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Meow, gorgeous. I just wanted to give you my deepest thanks for treating me like such a superstar over the years. You always made me feel lucky and special.
Have a spectacular week. Please be kind to yourself and to others, don’t sweat the small stuff, keep your eye on the prize, and be fabulous.
Hi, friends. It’s a beautiful day to 1) HUG YOUR LOVED ONES and 2) do your nails (I’m about to do both). Just a quick reminder. 🙂
Short and sweet Saturday Surfing “hello” this morning because I have important work to do. (Hint: It involves giving one retired kitty supermodel unlimited lap time and lurvies.) Today I’ll be horizontal, on the couch, with a free and open tummy, chest and my right shoulder (always the right) so that Tabs can purr, hug and make as many biscuits as he pleases. There will also probably be lots of terrible Bravo and Lifetime television up in the mix.
Thank you for all your support and kindness for the past week. Sending you so much love from me and my tabby boy.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
P.S. Circa 2014, at the pinnacle of his kitty modeling greatness.
Tabs: “Don’t you do it. Don’t cry.”
Me: *sniffs* “But what if this is our last photo shoot together?”
Tabs: “Then you should probably wear Chanel. It’s the right thing to do.”
Me: “I’m really trying not to cry but…”
Tabs: “No buts, lady. Think about all of the pics we’ve taken together over the years. How many have there been? Thousands? Tens of thousands? Think about how lucky we’ve — no, how lucky you’ve been to have me in all those pics, because, quite frankly, your poses are hella boring. You’re kind of a hot mess…”
Me: “Oh, man. I’m gonna miss you so much.”
Tabs: “Will you promise me something?”
Me: “Anything.”
Tabs: “Promise me you won’t let grief consume you. Because I know you. I KNOW YOU. And you can’t let that happen. Under any circumstances.”
Me: “I can’t guarantee that, my love.”
Tabs: “You’re going to have to be brave. When I’m gone, you’re going to get out of bed in the morning, comb your fur, get out of your pajamas, and maybe put on a little makeup. Every single day. Most importantly, I want you to smile.”
Me: “People will judge me for grieving too much or too little, for sharing too much or too little, for being weird…”
Tabs: “Kid, I thought you were tougher than that.”
Me: “Apparently, I’m not.”
Tabs: *sigh* “Look, here’s the deal: I’m leaving soon, and I’m sorry but that’s the reality. You’re going to have to keep going, and I want you to do it with love in your heart. If there’s anything I’ve taught you, I hope it’s that. Radiate love, and send your joy out into the world.”
Me: “I’ll do my best…”
Tabs: “That’s all any of us can do. Now, will you smile for me? Let’s play some music, take pictures and enjoy the day.”
Me: “That sounds like a good idea.”
Makeup I’m wearing in these pics…
- Chanel Les Beiges Water Fresh Tint in Medium Plus
- Wander Beauty Nude Illusion Liquid Foundation in Golden Tan
- Chanel Natural Finish Loose Powder in Translucent 3
- bareMinerals Endless Summer Bronzer in Warmth
- bareMinerals Endless Glow Highlighter in Fierce
- MAC Sheertone Blush in Gingerly
- Wander Beauty Mile High Club Mascara
- Chantecaille Mermaid Eye Matte in Bee
- Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in Chaos
- MAC Cicero Full Face Kit (blue eyeshadow)
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict(s),
Karen and Tabs
Thank you all so much for your sweet and kind words yesterday. Both Tabs and I can feel your love on this side of the keyboard. ❤️
One of the weirdest things I’ve learned about grief over the past few days is that no matter how monumental a shift in your world feels, no matter how massively your reality changes, life, with all of its needs and wants (bill “due by” dates, meals to be made, plants that need to be watered, pajamas that need to be changed) keeps “keeping on.”
It’s odd to move through my same routine while having everything changed around me so profoundly…
It’s also strange to have my heart feel so heavy, and then have these moments here and there when it feels weightless and so, so full of love. Like yesterday evening, Tabs and I sat on my bed and watched the sunset together for a few minutes.
I felt so much joy. 😊
It feels very odd to have these two seemingly opposite feelings exist together at the same time.
Gonna try my best to keep on keeping on this week. Lots of hugs and love, my friend.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
This is very hard to do, and I’m trying to do it without falling apart, but I can’t guarantee that I won’t…
If you’ve been with MBB since the beginning, you know that one of the cornerstones of the blog is Tabs, our — and I mean our as in all of us — our sweet, sassy kitty model extraordinaire.
There’s no easy way to tell you this, but my constant companion for the last 12 years will soon be leaving this earth.
We got news from the vet last week that Tabs has terminal cancer, and that if we’re lucky, he’ll be with us for anywhere from three to six weeks.
Not even that is a guarantee, though. He could be here for a day, two days… I just don’t know. And it’s been difficult to process all of this. On one hand, part of me wants to say, “You sweet, sweet cat. You came home to say goodbye to us and to let us have more time with you, and even as you’re on the kitty runway to heaven, you’re allowing me, El Hub, Connor and all of your fans to spend a little extra time with you, and to try to fathom how it’s going to be when you’re gone, just to allow us to love you a little bit longer.”
I can’t believe that this cat who has taught me so many things about love, and the unconditional giving of love, is still teaching me things… How to grieve and how to mourn.
The following pics were taken today on our morning walk.
I read somewhere once that grief is a lot like standing on the shore of the ocean when the tide is high and the waves pummel you over and over again. You don’t know if you’re going to drown, and then when the tide goes out, occasionally, it’ll touch you and your toes. Then, when it’s really far out but your feet are still wet, and you barely perceive it?
That’s what I’ve been feeling for the past few days. It alternates between the sense of dread of knowing that the house will be empty without him, but knowing how it’ll feel, if that makes any sense…
