This morning I had a Channing Tatum revelation.
In 1990, Chan-Tate — master of abdominal gyrations and star of many of my favorite daydreams — was 10 years old.
That same year, I was 15, and my younger brother was 11. So, technically, Channing could have been my lil’ brother’s homeboy, which by default means I could have been Channing Tatum’s babysitter.
Cue sad unicorn face!
Hmm… There’s something very weird about that. At approximately the same time I discovered the wonders of matte lipsticks (more on this in a sec), I could also have been preparing Channing Tatum a Hot Pocket for lunch, reading him a story, or scolding him for jumping on the couch.
Yup, matte, powdery-lookin’ lips were all the rage back then. For a period of about 10 years, while young Channing Tatum was probably pretending to be a Thundercat in the backyard, the world faced a severe shortage of glossed and glittery lips.
But, as they say, what’s old is new again. It’s time for us to talk about lips and NARS Fall 2013.
Take my hand, friend, as the waves of ’90s nostalgia crash over us…
In a collection heavy on matte eyes and lips, with the Velvet Matte Lip Pencils, there isn’t a single sparkle to be found between pale pink Paimpol and brick-like Mysterious Red.
Of the two, Mysterious Red is the showstopper for me, albeit one that isn’t entirely unique. While striking and bold, I’ve seen the color and shades like it before (NARS Forbidden Red, MAC RiRi Woo and MAC Red come to mind).
Beautiful and classic, this warmish opaque brick red is the exact lip color I longed for in the summer of 1990, when I desperately wanted to look like Madonna in her Express Yourself video, yet despite its stark, flat matte finish, it feels surprisingly smooth on my lips.
For comparison, you know that dramatic, powdery effect you get with MAC RiRi Woo? Well, Mysterious Red has it, too, but without the tugging or skipping.
And being a pencil, it’s a cinch to use. Just line and fill in your lips.
If you compulsively collect reds and want to freshen your collection for fall, Mysterious Red would be a solid choice. It may not be the most groundbreaking shade, but at least you know it won’t go out of style before you’ve worn it down to a stub.
MAKEUP AND BEAUTY BLOG RATING: B+/A-
Under close examination, I do see some sparkles on pink chiffon Paimpol’s tip, but there isn’t a twinkle in sight when it’s on my lips, where it’s more of a straight-up flat matte.
Can’t say I’m in love with this one. I had my heart set on a soft baby pink, but I get more of a purplish pink on my pigmented lips.
A little too CSI for me…
It’s also patchy and latches on to even the finest stray flakes, basically making me look bloodless, like I was a hungry vampire’s dinner.
If you look good in pale, purplish pinks like MAC’s Viva Glam Nicky 2, you can probably pull it off, but I gotta give this one a Kanye shrug.
MAKEUP AND BEAUTY BLOG RATING: C-:
PRICE: $25 each
AVAILABILITY: Coming July 15 to NARS counters, boutiques and online
Remember that stuff? Every guy in my class had Drakkar Noir cologne emanating from his pores…
It reminds me of dances, sweaty palms and boys stepping on my toes. I’m only remembering it now because one of my favorite bands, Phoenix, has a song called Drakkar Noir.
It’s pretty catchy, too.
Big Phoenix fan over here.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,