Hair

Grays Gone Wild

May 21st, 2019 by Karen 14 Comments

r co bel air smoothing shampoo — Smoooove moves

It’s always funny to me to hear myself say this out loud: “Growing out your grays is hard.” Because it’s not like you’re running a marathon or anything. You’re literally just existing! But it really is difficult, and of the many challenges one endures when growing out their grays (and there are indeed many!), I think one of the hardest is adjusting to the new texture.

My grays have a completely different texture than the rest of my hair. They’re coarser, rougher, bumpier… LOL. I wish you could see this weird little hand wave move I just did with my left hand when I said “bumpier.”

Oh, Karen, you’re such a weirdo. 😂

As I was saying, I call my grays my “ramen noodle hairs” because the wiriest of the bunch look like a block of dry, crispy dehydrated noodles.

So…what’s up with that? According to Jay Kushner, Senior Stylist and Director of Stylist Education at Joseph Cozza Salon in San Francisco, “The texture change when trying to embrace your natural gray hair can be a bit of a challenge for most people…it manages differently. As we age, a reduction of melanin (the pigment which puts color in hair) and sebum (the moisturizing oil secreted from the scalp) can contribute to the hair becoming more dry, coarse and wiry.”

To help you tame your hair’s texture, Jay recommends using an oil-based shampoo, conditioner and mask, as they usually work well because they’re moisturizing, softening and smoothing, and he likes Iles Formula Shampoo ($35), Conditioner ($41) and Mask ($67).

And for styling, he suggests sticking to cremes and oils, “which will soften and calm the texture even more,” and recommends steering clear of mousses, gels and beach salt sprays because they tend to make dry texture even drier.

Of course, what you should use ultimately depends on your individual hair and hair texture. About gray hair, Maya Lowe Batki, the stylist who did my big chop the other week, says that “It can get curlier. It can get straighter. It can get finer. Everybody’s gray is different, but texture change is a common thing.”

Maya recommends experimenting with different moisturizing products, and generally, when you’re applying them to your hair, try not get too close to your scalp, because that can lead to your hair looking and feeling heavy and weighed down.

So, over the past couple of weeks, I’ve upped the moisture considerably by alternating between using a moisturizing hair oil with an uber-hydrating leave-in conditioner (this silicone-free one by Kerastase has been my jam lately because it’s hydrating but isn’t heavy or greasy), which I use on damp hair after I get out of the shower.
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The Big Chop

May 21st, 2019 by Karen 56 Comments

new haircut may 2019 — Choppity-chop-chop

You know how when you get a new haircut, it takes a while for it to “settle in”? (I make it sound like moving into a new neighborhood or starting a new job, hahaha.)

But you know how there’s usually that period right after a new cut when you and the new hair are getting to know each other better on your way to eventually figuring each other out?

Well, mine’s finally settled in, and I love it.

It feels so great having hair graze my shoulders again and not feel like it’s just in the way. It’s also really nice to have an actual style again, too. I finally feel like my hair isn’t in transition to something or somewhere in the between stages. It’s like, finally! — I’ve made it to point B.

The style is called a long bob, or a “lob” for short. There’s a little bit of layering, but not a whole lot, and that’s on purpose. I have a slight wave on the top layers, and I know from having many, many terrible haircuts that if there are too many layers when my hair is shoulder length or shorter, I end up with an unintentional mullet.

Side note: If you’re gonna rock a mullet, best be damn sure it’s intentional; otherwise, you’re in for a world of hurt. I’M JUST SAYING.

If you have wavy, textured or curly hair and you’re thinking about chopping off a significant amount, I think it helps to consider these few things…

1. Squirrel away 4-6 inspirational photos (not just one!)

First, before you do the deed, it helps to collect a few style inspo pics on your phone or torn from magazines.

I repeat: not just one. I think the sweet spot is between 4-6 pics, all on different people, and all with a similar vibe.

Why so specific, K-Dawg?

Because this way both you and the stylist can more easily identify what it is exactly about the style that you like.

I think it’s also key to remember that if you’re giving a stylist examples of someone else’s work, they’re going to interpret the haircut in their own way. Hair stylists are artists, after all, and each person will put their own stamp and special sauce on the cut.

These are the pics I brought to my appointment. They’re all by Sal Salcedo, a stylist in Southern California I found on Instagram.

2. Jot down everything you know (and want your stylist to know) about your hair

Unfortunately, this is a lesson I learned the hard way over the course of many terrible haircuts!

So…your stylist can’t read your mind.

SURPRISE!

And just because you give them a few pics doesn’t mean that’s what you’ll end up with. In my experience, the more information I give a stylist about my hair and how it behaves, the better off I’ll be in the end.

You can bring a Post-It, or type everything into the Notes app on your phone.

Here’s the list I took to my appointment…
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When Was the Last Time You Made a Spur-of-the-Moment Beauty Decision?

May 15th, 2019 by Karen 33 Comments

The time: last week.

The place: a local salon (but not my usual one).

I made a last-minute appointment, walked in, plopped down into the chair and asked the stylist to go to town. It was the most hair I’ve had cut in five years.

I’d actually been ruminating on doing something like this for a while, and I think that Tabs passing pushed me over the edge. (The whole “saying goodbye and moving into a different stage of life” thing.)

Also, I’d gotten to the point where I reached “mean piano teacher status,” and when you hit that level, it’s time to choppity-chop that hair.

I’ve basically been ignoring my hair for six or seven months. Honestly, I can’t even remember the last time I got a trim. I really couldn’t wear it down anymore because of how unruly it had become, and whenever I did try to “style it,” I’d just slick down the front and pull the rest into a tight ponytail or bun.

In my head, I was going for Vogue chic, but I think it made me look more severe and serious than I think I am…or at least want to be.

I’ll post a pic soon… I want to show you the hair, but I’m not quite there yet in terms of seeing myself in pics. For some reason, it’s my eyes. I still see a sad person staring back at me when I look at pics of myself.

Hard to explain.

I’ll try soon.

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

Growing Out My Grays: Chapter 3

April 23rd, 2019 by Karen 30 Comments

salt and pepper hair april 2019 — Six months in

Next week, I’ll officially be six months into “The Journey to Grow Out My Grays,” and let me tell you…it’s been hard! It’s been even tougher than growing out my brows, which is sort of counter-intuitive, right? Because I’m not actually doing anything… The hair is doing all the work. I’m just living my life, but dang if it hasn’t been a test of will and a test of my mental state.

Ah, man!

The Journey to Grow Out My Grays

Growing Out My Grays: Chapter 1
Growing Out My Grays: Chapter 2
Frivolous Friday Chit Chat: Growing Out Gray Hair, J. Lo Makin’ Me Want to Go to Pilates Every Day, and Blending Boot Camp
Is There a Graceful Way to Go Gray?

Yet again, I came *this close* to dying my hair, because, to be honest, I’m still not loving it… I don’t want to say that I “hate” it, because there are definitely some aspects that I like, like the freedom from not feeling like I have to go get my roots done every few weeks, and not always feeling like my hair is in a transitional state. I like feeling that my hair just is what it is, you know? This is the color, this is what it looks like now, and I don’t have to maintain it. I don’t have to spend the money, time or effort making it into something it isn’t.

That’s been liberating…

But there are other things I still… I really, really don’t want to say “hate,” because it’s such a strong word, and this is my body. I don’t want to hate anything about my body. Plus, hair is just the frosting, right? It’s just the outside stuff. I tell Connor this all the time: “It’s what’s in your heart that matters. What’s inside determines your worth.”

I know these things are true.

But then I see myself in the mirror, and the person looking back at me doesn’t look like the person I grew up with. I’ve cried more than a few times over the past few weeks. It’s hard for me to say that, but it’s true. Because I really am not loving how I look with salt and pepper hair.

Connor and I took this selfie at an Easter egg hunt last weekend, and I’m almost full-on gray now.

At this point, I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to keep doing this experiment. At the start, I told myself that I was gonna go at least six months… I may try for eight, or I may walk into a rand-o salon this afternoon and walk out with pink hair! It could go either way.

What have I learned so far? Well, some of the best advice I’ve gotten was from a friend who grew out her grays last year, and she said, “I oil the crap outta my hair.”

You know what? That has been really helpful, especially since my hair has gotten progressively coarser as I’ve gone more gray.

The more oil I work into it (I do it when my hair is damp, right after I get out of the shower), the better off I am. My hair feels less crunchy, the grays are less unruly, and they’re generally better behaved.

Also, and I don’t know if this is considered kosher, but it’s been helping me out, sooo…when I do my hair, and I’m doing my best to tame the flyaways, if there are any rogue hairs that simply refuse to bend to my will, I freakin’ pluck them out, man!
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Budget Beauty for $10 or Less: Hask Hair Masks

April 11th, 2019 by Karen 24 Comments

Hooray for budget beauty! In this new series, we talk about sweet finds you can get for $10 or less.

You guys! I’m sitting here running my fingers through my hair thinking, “All this softness for $1.99. ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY NINE PENNIES,” because last night I did a Hask hair mask. They have a few different versions, and I used the Coconut Oil one. Now my hair feels silky soft, but not in the way that feels like your hair is coated in sedimentary layers of silicone… The tangles and knots are gone, and the obnoxious white ramen noodle flyaways in my hairline — which normally stick up at every unfortunate angle you can imagine — are relatively tame and smooth and lying in one direction (SAY WHAT?!).

Inactive ingredients
Aqua/Water/Eau, Cetearyl Alcohol, Cetrimonium Chloride, Quaternium-18, Gardenia Taitensis (Monoi) Flower Extract, Cocos Nucifera (Coconut) Oil, Linum Usitatissimum (Linseed) Seed Oil, Vaccinium Myrtillus (Bilberry) Fruit Extract, Glycerin, Hydrolyzed Collagen, Hydrolyzed Keratin, Panthenyl Hydroxypropyl Steardimonium Chloride, Isopropyl Palmitate, Sodium Lauroyl Oat Amino Acids, Silk Amino Acids, Sodium Pca, Tetrasodium Edta, Citric Acid, Phenoxyethanol, Benzyl Alcohol, Chlorphenesin, Ethylhexylglycerin, Potassium Sorbate, Sodium Benzoate, Sodium Hydroxide, Parfum/Fragrance

If your hair is feeling dry and/or in need of some serious TLC, all you need is 10 minutes and a generous coating of this thick conditioner. I’ve got a lot of’ mane at the moment (Side note: Please talk me out of chopping it all off into a bob because I’m THIS CLOSE.), and I get about three uses from each package. If you buy them at Target, they’re $1.99 a pack (a little more expensive at Ulta: $2.99).

Maaaaaan. If Hask sold this by the gallon, I’d spring for one, for sure. It’s also cruelty-free and doesn’t have any sulfates, parabens, phthalates, gluten, alcohol or artificial colors.

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen