Tag: essie

The Essie Summer 2012 Bikini So Teeny Collection and Life Lesson No. 389

Published in: Essie, Nails, Product Reviews

essie summer 2012

Life lesson No. 389, or “When not to wear a teeny bikini”

Dear Self,

Please note that wearing a teeny bikini is perfectly fine when you’re posting up in a beach chair or chilling on a towel on the sand, and for such occasions, Tabs also offers the following advice: 1) suck in your tum when the paparazzi stop by, and 2) always apply sunscreen liberally to your bum.

essie bikini so teeny

Also, it should be noted that teeny bikinis aren’t great apparel choices if you plan to go surfing.

Should your tiny triangle top get knocked off as you try to catch that six-foot wave you/I foolishly thought you could handle (FYI: you are so NOT ready for that jelly), hilarity will almost definitely ensue. 🙂

It takes great skill to keep a long board from floating away while simultaneously searching for a missing bikini top in the surf, without flashing everyone on the beach.

You may consider yourself a fairly coordinated person, but few among us are coordinated enough for this.

Perhaps this summer, if/when you get the urge to go surfing in a teeny bikini, reach for Essie’s Bikini So Teeny Summer 2012 nail polishes instead ($8 each; available now at select salons and beauty supply stores).

essie bikini so teeny

That way, while you’re bobbing on your board in your sporty two-piece, waiting for the next set of waves to come in, you’ll be able to admire sky blue Bikini So Teeny, shimmery carnation pink Cascade Cool, molten bronze All Tied Up, creamy hot pink Off the Shoulder, creamy orange Fear or Desire, or creamy Mojito Madness on your fingers and toes, basking in the knowledge that no one will accidentally see your boobies today.

Two coats of these juicy, sumptuous colors should do ya just fine…

essie off the shoulder
Off the Shoulder
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BOOM! These Neon Nails Hit Me Like a Ton of Bricks, or a Bright Orange Bazooka: The Essie Poppy Razzi Nail Polish Collection for Summer 2012

Published in: Collections, Essie, Nails, Product Reviews

essie poppy razzi

Lights, Camera, Action…Bazooka?

LOL! Which one of these things is doin’ its own thing? Maybe someday I’ll figure out what Bazooka, one of four bright shades in Essie’s Poppy Razzi release for summer 2012, is doing in this collection, but until then I’ll just try to enjoy the neon-ness of it all.

Why a bazooka?

Lights (an electric pink), Camera (a brilliant coral), Action (a vibrant orange) and Bazooka (a bright orange) — again, Bazooka? What am I missing?? — are darn near picture-perfect summer shades. All four apply smoothly from my cuticles to nail tips, despite having a formula on the thicker side, which is pretty typical, from my experience, of Essie polishes.

All I need is one coat of Camera (my fave!) or two of Bazooka and Lights. Action, however, likes being babied. It goes on a little streaky, so I usually apply a third coat.

With a good base and top coat, I can get a solid seven days (at least) from these before any signs of chipping.

essie lights

essie camera

essie action
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