You win a completely free vacation to the tropical location of your choice. Airfare, hotel, food, even souvenir spending money is covered (sweet!). There’s just one catch. When you travel to and from your destination, you have to wear a “special outfit” on the plane ride.
Your choices are…
Las Vegas show girl (complete with large feathered headdress), or full Scuba gear (with mask and flippers). YOU MUST CHOOSE!
You and your girls head to Maui for a break. On your first day there you all decide to head to the beach, but as you sift through your luggage you realize that you’ve forgotten to pack a swimsuit. You grab the keys to the rental car and tell your homegirls you’ll meet them after you find a suit. Unfortunately, all of the stores on the island offer only two swimsuit choices: 1) an itty bitty, hot pink bikini (and matching thong bottom) with rhinestones on the bra top, or 2) a full-body Speedo Fastskin FS-Pro, the same suit worn by members of the US Olympic Women’s Swim Team. YOU MUST CHOOSE!
Too bad the 2008 Olympic Men’s Swim Team won’t be wearing these outfits, yowza!
You’re at the airport about to board a plane for a 12-hour flight. When you go to check in at the gate, the clerk informs you that there are only two open seats left on the plane. You can either 1) sit next to a quiet dude who doesn’t talk but keeps passing gas every 15 minutes and then sprays Cool Water perfume into the air to cover the smell, or 2) a guy who doesn’t pass gas every 15 minutes but constantly narrates everything you do as if you’re stuck in a romance novel (“Karen licked her lips, crossing her legs seductively. Her breasts heaved as she leaned over to grab a strip of beef jerky from her purse,” etc, etc). YOU MUST CHOOSE!
Right now I’m on a plane somewhere over the Pacific Ocean. I’m probably reading Us Weekly or The Time Traveler’s Wife and drinking ginger ale (I get bad motion sickness). 🙂
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,
Karen
Jax says
1st YMC-
of course i’d rolll out with the vegas girl suits!!!!!!! imagine allll the nums id be getting!! HAHAHAHAHA 🙂
2nd YMC-
leaning towards the itty bitty…BUT! i do think the speedo fstskin would be nice if i decided to learn how to surf
last YMC-
i WOULD LOOOVVVVVE for the guy who’d constantly narrates everything. it’d be SOOOO funnnnnnnnnny! HEYY! @ least he’d be entertaining. 🙂
Amanda says
ok, I’m going with full scuba, full on body swimsuit (hey I won’t burn that way) and hmmm, the guy who narrates-I’ll just sit really still and wear my ipod.
KK says
oh my gosh! i love you girl, where do you come up with this stuff?!?
Ok so vegas girl I guess…just cause the mask part would get in the way with my cocktails!
Tiny tacky pink bikini cause I remember that in Hawaii there were a ton of secret beach spots so maybe no body would see me!
Oh this is a tough one…hm…I guess romance guy….but still major ICK!!!
Have a blast on your trip…we are heading to boring Houston for the weekend…..mother in laws 60th birthday…oh joy!
Bridget says
hahaha this was a good laugh. I’m going to ask my friends these, too.
My choices:
-Vegas outfit. Scuba masks freak me out a little!
-Those swim skins are such a pain to get into but then again… a thong?!haha I don’t think I could do that. My white butt would burn so fast I wouldn’t be able to sit for a week!
-The narrator guy. It could get very funny. I just hope he’s cute! 🙂
Bridgets last blog post..My Own Personal Forks.
Baby Girl says
Vegas show girl- always dreamed of wearing one of those outfits. The feathered head piece always attracted me.
tiny thong bikini – I’d rather look like a porn star than a seal (aka shark food).
The narrator- that’s what headphones and liquor are for.
Have fun!!!
Baby Girls last blog post..Hot Temps = Hot Music
lindsay says
1) scuba gear, i can always say i’m really excited for the beach!
2) hmm, i’m leaning towards the itty bitty only cause i know the “secret” beaches in hawaii
3) narrator cause i got my ipod!
how’s hawaii treating you?
Jousy says
haha, oh Karen, you’re too funny! i love these YMC scenarios 😛
YMC1: I’d go with the Vegas showgirl outfit cuz everybody knows me + flippers = disaster waiting to happen. I’ll get em caught in an escalator or something, fo sho!
YMC2: I’d wear the itty bitty bikini because wearing that full body suit would be hella hot.. literally! Howw hot? Just think of me as a fish broiling in some tin foil. no thanks!
YMC3: I’d choose the narrating dude because chances are, he’d have nothing to say when I’d around! I sleep A LOT while on the plane and besides, I can always listen to my iPod 🙂
hope Hawaii’s treating ya great!
LaurenIvy says
These posts are always good for a laugh! Let’s see…I’d go Las Vegas outfit, itty-bitty bikini (why not, I’m on vacay!), and like someone else said, I’d totally have on my Ipod the entire flight, although I would listen occasionally to see what romance novel guy had to say!
LaurenIvys last blog post..Material Girl
Glosslizard says
Wow, that’s a tough choice! The headdress and and bathroom problem or the flippers and the stairs?? I guess I’d have to go for the showgirl outfit, at least it wouldn’t be lethal! 😀
The scuba outfit, fo sho! I burn!
Narrator guy. “Her bosom shakes and strains the confines of her shirt as she laughs until tears course from her azure eyes…” 😛
vivien says
1] LA Showgirl
2] Itty Bitty Bikini
^ I would be sooo self conscious but these seem to be the better options!^
3]The narrator guy…the other guy would just disgust me!
rachel says
1. Scuba gear. I’m thinking practicality here…The headdress would be one hell of a pain to keep on for so long! Plus, i’d definitely be prepared if there’s a lost remake and we crash in the ocean 🙂
2. itty bitty bikini…you pretty much see every nook and cranny either way, so i might as well get a tan!
3. also the narrator guy, cause i just might play along ;]
Karen says
Hi Jax,
Oh! I didn’t even think about the speedo helping reduce my drag while surfing! Good point. 🙂
I hope you learn to surf someday. It’s so much fun!
Karen says
Hi Amanda,
I give you props for being able to handle the scuba tank while in the bathroom. That would near kill me, LOL!
Karen says
Hi KK,
I think I’m a victim of an overactive imagination! It tends to kick into overdrive late at night, too!
Have fun at the party this weekend. Eat some cake for me. 🙂
Karen says
Hi Bridget,
Ha! I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if the narrator guy looked like C. Bale! I could get down with that.
Karen says
Hi Baby Girl,
Those head pieces are awesome! I’ve always wanted to wear one of those outfits, but I gotta admit, I wanted to be a Vegas lounge singer ore than a showgirl.
Karen says
Hi Jousy,
Hawaii’s been pretty mellow and fun so far. 🙂 We went to Waikiki to grab a bite, and now we’re just chillin’ at home. It’s three hours behind here so my body is still on SF time so I’m ready to pass out!
I sleep a lot on planes, too (and other forms of transport). During this flight I was asleep for most of it.
Hope you had a good day! What’s going on for this weekend?
Karen says
Hi LaurenIvy,
I would probably do weird stuff while he was narrating just to see what he’d say (ie., scratch my armpit, pick my nose). 🙂
Karen says
Hi Glosslizard,
If you’re rockin’ the Speedo suit don’t forget to put some Shiseido 55 on your feet! 😉
Karen says
Hi Vivien,
Believe it or not, something similar actually happened to me once on a flight. It wasn’t every 15 minutes – more like 4 times during a 5 hour flight. A dude’s gas mixed with Cool Water in an enclosed space is NOT GOOD!
Karen says
Hi Rachel,
OMG! So true! I didn’t even think about how the scuba gear could help in the event of a water landing.
Yeah, it would be kinda fun if the narrator guy was cute. 🙂
Karen says
Hi Lindsay,
Hawaii’s been fab so far! I’m really tired from the flight and lil’ jet lagged, but other than that everything is great. I’m chillin’ at home right now with the family; I’m going to get up early to see a parade in Waikiki tomorrow. Hopefully I will be able to get my surf on as well. 🙂
How was your day?
Karen B says
Okay, first of all: that was mean!
1. Scuba gear (just don’t see myself in lots of feathers with a bare midrif…)
2. Speedo all the way: I’ve always wanted to learn how to surf and with a teeny-weeny bikini that would be risky… lol
3. Romancenovel guy all the way. It would be hilarious to just play along and then just go to sleep… lol
Karen Bs last blog post..Happy Birthday Lisa! ♥
Lehea says
I’d definitely hop on a flight to Hawaii sporting the scuba gear and sit next to the romance novel dude. 😛
Karen says
Hi Karen B.,
Good luck with the flippers! 🙂
Karen says
Hi Lehea,
It wouldn’t be half bad if he was hot! 😉
Ellery says
1. Show girl, it’d be so fun!
2. The pink one. 😉
3. The narator. I’d probably sleep so he wouldn’t do much narating!
Karen B says
I’ll be impossibly graceful 😉
Karen Bs last blog post..Happy Birthday Lisa! ♥
Karen says
Hi Ellery,
Rock that pink suit, homie! 😉
Karen says
Hi Karen B.,
I figured you would be! I’d make it all but two feet and then I’d go tumbling down! 🙂
Karen B says
Of course. I think I could even pull off the flippers with the ostrich feathers on my head 😉
Karen Bs last blog post..We all float
Karen says
Hi Karen B.,
No doubt! And of course your makeup would be FIERCE!
Megan says
Girl…I love you must choose!
Okay for me – Scuba Suit, the olympic bathing suit and the narrator…seriously I would kill someone for spraying cool water every 10 minutes. My allergies would go nuts!
Jessica says
You Must Choose is the best!
1. Vegas showgirl, yet …
2. full coverage Olympic suit: can’t handle the thong in public — the showgirl outfit probably has a giant tail to hide my behind
3. romance novel guy: I wonder how long before it went from creepy to funny (or vice versa)? Like when you’re a kid and another kid keeps repeating everything you say.
Jessicas last blog post..New blogger at Bride’s Guide
Erin says
I am definitely going for a full scuba outfit, just because I would die laughing to see someone on a plane in scuba gear, even if it was me!
I’d probably have to go for the Olympic suit, as I burn sooo easily!
And definitely the romance novel guy. I might puke with the other guy.