but I’m probably around 60% grey (white really) with brown/black hair, so it looks so bad once it gets a couple inches out. It’s a really noticeable line, so if you’re going to do it, do it before you get as grey as me!
Jaclyn Levy says
November 19th, 2018 at 7:54 pmAlthough I’ve only dyed my hair a handful of times I started leaving in my grays out of sheer laziness and frugality. They’ve never really bothered me. in my early twenties a male co-worker of mine gleefully pointed out my grays. I responded with a shrug and a “so what?” which promptly took the wind out of his sails. As if I’d l Iet anyone shame me for having a normal body.
My sense of my beauty has never come from the color of my hair. It’s come from how I carry myself and from feeling good about myself. I truly think inner beauty emanates to the outside and it doesn’t matter how much gray you have.
One thing that’s really helped me accept it is I’ve had a couple of mature women compliment me on my grays. it felt like a rite of passage, them accepting me into future womanhood. those moments felt powerful, even sacred, and I still remember them. So if you are a mature woman reading this know that compliments like that can really help us up-and-coming women feel more at peace with our changing hair.
I recommend following a few gray haired women you admire on your Instagram feed. Constant exposure to it will help your brain register it as normal if not beautiful. It’s science!
Also I’ve been trying to train my boys to think gray hair is cool. My oldest is blond and I called him golden-haired. I told him that I have silver in my hair. He thinks that’s pretty rad.
Lastly even though I have gray hairs I’m often mistaken for someone years younger because my skin game is good. ? If you’re worried your gray hair will age you, just shift your pampering focus to your skin. It’s more fun anyway!
Mariana says
November 20th, 2018 at 3:59 amI stopped coloring my hair in my early 40s, so it wasn’t too obvious. However, I received comments such as, “Are you going to stop wearing make-up too?” (from a girlfriend). And, of course, my hair stylist tried to talk me out of it every time I went in for a cut. Then I got divorced and began dating, and my silver hair was never a problem. Women who choose not to color are brave, and if you have a good cut, you will look fabulous as your hair color will fit your face. Dark hair emphasizes lines and wrinkles (thus most women choose blonde and still continue dyeing). My pixie cut is trimmed every 5 weeks, and I get compliments all the time from strangers (men too! Many women say they wish they had the guts to do it). You, Karen, will look beautiful and different! Embrace your age, save time and money, and get ready for compliments.
Ruchita says
November 20th, 2018 at 4:55 amGood for you! I totally understand your thought process on it. Luckily it’s just hair and I think it would be easy enough to dye if you didn’t want to let it grow out completely. And there’s nothing wrong with that!
I think these days you can get a natural looking dye job without it looking obvious.
I just started getting my hair colored professionally about a year ago. I have never done any color before that. I did it to cover up the grays. Mine are just random strands throughout my hair and I just wanted a more consistent, even look. Maybe as they start growing in thicker I will consider whether or not I want to grow them out.
Good luck with your journey!
Linda Libra Loca says
November 20th, 2018 at 6:55 amI just discovered grey streaks in my hair a few days ago, after not going to the hair dresser in months, and decided to let them be. It is easier for me though, as I am ash blonde. The greys blend right in.
Linda Libra Loca recently posted … Skincare gift guide for mature skin
Michele DiCola says
November 20th, 2018 at 8:54 amBrave girl you are !
I’m looking at 70 Dec 6 and still have few gray hairs but just enough to make me look tired and haggard !
I use Madison Reed a European based hair color. They have many hair colors and fillers to cover gray .
Erin says
November 20th, 2018 at 8:55 amIt took just under 2 years to get rid of all the colored hair. I am allergic to store bought color and don’t want to spend the time/money at the salon. I get compliments on my hair but the texture has also changed and it drives me crazy. I tried a smoothing gloss and it just lightened my hair, which I did not want. So I’m learning to live with the new hair I have. Some days are great and other days…a pony just looks awful. I need to stop pulling it back for awhile.
Jane says
November 20th, 2018 at 10:37 amSo I stopped covering my grey hair for about a year now and the grey hairs are gaining momentum. As I approach 60 in 2019 my motto is “grey gracefully”. My advice to is that you do you!
Be well and Happy Thanksgiving! We just got invited to our friends house across the street for the holiday, so no major cooking. Just making my stuffed mushrooms and bringing an apple pie!
Tracy says
November 20th, 2018 at 12:06 pmI’ve switched to only coloring the front bits of my hair, where my bangs and front layers are, and letting the rest grow out. Been doing this for a couple of months, and so far it seems ok. I feel like most of my grays are in my front areas anyway. Main reason I started doing it this way was I was hating how dry my ends were getting with the coloring on the long ends, so if I leave that natural hopefully they won’t be as dry, and the much shorter pieces that get colored often near my face don’t grow long enough to get that dry. I also switched to a more medium darkish brown, although my natural hair color is very dark brown, almost black, so it doesn’t look as stark on me. I’ve only been doing this for a few months, but so far so good.
I thought about letting it all grow out, until I saw just how gray the hair around my face was, haha. I’m not ready for that level of gray yet!
A co-worker, who went gray very young (she’s not even 30), was dying her hair black and then switched it out to let it grow out. She went to a salon and got a woman to pull the black color out of her hair (this took several visits I believe) and then while it was growing out she dyed her hair blue and then purple to sort of hide the growing out demarcation and also have some fun. Now her hair is totally natural and very gray, it’s interesting to see it on someone with a young face (and obviously not dyed to be gray, as her hair is salt and pepper).
Daphne B says
November 20th, 2018 at 12:10 pmI got sick of coloring my hair, too. Also, I had tried several different shades over time, so I needed to let it all grow out and see what color my hair really was. I was surprised there was not much grey, except at the roots (the baby hairs you mentioned) But my hair looked dull all one color. I have always heard that as you age, you should go lighter, so rather that color my hair a solid color, I let the stylist who has been cutting my hair for years put highlights in (because I was warned not to do this myself). It looked much better, and it is much easier to grow out. It does not cover all the grey, but it makes it look much less obvious, and it still looks natural. So if you decide you cannot handle growing out your hair, you might consider highlights instead. ( although I admit, it is expensive).
kellly says
November 20th, 2018 at 12:13 pmI grew mine out about 5 (?) years ago now, and don’t regret it for a minute. I was curious to see how it would look and it spares me having to mess with coloring it all the time. People compliment me on my hair all the time and it’s not such a nuisance to keep coloring it.
I changed some 0f how I do my makeup now because of the different color/contrast with my hair being gray. It’s a lot lighter in front than it is in the back but unless I’m trying to see the back in a mirror, I don’t see it so I don’t care!!
Tatiana says
November 20th, 2018 at 12:18 pmOK, if that photo is actually what your roots look like, you don’t have many gray hairs. Just go for it. It really isn’t that bad growing it out. Nobody really notices. (I’m convinced the whole human population is self absorbed and dealing with their own issues) I’m sitting here on the gray side of the fence with open, welcoming arms. And if you decide to go back to coloring your hair, I won’t judge.
Remember no matter which way your hair goes, you are gorgeous through and through.
Jennifer says
November 20th, 2018 at 12:34 pmSo many feels about this, mainly, yes it’s your hair do with it what you will but I think you’re way too young to be letting grays show. That may not be a politically correct thing to say but that’s what I think.
I’m older than you–on the cusp of 49–and I’m still covering my grays. I plan to do so for many more years.
I hear you about the shoe polish effect but if you’re seeing a decent hairstylist, that shouldn’t happen. My lady hits the roots and leaves the rest pretty much alone.
There’s a little group of women in my very small town who are all in their thirties, maybe early 40’s and they’ve let their hair go all gray. I don’t like it. I think they are way too young to be looking so old. I think the gray really ages them.
p.s. I’m donning a ballistic vest because I’m sure there are some people out in the internet who will take offense to what I’ve said.
Jennifer recently posted … Holiday Wine: Vinho Verde
bisbee says
November 20th, 2018 at 1:22 pmI’m 67 and still coloring. Karen, you have just a light sprinkling of grey…grow it out and see how you feel.
I am probably 85% grey. I get my roots done once a month in the salon, and in between I color the roots near my part and on the sides at home. I’m not ready to stop, although I know a lot of women have.
Jennifer, I disagree…older women (like me) tend to look older with grey hair. Younger women like Karen don’t really have the same problem. I would look older if I stopped…Karen really doesn’t have to worry about that!
JENNIFER R OSBORN says
November 21st, 2018 at 6:19 amBisbee! You’re 67 and still coloring, you are my hero! My mom is about your age, give or take a year. She still colors too.
bella says
November 21st, 2018 at 12:54 pmI agree with you. Whenever you see someone young (30’s) I think it makes them look older.
I am not going ” gently into the night”and I think ageism is alive and well.
Lisa says
November 20th, 2018 at 1:34 pmI started growing my hair out in 2014 and I have never regretted it!
My hair started greying in my late 20’s (I’m 54 now) and I just kept dying and re-dying, and it got to the point that I had little star twinkles of grey at the roots just days after I would color. I remember a friend asking what it would look like and I remember laughing and saying, that you’ll find out when I do. I get tons of compliments and a few people think that I’ve actually dyed it this way! ( I always tell ’em, nope I’m just kinda old!) I really think that you won’t regret this. And actually I think it’s gonna be positively stunning!
Lisa says
November 20th, 2018 at 1:46 pmOooo I’m replying to myself to add that violet shampoo is your best friend! I lather up with it in the shower a few times a month to refresh the silver and keep from yellowing. It’s just a shampoo that I leave on for 5 minutes and it’s a lot easier than sitting in the stylists chair (and a lot cheaper!) I get it at Walgreens.
Janine says
November 20th, 2018 at 2:00 pmI’ve let mine grow out since April. The worst part is the texture of some of those greys. I have a lot around my temples and in front of my eyes there are these hairs that stick out perpendicular like wings. If my hair is pulled back or not.
Most of my greys on top are in the back. But it’s all coming in. I’m thinking of getting it colored again or maybe some lowlights or highlights to camouflage.
The worst is after dyeing in 2 weeks I see that white peeking out above my ear…hard to hide and it seems like it glows in the dark. I try using powder but it’s insidious!
Adriana RP says
November 21st, 2018 at 11:28 amIt is a great news Karen… I have a friend that has their grey hair since a couple of years now, and after talk to her I decided to leave mine grey hair grow this year.
It is hard at the beginning, but totally worthwhile. Go for it!!!
Karen says
November 21st, 2018 at 12:03 pmHi Adriana,
I’d love to hear about your hair journey so far! How many months has it been since you’ve colored your hair? What helped you get through those first couple months?
Adriana says
November 21st, 2018 at 4:37 pmI started to leave my “grey journey” on June… I can say that now is much easier than on the beginning. I used to have some grey hair “pointing up” on the top of my head… Gosh! it was the worst part… My trick was do a ponytail and “make up” my gray enemies with hair balm to set it down. After this it was easier, now I think the grey a kind of charming, something like X-men style (crazy nerd! LOL).
Briana says
November 23rd, 2018 at 9:38 pmOMG, yes! I quit coloring in January 2017. My hair was really long. I hadn’t been happy with the past few professional colors I’d had, and I was tired of the expense, and didn’t want to color at home anymore. I’ll be honest, it looked pretty crappy for a while. Not the greys, they looked fine. But the ends, which I should have been trimming regularly to get rid of the last brassy bits, looked really crappy. My hair grows pretty slow, but by the spring of 2018 it had grown out to just past chin length. At that point I decided I was done with long hair and cut off 24 inches. I have a pixie cut now, and I love my greys! They add texture to otherwise pretty boring brown, and I think they look cool, and my hair has never felt healthier and stronger. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to coloring again. Now, my next goal, is to tolerate the crappy growing out phase and see if I can pull off a bob!
Briana recently posted … A Reminder
Briana says
November 23rd, 2018 at 9:38 pmOMG, yes! I quit coloring in January 2017. My hair was really long. I hadn’t been happy with the past few professional colors I’d had, and I was tired of the expense, and didn’t want to color at home anymore. I’ll be honest, it looked pretty crappy for a while. Not the greys, they looked fine. But the ends, which I should have been trimming regularly to get rid of the last brassy bits, looked really crappy. My hair grows pretty slow, but by the spring of 2018 it had grown out to just past chin length. At that point I decided I was done with long hair and cut off 24 inches. I have a pixie cut now, and I love my greys! They add texture to otherwise pretty boring brown, and I think they look cool, and my hair has never felt healthier and stronger. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to coloring again. Now, my next goal, is to tolerate the crappy growing out phase and see if I can pull off a chin-length bob!
Briana says
November 23rd, 2018 at 9:46 pmOh dear, no idea why it posted twice! Sorry!
Kristy says
November 26th, 2018 at 7:28 pmLOL Karen I’m so happy for you! Of course, if you cave I won’t judge. Once you get past the 6-8 month mark though, when you get enough gray that you can tuck it behind your ears so that it frames your face, you’ll be good to go. My inspiration was definitely Sarah Harris from British Vogue. She is just impossibly edgy and chic, with super long gray hair. If you get regular trims and keep your hair well conditioned you can rock any style. You will get compliments, many from men, who I guess respond more to confidence than to hair color. My husband’s reaction when I decided to stop coloring was “I don’t know why you even did that anyway.” Food for thought.
Jennifer says
November 28th, 2018 at 1:10 amI’m 46 and haven’t seen my natural hair color since high school. It is so funny you wrote this article because I have just decided to let my grays grow in too. I’m so tired of slapping hair color on! A guy at work told me the other day the gray hairs looked “sexy” and it made me look more mature in a good way. I’m embracing the new look and I’m really starting to feel it now, and I am feeling SEXIER with my new gray hairs!