According to recent research in the field of cat lady psychology, incidents of Kitty Stockholm Syndrome among humans held hostage by cats is at an all-time high.
A random sampling of cat ladies between the ages of 22-65 indicates that the rate of Kitty Stockholm Syndrome, or KSS, a trauma that occurs when humans empathize with their cat captors, affects a staggering 99.9% of women held hostage by their cats.
Because of the stigma attached to KSS, and fearing retribution at the paws of their feline captors, many cat ladies are reluctant to publicly discuss the phenomenon. But a few brave souls, like blogger Karen of Makeup and Beauty Blog, have been willing to speak about it on the record.
Karen recently sat down with us for this exclusive interview to reveal what goes on in the mind of a cat lady KSS sufferer…
“Oh, sure,” said Karen, a veteran beauty blogger and cat lady who’s lived with KSS since 2007. “I’ve got KSS, big time, but it doesn’t really manifest itself until I actually leave the compound.
“Take last week. My captor, Tabs, stayed at home while I went to Las Vegas for a conference. Now, you might think I would have used the trip as an opportunity to escape, but the entire time I was there, I kept thinking about Tabs — wondering if he was watching birds through the windows, or sleeping, or eating the potted catnip plant he forced me to install before leaving.
“I thought of him so much that it even came through in my makeup!
“I wore cat eye liner over the entire trip, exactly the way Tabs likes it, too — in a true black shade, dark and dramatic, with a flirty, feline flick at the end — using the new NARS Eye Paint in Black Valley ($25).
“By the way, NARS Black Valley? All sorts of rad.
“Wait! — you haven’t tried it yet? I know this interview is supposed to be about KSS, but seriously, we have got to get you on the Black Valley train, ASAP.
“It’s from the new NARS Eye Paints line of long-wearing potted gels that do everything — almost like MAC Fluidline/Paint Pot hybrids. You can use ‘em to line your eyes (both lash and water lines), as cream shadows, or as bases for powder products.
“Black Valley takes a little longer to dry than, say, MAC Blacktrack, giving me more time to smudge and play with it, and I find that it’s also much easier to create gradients with.
“And then there’s the wear time…
“Wonderful! Like last week in Vegas, with conference classes from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., I barely had any time for my makeup, and seriously, the Mandalay Bay hotel had full-sized bottles of Grey Goose in the rooms but no coffee maker (go figure!), so in the mornings I was always sleepy and running behind.
“It felt a little like I was back in college again…except inside a casino.
“Anywho, with only about 10 minutes to get ready every morning, I’d knock out my Tabs-inspired cat eye with Black Valley on bare lids without any primer, and at the end of each day, when I’d get back to my room, it still looked almost as fresh as it did first thing in the morning — just as dark as ever on my lash lines, with very minor fading along the water lines.
“Before going out to grab a bite to eat in the evenings (and to play a couple rounds of Kitty Glitter after), I’d blot down the shine on my skin, add a fresh coat of bright lipstick, whack on another layer of mascara, and I was good to go. Thanks to Black Valley, I really didn’t have to touch up my liner at all.
“It stood up to 16-hour Las Vegas desert days, no problem.
“If you’re putting in long hours and don’t have time for eye makeup touch-ups, I can’t recommend Black Valley enough. Or, if you have a serious case of KSS and absolutely have to wear cat liner whenever you’re away from your kitty captor.”
PRICE: $25 for a 0.08-ounce pot
AVAILABILITY: Available now in the permanent line at NARS counters and online
MAKEUP AND BEAUTY BLOG RATING: A
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,