PICK UP, PICK UP, PICK UP!
Gah! Where the heck are you, girl?! You better be in the bathroom doing some hella fierce cat eye liner or something; otherwise, I’m going to be terribly offended!
“…please leave a message after the beep, and I’ll return your call as soon as –”
Oh, come on! You are missing one of the most important phone calls of your entire life!
OK, that may have been an exaggeration…
Brace yourself for a loooooong rambling message, but what else is new?
Hey, babe, it’s me Karen! Wish you were there. Question for ya — are you free on April 15th? You’re not gonna believe this, but I got an invite to a party and need you to be my plus one.
Before you answer, the host is François Nars…
CRAZYPANTS, RIGHT!? It’s pool party with François-freaking-Nars!
It’s for their new summer collection and, uh, I’m already stressing about what to wear. You know me!
So, Adult Swim — that’s the theme, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t have anything to do with that cartoon channel…
Oh, but can you imagine if it did? We roll up and Stewie from the Family Guy is there having a sexy party.
EWWW! Yeah, I could not handle that.
I think it’s more along the sultry pool party lines, and no, you cannot show up in your swim cap and goggles, you dork! I am not about to let you jump in the pool and do laps in front of François.
Because I know you want to.
The invite doesn’t say anything about attire, but I’m guessing bikinis, stilettos — basically, I think if we dress for a rooftop pool party at a really expensive New York hotel, we’ll be alright.
NARS Adult Swim Collection Product Pics
Tropical Princess Duo Eyeshadow, $34
And the for makeup, for you I’m thinking we should do a tropical princess theme. Lime green on your lids with an icy lavender along your lower lash line, ooh-la-la.
We’ll use the new NARS Tropical Princess Duo Eyeshadow ($34).
Those metallic finishes are just so dramatic, and I know you love drawing attention to your eyes. We can even wet the shadows first to make them look more shimmery.
Oh, boy, this is a long message, isn’t it…?
Anywho! If you’re not feelin’ the super high shine, or if you’re stressing about the frosty finishes highlighting your fine lines (yes, dear, you do have fine lines), then we’ll just buff one of the shades on your lids with a domed fluffy brush, and do a light wash of shimmery color.
Don’t worry about the fallout, either. With this, it ain’t no thing.
Malaaca Single Eyeshadow, $24
For me, I’m going smokey — big surprise! There’s a couple of things in the collection that are totally my smokey style, like the Malaaca Single Eyeshadow ($24).
HOLY WOW, EGYPTIAN MAU! So pretty… It’s like a peacock feather in a pan, and it’s absolutely, freakishly gorgeous. It’s definitely my favorite thing in the summer collection, hands down.
Basically, it’s like MAC Club, but with less intense dark brown tones and more teal.
Baalbek Eye Paint, $25
Malaaca looks AMAZE-BALLS layered with Baalbek Eye Paint ($25), by the way, the one lonely gel liner in Adult Swim.
Baalbek is an intense shimmery bronze — beautiful on it’s own, but layer it under Malacca because the two are like RyGos and Rachel from The Notebook together. Baalbek’s bronze intensifies Malaaca’s teal, and then there’s the shimmering bronze glitter peeking through…
Super cool. My new favorite smokey eye.
Lost Coast Duo Eyeshadow, $34
Sorry! I know this is a long message, but I’m almost done.
There are also two more eye pieces in the collection — Lost Coast Duo Eyeshadow ($34), which houses a golden pewter and a lilac; and a creamy, rosy quartz Soft Touch Shadow Pencil called Iraklion ($24).
I think Lost Coast would probably be better for daytime eye looks, since the shadows are muted, so maybe not ideal for the party, assuming it runs late. I mean, they’re pigmented, but definitely not as flashy as Tropical Princess or Malacca.
Iraklion Soft Touch Shadow Pencil, $24
If you’re wondering about Iraklion, I don’t know. It creases within minutes on me, so I think maybe we should put that one aside for now.
Hot Sand Liquid Illuminator, $30
As for our cheeks, there are no blushes in the Adult Swim collection, but I’m cool just wearing the Hot Sand Liquid Illuminator ($30).
I’m going through a dewy skin phase anyway, and this peachy, champagne liquid highlighter should be perfect that that. I like to pat it on my cheekbones, right around the middle of the forehead and down the bridge of my nose with a flat foundation brush.
Totally subtle but still noticeable. Fresh but not overly shiny.
And don’t trip about having to reapply. It lasts all day on me.
Lip Glosses in Turkish Delight, Orgasm, Wonder, Salamanca and Priscilla, $26 each
For lips now, since I’ll be wearing smokey eyes, I’m going with Turkish Delight or Orgasm Lip Gloss ($26 each).
Yup, both are from Adult Swim, and yes, they’re in new packaging! NARS completely revamped and repackaged their Lip Gloss line (which is separate from their Larger Than Life Lip Glosses, incidentally), giving it a new silkier, smoother formula.
And you’ll probably love this: they ditched the obnoxious plasticky flavor and scent, whoop-whoop!
We’ll talk more about the Lip Gloss line when I see you, but basically they’re non-sticky, super smooth, and last from 2-4 hours.
NARS carried creamy light pink Turkish Delight over from their previous Lip Gloss line. It’s your quintessential glossy nude lip, and I like it because you can actually see it on pigmented lips.
I don’t have to jump through any hoops to get it to show up. It’s just a straight-up creamy pink nude gloss. If you don’t have it yet, you NEED it.
Or I might do Orgasm Lip Gloss instead. That one was also carried over from their previous lipgloss collection, and it’s the same lurvely peachy gold.
For your lips, since we’re doing green and purple for your Tropical Princess eyes, I think we should go with a complementary color from the opposite side of the spectrum, so either an orange or pink, like Wonder, Salamanca or Priscilla from the Adult Swim collection.
The NARS Adult Swim Collection Lip Glosses in Wonder, Salamanca and Priscilla
- Wonder — Wonder, a creamy, sheer mandarin orange with barely-there pink and gold shimmer, is another carryover from the previous line.
While quite visible in swatches, it’s harder to see on my lips. If you’re hoping for a burst of disco glittery goodness, you’re not going to find it in this tube.
I do think it’s beautiful, though, and orange lips are having a moment…
- Salamanca — HECTOR SALAMANCA!!
Sorry, Breaking Bad ref.
This sheer bright pink flamingo gloss totally rings my bell. A new addition to the NARS Lipgloss Line, it’s quickly becoming one of my pink gloss favorites.
So juicy… So sheer… So shiny…
It just screams hot summer nights and spontaneous adventure!
This is a color you wear when you want to get into trouble.
- Priscilla — A hot pink with bluish undertones, Priscilla is also new to the NARS Lip Gloss line. Like MAC Pink Poodle, but without the silver glitter, I think it’s the most pigmented of the five Lip Glosses in the summer collection.
Yes, it’s bold, but the fact that it’s not fully opaque keeps it wearable.
You could totally rock this, no prob.
Libertango Nail Polish, $19
I’m sorry about the length of this message, babe, but I’m almost done.
Last, but not least, our nails. I say we both wear Libertango ($19). It’s like MAC Lady Danger Lipstick in nail polish form. Two coats of this pigmented reddish coral will do fine.
So! I really hope you can make it, babe. Please be my plus one. It should be tons of fun! Maybe we’ll even spot a celeb or two. Call or text me later and let me know.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,