Tabs

I’m sitting here with a cup of green tea 🍵 in my hand and trying to figure out how to start this post, so I’ll start with some things that I know to be true.

1. Tomorrow (Monday) will mark one week since Tabs took his final runway walk.
2. I can’t say that I’m anywhere near feeling like my usual self again, but every day I hurt a little less.
3. Today I put on mascara for the first time in weeks.

And blush.

And concealer. (I would like to think Tabs would be proud.)

I may even paint my nails tonight. Chanel, of course — in honor of my husky ball of love.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there — cat moms, dog moms, bird moms, snake moms, gerbil moms, little monster moms and moms to humans.

I debated whether I should change the title of this post and the entire series from “Sundays With Tabs” to “Sundays Without Tabs,” but for now I’m going to keep it “Sundays With Tabs,” because, in his own way, he’s still with me.

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Meow, gorgeous. I just wanted to give you my deepest thanks for treating me like such a superstar over the years. You always made me feel lucky and special.

Have a spectacular week. Please be kind to yourself and to others, don’t sweat the small stuff, keep your eye on the prize, and be fabulous.

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This is very hard to do, and I’m trying to do it without falling apart, but I can’t guarantee that I won’t…

If you’ve been with MBB since the beginning, you know that one of the cornerstones of the blog is Tabs, our — and I mean our as in all of us — our sweet, sassy kitty model extraordinaire.

There’s no easy way to tell you this, but my constant companion for the last 12 years will soon be leaving this earth.

We got news from the vet last week that Tabs has terminal cancer, and that if we’re lucky, he’ll be with us for anywhere from three to six weeks.

Not even that is a guarantee, though. He could be here for a day, two days… I just don’t know. And it’s been difficult to process all of this. On one hand, part of me wants to say, “You sweet, sweet cat. You came home to say goodbye to us and to let us have more time with you, and even as you’re on the kitty runway to heaven, you’re allowing me, El Hub, Connor and all of your fans to spend a little extra time with you, and to try to fathom how it’s going to be when you’re gone, just to allow us to love you a little bit longer.”

I can’t believe that this cat who has taught me so many things about love, and the unconditional giving of love, is still teaching me things… How to grieve and how to mourn.

The following pics were taken today on our morning walk.

I read somewhere once that grief is a lot like standing on the shore of the ocean when the tide is high and the waves pummel you over and over again. You don’t know if you’re going to drown, and then when the tide goes out, occasionally, it’ll touch you and your toes. Then, when it’s really far out but your feet are still wet, and you barely perceive it?

That’s what I’ve been feeling for the past few days. It alternates between the sense of dread of knowing that the house will be empty without him, but knowing how it’ll feel, if that makes any sense…

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Tabs was fit to be tied this morning!

(Happy 🐇 Easter, by the way.)

When his fur stylist didn’t show up for work today, Tabs took it upon himself to head over to her house to demand her professional attention, but she wouldn’t even answer the door. She was also in violation of basic cat assistant construction etiquette by installing her doorbell more than 24 inches off the ground, but I digress…

We’ve said it a thousand times before, but it’s so true. Good help is hard to find, especially help that will show up to work at the crack of dawn on Easter Sunday.

Despite his fur stylist’s poor work ethic, Tabs still dazzled the neighborhood this morning and strutted his stuff in his latest custom couture creation, the Easter Springtime Delights kitty collar.

Year after year, he continues to stun.

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