TRICKY GRINDER IN THE HOUSE, Y’ALL!
TRICKY GRINDER — in the mix!
I know, “tricky grinder” sounds like a DJ name, right? Like some guy spinning at da club on a Tuesday night. Normally, you wouldn’t go because it’s a school night, but sometimes you just gotta dance.
Sorry to burst your house music bubble, but today’s “tricky grinder” is not in reference to spinning the phat jamz.
It’s the contraption that is both a blessing — and a curse — of these $24 Halo Long Wear Blushes by Smashbox.
Come on, baby, let’s do the twist
You might remember seeing these Halo Longwear Blushes before. They first bounced on the scene in 2013. I took a look at them then but didn’t give them a good try until this week. Now they’re available in six shades for $24 each.
The one I’m wearing in the picture at the top is one of them, In Bloom, a natural-looking matte warm pink.
Solid blushes that come in a jar with an attached cheese grater-like thingamabobber, they let you easily control how much loose powder you use. Just twist the inner ring like a pepper grinder to shave some of the solid blush into the pan.
Big surprise! I get a weird kick out of this. When I use the twisty top, I feel like I’m earning my blush, like I’m a pioneer on the plains, planting, growing and gathering fresh non-GMO vegetables in my garden and sh*t. But with makeup.
Why loose blush?
I’m usually not a big fan of loose powder blushes because they can be super messy, and I’m super clumsy, but I love the way they look. I know it sounds like a bunch o’ hooey, but I’ve been taking makeup pictures of myself pretty much daily for eight years, and I see a distinct difference between the way that loose and solid powder blushes appear on my skin. Loose powders just seem to have that certain something, that je ne sais quoi, that solid powder blushes generally lack.
Smashbox Halo Long Wear Blush In Bloom, one of the six available shades, looks amazeballs on skin, both in pics and real life. I like this particular matte pink because it’s forgiving (doesn’t emphasize pores) and fantastic for pics. Wear it, and your cheeks will be the envy of all the baby cherubs, son. On top of that, its 14-hour wear time kicks so much @ss. I’m talking solid color from start to finish, with minimal fading.
Of course, with this color and the others, you have to put up with some schtuff to make it work. As my curmudgeonly piano teacher used to say before she’d torture me with 15 minutes of scales (during which time she’d often fall asleep while sitting up), “Nothing in this life is free. You have to earn everything, Karen!”
A little goes a looong way
My childhood traumas aside, that tricky grinder!
It took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out how much I needed to twist the tricky grinder contraption to dispense the proper amount of product. The first four or five times I used it, I ended up with way too much product, which I may/may not have accidentally spilled all over my office carpet and my freshly washed jeans, which may/may not have triggered a string of expletives so intense that even Suge Knight would’ve noticed.
“Beware of over grinding,” Karen said, before realizing that it sounded like a bad R. Kelly song, “because excessive blush can be dangerous.”
Sure, it’s tempting. Everyone wants to look like that one crazy aunt at the party everyone’s whispering about (“OMG! Did you see Auntie Karen? She’s covered in cat hair and wearing too much rouge!”). 🙂
Long story short, you do not need to use very much of this blush. Just a Lilliputian amount. I barely twist the twisty ring a quarter of an inch.
Then, buff the shaved loose powder on the apples of your cheeks, and you’ll be rewarded with a natural-looking, marathon-worthy flush.
Finally, if you do happen to end up with some extra product in the jar, be careful. My jar doesn’t fully close, so the leftover powder always squeezes through the seam and gets everywhere.
Please fix that soon, dear Smashbox, so that I may give you the A+ you deserve. OKTHXBAI! 🙂
PRICE: $24 for a 0.07 jar (available in six shades), which should be enough to last your next five lifetimes
AVAILABILITY: Permanent, and available now at Smashbox counters and online
MAKEUP AND BEAUTY BLOG RATING: A-
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,