One beauty blogger. Countless hours of music video watching. Two random acts of beauty.
Fall 1981
I’m in first grade. I get home from school one day, turn on the telly and see Blondie’s video, “Heart of Glass,” for the first time. Debbie Harry is blonde and bad-ass. I decide she’s the bomb and make the pledge to be her when I grow up.
During dinner I ask my mom if I can cut my long, straight black hair. “I want it short,” I say. “Blonde, too! And I’d like to do it before school tomorrow.”
My mom rolls her eyes, plops some vegetables on my plate and snorts, “Next year.” This answer is standard operating procedure in our household so I just shrug it off. I figure, okay, I can wait until second grade. It’s not that far away. (It wasn’t until I was much older when I finally figured out the words “next year” were code for “Oh hell naaaaaw, girl.”)
Later that evening, I sneak my mom’s gray shawl out of her bedroom. I put on some Grape Lip Smackers Gloss and dance around my room while singing, “La la la lah, heart of glass!” Even though I don’t have the blonde hair, boobs, or a band for that matter, my inner bad-ass Debbie manages to manifest itself. Yes!
Summer 1984
Madonna’s “Lucky Star” video is playing on MTV practically 24 hours a day. I am convinced that the black outfit that she has on is just the thing to wear to school picture day in the fall.
While we’re shopping for school clothes at Mervyn’s (there was no Limited Too back in the day), I freak out when I discover that the children’s section has no black, fingerless lace gloves. Wait … no black mesh tops either? What the hell?
My mom hands me a glittery unicorn decal T-shirt. I kick furiously at the carpet and foam at the mouth. To hell with the unicorns! It’s the black Lucky Star outfit or death!
“Don’t you start fussing about clothes,” my mom threatens through clenched teeth. “There are starving, naked children running around in the Philippines! Do you think they whine about black lace gloves? All they want is a scoop of rice and some underwear!”
Blah, blah, blah. I tune her out and pout all the way home.
I decide there is only one way to rebel against that dumbass unicorn T shirt. I put on some of my mom’s black eyeliner and try very carefully to make it look just like Madonna’s in the video. I somehow figure out how to work the VCR, tape the Lucky Star video, and then play it over and over again. Play, rewind, dance. Play, rewind, dance. I learn the entire video by heart. Hours pass. The sun goes down.
For some weird reason my parents say nothing while this strangeness unfolds in the living room. Maybe they figured at least I was exercising and not hanging out with the neighborhood ruffians. Or perhaps they thought I was possessed by the spirits and that there wasn’t anything they could do. They’ve never clarified why they let me dance around for five hours wearing crazy black eyeliner; I suspect they never will.
That day was the first day I ever wore black eyeliner and it’s been downhill ever since. I owe part of my makeup obsession to Madge and that fateful black outfit. She’s still number one in my book. And to this day, whenever the Lucky Star video starts playing, I can’t help but bust out the dance moves. Yes!
In the Beginning, there was Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen
I went to Long’s yesterday to buy some Wet Ones Wipes to clean my brushes, a packet of LifeSavers Gummies (my sixth major food group) and some Cover Girl Lash Blast.
So I’m wandering around the makeup section when lo and behold, I run into the celebrity perfume aisle. I never paid attention to it until a few weeks ago, when I had the earth-shattering revelation that not all celeb perfumes suck.
I saw perfumes by the usual suspects (J.Lo, Hillary Duff, Britney), as well as the not-so usual suspects (Antonio Banderas — LOLOLOLZ).
Suddenly I realized that there was an inordinate amount of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen perfumes and body sprays. It’s clear from the ad pictures that these were made years ago, prior to the twins’ movement into high fashion.
These girls are like the OG original gangsters of celeb perfumes. They’ve got about 10 different kinds and their perfumes take up half of the aisle. Holy shizz!
The Olsen Twins, aka the Terminators of the Drugstore Celeb Perfume World
For reasons unknown I really wanted to buy the $15.99 gift set, but I wasn’t exactly ready to go there.
Later on that day, I chatted with my girl Julie from Almost Pretty. She confessed to having smelled a few MK and Ashley scents and described them as being akin to being enveloped in a smelly cloud of “sparkly crack.” THANK JEEBUS I held back from buying that set.
More Holiday Wish List 2007 — Starlight Perfume by Shania Twain
I’m happy to report that not all of the drugstore celeb perfumes are steeped in scent tragedy. One budget-minded perfume that I’ve actually been liking is Shania Twain’s Starlight.
The scent is very crisp, and reminds me of a mix of snow and champagne. On my skin the perfume reveals very few floral notes and smells more like a feminine, sophisticated version of men’s cologne.
Shania looks really great in this ad campaign, too. Girlfriend is fierce in that prom dress.
If you’re on a strict budget this year (and girl…trust me, I’ve been there) then this is a great gift option for your brother or sister’s girlfriend.
The 1.7 fl oz bottle of Shania Starlight is $34.00 for an eau de toilette spray; the smaller, 0.5 fl oz. spray is $18.00.
Today I’m going to do some more MAC Holiday 2007 product testing. I’ll have some more lovely swatches and pics of the Royal Assets Eye Shadow sets and Lip Sets soon!
Aren’t you glad it’s Wednesday? We’re halfway there, ya’ll! HOLD ON!
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
Christine says
How cute! I think the first non-classical music I heard was by TLC. I remember having the cassette and everything.
And no, I hate Wednesdays! It’s my longest day 10:30-4pm. Sighh!
nilla cookie says
OMG – I can’t stop laughing! And I love, love, L-O-V-E your writing! It makes my day everyday to come to your blog and get the inside scoop on beauty AND the woman behind it all.
Thanks so much!!
Abi says
Did you wind up liking the CoverGirl Lashblast? Please, this reader dearly wants to know!!!! lol thanks
Karen says
Oh no, Christine. But hey, you’ve got the internets. Back in my day all we had were those four color pens and our imaginations! HA HA HA!
Karen says
You’re welcome Nilla Cookie. Glad I could make you smile today. Have a good one!
Karen says
Ohhh Abi you bring up a sore spot. I couldn’t find it! I’ve looked EVERYWHERE and Lash Blast is MIA! BOO! 🙁
Christine says
Yeah, internet helps, except when it’s not reliable (as it is in my 1pm classroom location)!
Glosslizard says
Debbie Harry! Rapture! She is a badass! I have the Madonna Immaculate Collection CD in my car, so I periodically pop it in and turn up “Like a Prayer” until my eardrums beg for mercy! Yeah!
Atiyah says
LOL in the 7th grade I wanted to get a leather mini skirt, tank and blue jean jacket just like Tina Turner wore. I remember standing in the mirror trying to style my hair like hers in the Whats Love Got To Do With It video LOL. Just think if our mothers let us wear what we really wanted to!!!
Abi says
Ohh too bad! But don’t worry, you’ll get it soon enough, try your local Wal-Mart! lol bye!
Karen says
Glosslizard, on my way to the gym I popped in “Like a Prayer” and I totally rocked out. I didn’t like that song when it first came out, to tell you the truth. It took a few years for me to really appreciate it.
Two years ago I went to this club with my friend where all they played was Madonna! It was awesome.
Karen says
Atiyah I remember that video! (Tina is one of my heroes…one of these days I hope to see her in concert). Did you ever get your hair to look like hers? I remember it was pretty high!
Karen says
Oh, that’s a good idea, Abi. I know there’s one in my parent’s town so when I go visit them I’ll pop by. See ya!
alltheglitters says
Just wondering… How do you like covergirls Lashblast? I’ve seen it around and I want to know if its any good.
Tootsie says
I was in junior high when Madge made the scene. Express stores were all over the lace gloves, hipster belts, and chunky, sparkly, damn huge cross earrings! I was soooo “Like a Virgin” for my 8th grade photos. Gooooood times.
WendyB says
I still want that Stephen Sprouse dress Debbie is wearing in that photo. I had a lot of the Madonna stuff, since I shopped at a bunch of the same stores. I still have a pair of heart earrings that she wore. I lost my 80 rubber bangles years ago >:-(
Karen says
Hi Alltheglitters,
I am so bummed because I can’t find lashblast ANYWHERE! I am a little obsessed with finding it because I’ve heard so much about it. I will check Walgreens today so hopefully I’ll be able to blog about it in detaila soon.
Have a good day 🙂
Karen says
Tootsie, You are my hero. I coveted that “Like a Virgin” look too!
I actually have Like a Virgin album on vinyl somewhere around the house…yup. Good times.
Karen says
Hi WendyB,
Sigh … I lost my black rubber bangles too. I had both a multicolored and black set! I think they went into the blackhole that also includes my elementary school lunchbox.
Tootsie says
I know where rubber bangles are!! There’s a store called “Sidecca” that has all of your old school needs.
http://www.sidecca.com/what%27s%20new.htm
I swear, they had bubbled gum cigarettes. Just sayin’
Karen says
I remember getting those bubble gum cigarettes at Thrifty’s drugstore. I’d go in, get an ice cream cone, pick up a pack of bubble gum smokes. I was eight. ‘Twas so wrong.
AND HOLY CRAP I’M ALL OVER THOSE RUBBER BANGLES. You are my hero, Tootsie 🙂