Your favorite bakery. A bell dangling over the door jingles as you enter into a world of candy sprinkles and fresh baked bread. Like a character in a cartoon, your eyes practically double in size when they see the row upon row of full-size and miniature cupcakes, all of them decorated and carefully arranged, behind a glass display case.
An unintelligible noise escapes your lips as you drift into a trance. Nnngggh… Driven by the sights and smells around you, you lumber up to the counter, dragging your feet along the polished tile floor. You order a red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting, and gobble the whole thing down, right then and there, before the salesperson can even hand you your change (um, yes, I have done this before).
“Oh,” she says, a little embarrassed for you.
Tom Ford Beauty’s new Lip Color in Aphrodisiac ($48) is kinda like the makeup equivalent of that.
There’s something about this intense fuchsia, with its creamy texture and satiny finish, that makes me think of an all-you-can-eat cupcake buffet, where I get to devour dozens of rich, indulgent cupcakes without upsetting my muffin top.
Vivid fuchsia lippies like this one always light my fire because they make bright, polished looks so incredibly easy. A little liner, some mascara, a bright blush (Tom Ford’s Narcissist, perhaps?) and one layer of lipstick, and I’m ready for almost —
HOLY MOTHER OF TABS! $48?! Are you kidding me?!
Yes, ma’am, in this case, that ease of use also costs an arm and a leg (seriously, Tom, have you ever heard of a sale?).
To its credit, though, Aphrodisiac does seem pretty special for a fuchsia lip product; it’s probably one of the smoothest, most pigmented lippies I’ve ever worn.
Somehow, even when my lips are dry, gnarly and totally ewww, Aphrodisiac still manages to look and feel smooth…
Smooth like Jeremy Renner pouring you a glass of red wine after a candlelit dinner at home and firing up his Jodeci mid-’90s slow jams playlist.
(Gurl, you know that would be pretty damn smooth.)
On top of everything else — on top of the cupcakes and the candlelit dinner with Jeremy Renner and the Jodeci playlist — Aphrodisiac doesn’t seem garish to me at all. It’s like, cultured and stuff. Like it’s waiting to be worn to a fabulous Parisian cocktail party, with you wearing your fiercest cat eyeliner, sleekest black shift dress and a single strand of pearls (werk!).
AVAILABILITY: Available now at Neiman Marcus stores and neimanmarcus.com
MAKEUP AND BEAUTY BLOG RATING: A-
Taking my Revenge!
I ran five whole miles this morning, and I’m a little proud of myself because I really, really didn’t want to, but the only reason I did it was revenge…
Revenge — it’s a show on ABC. I started watching it from the first season on Netflix, which I stream to a tablet while I run on the treadmill, and every single time something dramatic happens, I go “Ooooh!” and pick up the pace a little, LOL!
I wonder how many cupcakes I can eat for five miles… 10 or 15 of them? (Please say yes.)
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
P.S. Hope you’re having a good hump day so far.