With summer and lighter clothing right around the corner, my never-ending battle against excess fur kicks into overdrive this weekend. Not only have I been too lazy to wax, but I hate shaving. That, and I don’t have the pain tolerance for laser hair removal. Avoidance of hair removal = furry Karen. I’m a straight-up YETI right now.
But I’ve reached my limits; I’ve hit the hairy wall. It’s time to deal with this fur situation one way or another.
YOU MUST CHOOSE! — the Sasquatch Edition.
Sasquatch Situation #1
Would you rather 1) have a really hairy bum (I’m talking shag carpet hairy), or 2) no eyebrows? YOU MUST CHOOSE!
Sasquatch Situation #2
You finally meet your dream boy. He’s perfect in every way … except for one little hair issue. Unfortunately, he’s inherited a rare disease which causes hair to grow unchecked in specific places. Waxing, shaving — NOTHING stops it from growing, and when his hair gets removed, it instantly reappears. Poof!
If you could choose which parts of his body exhibited the disease, would you rather they be 1) his nose and ears, or 2) his back (where you could braid it for him)? YOU MUST CHOOSE!
Sasquatch Situation #3
It’s time for a haircut, so you head to your favorite stylist’s chair for summer bee-yoo-ti-ficatin. Sadly, your stylist has just switched meds, and he frequently falls a little off his rocker. He handcuffs you to the chair and proclaims you his hostage!