It has come to my attention that the cat in question may have motives other than corporate espionage, and so therefore the company will postpone pursuing further legal action against said kitty intruder until the next Tabs the Cat Industries, LLC board meeting.
While I truly appreciate your offer with a soft purr and a whisker lick, I have to disclose the truth to you. I am not interested in stealing the secrets of your outstanding career, of which I am an enormous fan. I am not stalking you, spying on you, or intending to harass you. I am following your assistant. I hear she has the best gravy in town, and I am desperate to try a taste. Its the talk of the neighborhood and it is all I can think about. ALL. DAY. LONG. If there is any chance that you could leave a bowl of said gravy out by the fallen green watering can, I would forever be in your debt. I promise to groom you daily and chase away any sabotagers to you career – especially that drooling idiot of a dog on Maple Lane. Please reply at your earliest convenience.
I am intrigued by your offer of free grooming and personal security services in exchange for some of my assistant’s award-winning gravy. The executive committee will discuss your proposal at this month’s board meeting.
It takes a brave cat to explain, even diplomatically, to Tabs that it is his assistant – and not Tabs, himself – who is in demand in this case. Luckily he is handling it well. 🙂
I understand your frustration Tabs. My cat Blaow also has to deal with this problem from invading neighbor cats. He’s always alert on post looking for any interlopers. And there are quite a few! He’s even had a mild scuffle or two. When I come outside to investigate they run back to their territory! Some cats don’t know their place! Never surrender Tabs!!
Susan T. says
Lol! That is a super cute black kitty but he is definitely a creeper. Right in your yard too! The nerve!
tabs says
Meow Susan,
It has come to my attention that the cat in question may have motives other than corporate espionage, and so therefore the company will postpone pursuing further legal action against said kitty intruder until the next Tabs the Cat Industries, LLC board meeting.
Forehead taps and nose kisses,
Tabs
erin says
Dear Tabs,
While I truly appreciate your offer with a soft purr and a whisker lick, I have to disclose the truth to you. I am not interested in stealing the secrets of your outstanding career, of which I am an enormous fan. I am not stalking you, spying on you, or intending to harass you. I am following your assistant. I hear she has the best gravy in town, and I am desperate to try a taste. Its the talk of the neighborhood and it is all I can think about. ALL. DAY. LONG. If there is any chance that you could leave a bowl of said gravy out by the fallen green watering can, I would forever be in your debt. I promise to groom you daily and chase away any sabotagers to you career – especially that drooling idiot of a dog on Maple Lane. Please reply at your earliest convenience.
Fantastically,
Left Turn
Rosemary says
*claps* LOL
tabs says
Dear Left Turn,
I am intrigued by your offer of free grooming and personal security services in exchange for some of my assistant’s award-winning gravy. The executive committee will discuss your proposal at this month’s board meeting.
Sincerely,
Tabs
Kim says
It takes a brave cat to explain, even diplomatically, to Tabs that it is his assistant – and not Tabs, himself – who is in demand in this case. Luckily he is handling it well. 🙂
Kiss & Make-up says
Wow, intruder alert, intruder alert!
Jessica says
Paparazzi!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pamela Haddad says
Well said Tabs! Always the professional. No wonder we love you!
denise S says
I understand your frustration Tabs. My cat Blaow also has to deal with this problem from invading neighbor cats. He’s always alert on post looking for any interlopers. And there are quite a few! He’s even had a mild scuffle or two. When I come outside to investigate they run back to their territory! Some cats don’t know their place! Never surrender Tabs!!
tabs says
Hi Denise!
It’s a constant struggle. *sigh* I mean, why do I waste my time marking my territory if every cat is just going to ignore my signs??
Erin says
Awwww Left Turn is adorable! He’s just jealous of your cushy life, Tabs! Not all kitties have it as good as you do :).