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Bag Balm is Udderly Fantastic
Posted by Karen on December 14th, 2007
Bag Balm is Udderly Fantastic
Growing up in the burbs meant that I didn’t have much contact with farm animals, so the first time I saw a bottle of Mane n’ Tail shampoo in the drugstore I stood in the aisle for 15 minutes trying to work out what the hell was going on.
“Hmmm,” I thought. “There are no farms in my ‘hood, so why carry a shampoo for horses on the shelf? And if horses need shampoo, what about conditioner or gel for that matter? Do horses in the wild have rattier hair because they don’t use shampoo? And what kind of woman would use a horse shampoo anyway?” It was all very confusing.
(Full disclosure: I have to point out that I am easily confused. During my entire freshman year in high school I had a picture of Bobby Brown on my algebra binder. I wish I could say that at the time I was trying to be sarcastic, but, unfortunately, that was not the case.)
Ever since then I’ve been weirdly fascinated by beauty products suitable for use by both animals and humans.
So, three years ago I was cruising Walgreen’s in downtown San Francisco and found a mysterious green tin of BAG BALM in the lotion aisle. That’s when it struck me — de ja vu/vu ja de!
Yes, that is a cow’s head surrounded by a wreath of roses. The tin said it was for “chapped conditions and superficial abrasions” and gave directions on how to use the balm after milking.
WHAT?
It got even better after I saw the picture of udders on the side and read the “special directions”:
“For use on cows, thoroughly wash treated teats and udder with separate towels before each milking. To avoid contamination after each milking, bath the udder with plenty of hot water, strip milk out and dry skin. Apply BAG BALM freely and massage gently with this proven ointment twice daily. This product contains no alcohol.”
LOLOLZ! You better believe I bought that tin on the spot.
I owned no farm animals in need of udder moisturization, so when I got home I really didn’t know what to do with it. For kicks that night I ended up putting a layer on my feet before bed. And, girl, what a happy surprise! Bag Balm is a fantastic moisturizer. My dry heels were velvety soft in the morning.
Around since 1899, Bag Balm is a salve made from a short list of ingredients — 8-hydroxyquinoline sulfate 0.3% in a petrolatum, lanolin base. It’s thick and greasy, like a cold stick of Crisco, and it’s stinky, too; the scent reminds me of a mix of old, musty books and fresh street tar. Despite these not-so-attractive factors, my feet can’t live without it because it’s incredibly moisturizing.
I’ve also read that it’s popular for chapped and irritated skin and as a post-tattoo skin soother. ‘Tis cheap, too. One huge 10 oz tin runs about $6.00 and lasts forever. I’ve barely used half of the tin I bought three years ago!
I keep a tin under my couch, so as I’m watching TV before bed I can slather on a layer, massaging it into my feet while paying attention to my heels and cuticles. Then, I’ll pull on a pair of toe socks to keep my feet toasty, and the warmth seems to intensify the moisturization process.
In the morning my tootsies are super soft! Yes, it still weirds me out a little to think that this is also used for a cow’s private parts but whatever, it works.
Aren’t you glad the weekend is here? Tonight El Hub and I are going into SF for my friend’s birthday party. We’re all going to a Puerto Rican restaurant and I can’t wait to get my grub on. Carbs, here I come!
Got any exciting plans? I hope they involve some fierce makeup!
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
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December 14th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
Bag Balm is Udderly Fantastic
Growing up in the burbs meant that I didn’t have much contact with farm animals, so the first time I saw a bottle of Mane n’ Tail shampoo in the drugstore I stood in the aisle for 15 minutes trying to work out what the hell was going on.
December 14th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
I just found your blog and I am loving it!! I have added it to my favorites. Can you do a review of the Neutrogena Skin Rejuvenator or Wave. Dove also has this same kind of gadget. I think they are knockoffs of the Clarisonic gadget. (Oprah favorite)
December 14th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Bag balm is also the best for a baby’s diaper rash! Our ped told us to use this when regular diaper creams were not working. Gotta love a multi-purpose product!
December 14th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
This post is … the words escape me. Karen you are one crazy woman. I love this! I don’t live by Walgreens but there is a pet store by my apartment. I wonder if they have Bag Balm. =)
December 14th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
Girlfriend, you are braver than I am! I just can’t get past the whole udder thing. But I laughed out loud at your review!
December 14th, 2007 at 7:32 pm
Wow….wow. lol I’m gonna have to look for that, I have dry heels.
I just found your blog yesterday, and I am totally in love!
December 14th, 2007 at 7:32 pm
Karen, I just discovered your blog a week or two ago, and it’s my absolute *favorite* beauty blog (and I’ve read quite a few). I started reading your archives (I’m currently on September) because your posts are so entertaining and you crack me up. The product reviews are great (I also have a MAC addiction). Plus, I love that you’re in the Bay Area because I went to Berkeley, and although I moved away a while ago, I still miss it and the Bay Area holds a special place in my heart… plus when you mention place names I totally know where they are.
December 14th, 2007 at 8:31 pm
Oh my gosh. Bag Balm! My mom has been using this for years and I used to use it a lot in college where I lived in a very dry dorm. It’s great for super dry skin, especially in Midwest winters.
I have a bad memory of this product, though. My Freshman year of college, I kept a tin of Bag Balm on the water heater cover in my dorm (really old school). Anyway, I left for a weekend in the Fall and apparently the college turned the heat on while I was away. Well, when I got back, my room smelled like some horrible funk. Apparently the Bag Balm melted in the tin when the heater turned on and the stuff oozed its way all over my heater, floor and bed. There was this terrible greasy residue in my room for the rest of the school year. I haven’t used it since because the smells brings back some bad memories…
Have a great weekend! We’re expecting some great snowfalls here, so I’m excited to get a few days locked up in the house with my husband and daughter.
December 14th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
I used to use this all the time growing up in central NY, where it is cold and dry from October until April. I haven’t needed it here in Delaware.
Bag Balm is great, but I can’t stand the EA 8-hr cream, which has a similar nasty odor. People rave about the 8-hr cream and even recommend it for use on the face. No thanks!
December 14th, 2007 at 9:46 pm
hi there - bag balm is a totally awesome product
much like A&D ointment (yes, the stuff you use on babies for diaper rash), it really helps moisturize skin…though I’m more partial to the A&D because it doesn’t smell as funky. Also good for cyclists that have unfortunate mishaps on a ride and end up a little chafed, haha.
December 14th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
that balm packaging jar is so huge. have you heard of lucas paw paw??
December 14th, 2007 at 11:01 pm
Hi Karen!
That jar of Bag Balm looks a little crazy! Enough to last a couple of lifetimes! I adore the little frog just kickin’ it with your kick-arse socks too..
Hope you’re having a great time in the city! It’s too cold for me to go out but I’m heading out to the BF’s company holiday party tomorrow. I better look HOT, yo! Gotta go get some new makeup - it’s the perfect excuse for me to go spend some moola on myself
December 15th, 2007 at 12:11 am
Hey Karen! Thanks for the post! I’ve seen those tins around, but I never paid attention to what was on it or what it’s for. hehe But I have tried the Mane & Tail shampoo and conditioner. Didn’t really work for me, but it was pretty entertaining to see horse products for human use. hehe I hope you enjoy your night out!
December 15th, 2007 at 12:46 am
I saw this and it reminded me of you!!
http://specktra.net/f185/my-collection-28498/
December 15th, 2007 at 12:46 am
[the 1st picture]
December 15th, 2007 at 3:30 am
Wow Karen! Incredible that miracles for your feet just happens to be soothing on cow udders, lol!!! I do the same thing with my toesies except I just have a regular cream. But for shits and giggles, I wouldn’t mind telling people that I use cow udder cream for my soles, hah.
December 15th, 2007 at 9:18 am
Girl you’re too cool for words. I’m so glad I’ve found your blog, I learn all kinds of fun stuff.
I loved the little green frog, by the way! Cool socks! I will give this product a try on my next visit to CVS or Walgreens, thank you for the tootsies tip!
XoXo
- JeDa21
December 15th, 2007 at 11:13 am
Okay, I’m died. I’m not only dying at the Bobby Brown pic but at the frog sayin’,”What it do”…..Lord help me because you are TOO funny!!
So yeah…when I was younger and before my cousins used to wash my hair with that Mane N Tail stuff (because it was cheap) and we never thought much about it. Especially livin’ in Miami….weren’t no damn horses around. It wasn’t until I was older that I knew it wasn’t quite for the nappy Black girls’ hair. Yeah. Sad.
I do love you though. You always have me crackin’ up.
December 15th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
Hi Andrea,
Aww, thanks! I’m so honored that you added the blog to your faves! That’s awesome.
I’ve heard about the Clarisonic thingy but haven’t really checked it out. Lemme do some research and see what I can find.
BTW, I like Oprah, too.
December 15th, 2007 at 10:36 pm
Hey Melissa,
Wow, who would’ve thunk that a product for cow’s udders could be so versatile. Good for the cows, babies, and dry ole’ feet, ha!
December 15th, 2007 at 10:37 pm
Hey SarahM,
Who knows! Maybe the pet store will carry it if they cater to folks with farm animals…ya never know!
December 15th, 2007 at 10:38 pm
Hi Beauty 411,
Yeah, it’s pretty gross, I know. But what can I say? It works.
Glad I could get you to laugh. Hope to see you back soon!
December 15th, 2007 at 10:40 pm
Hiya Cherrysmex23,
Great to meet you! Yeah, this cow’s udder cream will work some miracles on your heels (if you can get over the stink!).
I’m glad enjoy the blog because I love writing it.
Take care and had a good weekend.
December 15th, 2007 at 10:47 pm
Turpnut,
Hey girl! I hope you are all comfy and cozy in your house with your fam. I’ve never lived in a place with snow, ever. My hub and I were walking to the gym this morning and it was in the low 50s and I couldn’t hang; no cold weather for me. But snowfalls sound like a great excuse to spend lots of quality time with your loved ones.
Isn’t it crazy how certain smells can bring back memories, both good and bad? I couldn’t imagine living in a room with residual eau de Bag Balm, oy. My freshman year dorm room smelled like laundry soap - my roommate and I were right across from the laundry room. BTW, what did you study in school?
Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
December 15th, 2007 at 10:53 pm
Hi AshB,
It’s nice to meet another “Bay Area” girl! I’m really glad you found the blog and that you enjoy reading it. I’ll try not to feed your MAC addiction too much, LOL. I can’t guarantee it, though!
Do you have any favorite MAC products? Mine are the 266 brush, Fluidlines, Technakohls, and the Mineralize Eye Shadows (for now.)
December 15th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
Aww, E.D., why no love for the Elizabeth Arden 8 hour! I love that shizz. For some reason it’s less stinky to me thank the Bag Balm, which reminds me smells stuffy gym shoes.
December 15th, 2007 at 10:59 pm
Hi Mayaari,
I’ve never tried the A&D, but should I ever finish my Bag Balm tin (sadly it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen anytime soon) then it’s next on my list.
OMG, sports chafing. Don’t get me started. I should’ve known about this stuff when I ran a half marathon a few years ago. Things took a bad turn around mile 10 when the chafing set in! So not cute.
Anyway thank you for popping by and saying hi! Hope to see you back soon.
December 15th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
Hi Sandy,
Yes, that tin is crazy big. It’s gonna take YEARS to finish it. I’ve never heard of Lucas Paw Paw, but it sounds intriguing. Does it have anything to do with actual PAWS? LOLOL!
December 15th, 2007 at 11:02 pm
Hi Nilla,
Hope you had fun at the party! (and I hope you had extra fun buying new makeup.) Did they serve food or have an open bar? I hope so!
Last night was fun but cold. We went to a Puerto Rican restaurant in the mission (it was just okay, not my fave) but it was good to see my friends.
December 15th, 2007 at 11:07 pm
Hi Vera
My nite out was fun, thanks for asking. It’s been a while since I’ve been out (been working a ton!) so it was nice to have a relaxing evening with friends I haven’t seen in a long time.
That’s cool that you tried the Mane & Tail! If you had a horse you guys could totally share, ha! I hope it smelled good at least.
Anyway hope you’ve been well and that things in the lab haven’t been too stressful. Take care.
December 15th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
NIFTY, that pic was frickin RAD. I’m so jealous of that girl’s Craftsman! Sadly, I’d need about three of them at the least.
December 15th, 2007 at 11:10 pm
Hey Mrs. Lynne,
You should do it! It might freak people out but hey, it lasts forever and who knows…maybe in the future you’ll have a cow and you’ll need to use it on her. (You never know!). I don’t think I’ll EVER finish my tin. It’s gonna go with me into the next lifetime, LOL.
Are you and your babies feeling all better? I hope so!
December 15th, 2007 at 11:12 pm
Aww, thanks Jessica D! I am so glad that you popped by to say hi! Lemme know if you ever give Bag Balm a try and if you like it.
Have a good weekend!
December 15th, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Divine Blackness!
I must confess, after I put that Bobby Brown pic up I listened to “Don’t Be Cruel” a few times, ha! Back in the day Bobby wasn’t my favorite, I actually thought Ralph Tresvant was cuter. (Remember that song, “Sensitivity”?) I wonder what happened to him.
Yeah, I hear ya on using cheap shampoo and not knowing any better. My mom had stick straight hair and she really didn’t know what to do with my wavy hair, so she always ended up buying cheap volumizing PRELL, so I had bad, frizzy hair from about birth to sophomore year in high school. Tragic!
Are you originally from Miami? I’ll be in Florida (Miami, I think) next January for my best friend’s wedding. You’ll have to tell me where the good places are to shop!
December 16th, 2007 at 7:53 am
I studied Public Relations.
December 16th, 2007 at 10:26 am
Hey Karen,
It’s always nice to catch up with friends - glad you had a nice time (despite the food)! I haven’t gone to the Mission in a while but there is this one Spanish tapas place that’s pretty yummy. It’s called Ramblas - you should check it out sometime, the paella is YUM!
We had fun at the holiday party - they limited us to two drink coupons but they came around with wine during dinner a couple of times so it was all good!
December 16th, 2007 at 10:41 am
Oh Karen, I don’t think anything can stop the addiction now. It’s out of my hands. If the cosmetics gods want me to have another 217 brush, then I have to go get it, right?
hmmm, favorite MAC… Well, I LOVE Woodwinked eyeshadow (so versatile). The various types of kohl eyeliners by MAC are the best (I love them all for their own unique characteristics. They’re like my children). Teddy and Graphblack are my favorites. I just bought Poison Pen yesterday and I already know I’m going to use it a lot, it’s my favorite of Matte2. Oh, and lipgelees are so smooth and non-sticky and they smell like marshmallows. The list could go on and on.
December 16th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
Hi Tuprnut,
That’s cool! I used to work in PR back in the day…it was during the time where nobody pitched via e-mail. I had to call reporters on the phone, lol. E-mail and the web seems to have really changed the industry.
Hope you had a great weekend!
December 16th, 2007 at 6:56 pm
Hi Nilla,
I’ve eaten there before, it’s pretty good. Next time you drive up through Marin to go to Sonoma you should stop by Sol Food in San Rafael, which has yummy Puerto Rican fare.
Glad you had fun at the party. I hope the food was good!
December 16th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Hi AshB,
I love the Lipgelees! I have a whole bunch from last year’s holiday collection. Do you have a favorite in the regular line? I wanna get a few more.
Woodwinked is the BEST! It’s one of my work horse shadows, and is up there with Soba, Rice Paper, Vex and Club.
And yes, you need that second 217!
December 16th, 2007 at 7:20 pm
My favorite lipgelee is Jellybabe. I don’t wear highly pigmented lipsticks/glosses– I usually wear more makeup on my eyes and keep the lips natural. So Jellybabe is perfect because it has a really sheer rose color.
I use Woodwinked in so many ways and over/under so many other colors– I use it pretty much everyday, day or night.
And LOL I bought the second 217, but then decided that I didn’t *really* need it so I exchanged it for Poison Pen eyeshadow yesterday. And at the MAC store I was at, there was a Pro tour seminar with one of their national makeup artists. I was just looking at eyeshadows when the MA came up to grab a shadow, and he told me that I was pretty had very striking features. My response: I started drooling and and replied “heeeiinnnnngh” and then I passed out. It made my year.
December 16th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
Aww, aren’t you cute! Sounds like you got a lil’ starstruck.
Every MAC national artists I’ve ever met is so cool and very approachable! I love those MAC seminars; I always learn so much.
What do you pair Woodwinked with? I’ve been loving it in the crease with Black tied on the lid.
December 16th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
OH, and thanks for the Jellybabe rec! I still haven’t exchanged my stuff for Back to MAC so maybe they’ll let me snag a Lipgelee instead of a lipglass!
December 17th, 2007 at 8:24 am
So many ways to use Woodwinked:
- With a light hand for a very natural look (I use this daily)
- With a lot on, it looks just like Indianwood paint pot, but easier to apply/blend.
- Over Constructivist paint pot is one of my favorite uses– it makes a really pretty shimmer dark bronze color.
- Over Moss Scape paint pot, it creates a dupe of Sumptuous Olive eyeshadow (a really pretty shimmery olive/khaki green), which is unfortunate because I’ve been jonesing to buy that.
- Paired with Showstopper of Smoking (from the smoking eyes quads. For day I’ll put the darker shades on the outer third of my lid. For night I’ll put the darker shade at my lashline and blend it into Woodwinked at the crease.
December 17th, 2007 at 8:25 am
Oops! I posted too soon. Those are the ways I’ve figured out to use it. Do you have any pairings that you recommend?
December 18th, 2007 at 2:56 am
Omg! Bag balm! So my mom picked this up from our derm for her dry lips, and I relentlessly teased her for using the, what I like to call, “Utter Butter”. But wow, how I ate my words. This stuff is ahhhmazing. I use vaseline too, which my mom teases me for, but this bag balm stuff stays on and makes my lip utterly (ha!) smooth, supple, and baby soft. It’s just crazy! I didn’t know anyone else knew about it. Yay for Utter Butter!
December 18th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Hi AshB,
Those are great suggestions! I can’t wait to try them.
Right now I really like Woodwinked as an allover wash, and then tightlining the upper and lower lash line with Blacktrack Fluidline. I then use a few layers of mascara. It’s simple, yet sassy. I like to wear that look with peachy/gold blush and neutral/nude lips.
I like it with greens, too. I’ve been mixing and matching with lots of olive/khaki shadows from different brands. I’ll put Woodwinked over the entire lid, and then put the olive/green shade from the lash line and barely into the crease. I’ll then line with a green liner or a black liner. Soooo pretty!
December 23rd, 2007 at 9:00 am
[...] Got dry cow udders OR dry feet? Makeup and Beauty Blog finds Bag Balm Udderly Fantastic. [...]
December 23rd, 2007 at 9:58 am
[...] Got dry cow udders OR dry feet? Makeup and Beauty Blog finds Bag Balm Udderly Fantastic. [...]
December 23rd, 2007 at 5:17 pm
[...] Got dry cow udders OR dry feet? Makeup and Beauty Blog finds Bag Balm Udderly Fantastic. [...]
December 23rd, 2007 at 5:22 pm
[...] Got dry cow udders OR dry feet? Makeup and Beauty Blog finds Bag Balm Udderly Fantastic. [...]
December 23rd, 2007 at 5:23 pm
I have used BagBalm on my hands and I also find it works well on my creepy neck.
December 23rd, 2007 at 5:58 pm
Hey Chicklet,
I like it on my hands too - I just wish it wasn’t so stinky, ya know?
December 26th, 2007 at 5:44 pm
I have just come across your blog because of the beauty bulletin title, and bag balm is udderly fantastic!
I have one of those big tins too, I have had mine for at least five years and have only just started to see the bottom! I know that people think it smells weird, I just think that it doesn’t smell particularly nice. I use it as my lip balm mainly, and then for the dry spots I get over the crazy Canadian winters. I have even turned a few of my friends onto Bag Balm, and I refill my best friend’s little pot whenever she runs out… I cannot be without it, I keep a little pot of it in every purse. Bag Balm is my beauty staple! Ever hear of the interview that Shania Twain did with some british mag where she said her beauty secret was Bag Balm? The person who interviewed her wrote it as “Bag Bomb” so no one could figure out what it was…
Your blog is fab, love it! (Sorry for such a long post, but I REALLY love my Bag Balm)
December 26th, 2007 at 10:52 pm
Hi Claire Isabel,
Your extra long comment was super rad. I love it when people are passionate about their faves - especially when the product is for dual animal/human use, LOL.
I never heard of Shania rocking the Bag Balm, and that cracks me up that the editors/fact checkers didn’t catch it. “Bag Bomb,” what the hell?
Anyway, stay warm up north, my friend! For me 40 degrees is practically polar territory so I give you props for holding it down during the winter!
March 6th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
[...] dry cow udders OR dry feet? Makeup and Beauty Blog finds Bag Balm Udderly Fantastic. Posted by Jazmin · Share This [...]
March 21st, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Great site !! I am so glad I discovered it atleast now! I love the way you write and the cute little captions - so entertaining and informative! Totally lovin it!1
Indian Girl’s last blog post..More Lippies!!!
July 13th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
hey karen! just a fun fact- my grandfather’s cousin invented bag balm! we always have it in the house and i took a family trip to vermont to the bag balm factory a few years ago. stuff is great, glad you enjoy it too! and my dad uses the maine n tail lotion on his hands (he’s a big car junkie and gets real dry and chapped) i approve of animal products like you do
July 22nd, 2008 at 12:32 pm
I’ve been using this since I was a little kid. My mom used to slather it on any skin irritation my brother and I had growing up.
Now I keep a small tin in my purse where ever I go, I use it as a lip balm. It keeps my lips oh-so-soft. And maybe it’s just because I’ve been using my whole life, but I love the scent.
Zoes last blog post..magic gardens
July 29th, 2008 at 8:51 am
haha i just read about Bag Balm in this book “Girl of the Moment” (not the best book. so i googled Bag Balm, i guess ill have to go buy some now.