If you’re considering a career as an executive pet assistant, learn from my mistakes. Read your employment contract carefully before you sign (and maybe even enlist the help of an attorney); otherwise, you just might find yourself at the mercy of a demanding diva.
Apparently, my lawyer and I missed the clause in my contract that grants Tabs final wardrobe, nail color and accessories approval. Honestly, if I’d known all of the bullsh*t baggage that would come with this gig beforehand, I probably would’ve just gone to law school instead…
Today’s dilemma has to do with kitty coats and complementary colors. Specifically, Tabs and his stylist have been planning my wardrobe for the next two weeks, and they’ve chosen a theme based on classic fall shades designed to complement his fur — colors like the ones in the new Essie Brand New Bag Collection.
Essie Brand New Bag colors from the left: Very Structured, Case Study and Glamour Purse; Not pictured: Carry On (a mulberry merlot), Power Clutch (a dark green) and Lady Like (a demure pink)
Available now at beauty stores, salons, spas and drugstores, the six-piece collection features polishes with creamy finishes in autumnal hues of pink, beige, green, wine and brown — colors that Essies says were inspired by the structured handbags and ladylike glamour of the 1940s and ’50s.
Tabs and his stylist have narrowed down their decision to three of the six colors, claiming that Case Study (a cool beige with a hint of gray), Glamour Purse (a purplish taupe) and Very Structured (a cinnamon stick red) should “sing” beside his gray, brown and rust colored tabby coat, and they insisted that I swatch the three shades immediately.
Swatches from the left: Case Study, Glamour Purse and Very Structured
Swatches from the left: Very Structured, Glamour Purse and Case Study
I’m still pretty salty about not being allowed to pick my own nail polishes, but I have to admit — the cat has impeccable taste. Not only do these colors match his fur, but all three go really well with the faux snakeskin clutch Tabs picked out for me (vintage Banana Republic, circa 2005).
Even though these polishes take forever and a day to dry, they deliver full coverage color and breathtaking shine in just a single coat (although I used two coats in these pics, per Tabs’ explicit instructions).
PRICE: $8 each
AVAILABILITY: Available now at beauty supply stores, drugstores and also online
MAKEUP AND BEAUTY BLOG RATING: A
Fresh faces in pet modeling…
You heard it here first, folks! The next two up-and-coming superstars in the world of pet modeling are named Bucky and Colby, and here they are posing with their tubes of MAC Evolution Revolution Lipglass.
Bucky hails from Milwaukee, where he lives with his assistant, Julia. His specialty? — his hypnotic eyes.
Colby, who lives with Alka and her daughter, has a stone cold stare that’s making waves on runways worldwide. Expect big things from Colby this year.
The early buzz is that both of these cuties are set to make a big splash on runways this fall.
Keep your eyes peeled!
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,