Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 353

Published in: Just For Fun, Tabs

Dear Tabby

Dear Tabby is written by Tabs the cat, widely considered “the world’s first plus-size kitty supermodel.” Founded in mid 2012, it has quickly become the most popular cat advice column on earth — known for its fresh, feline perspective on lifestyle, fashion and style issues affecting cats and humans.

A cat wonders if he should conform

cat-hoodie-style

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‘Tsup Tabby,

Up ’round the NYC they call me DJ Scratches, but my real name is Dorian Gray. My crew and I just relocated from the city to a small town upstate, and I’m having a hard time connecting with the locals. None of the cats here understand my style, and they tease me and whatnot.

The cats here are more preppy, and maybe I am a little bit out there, but I mean, should I change my style to fit in? I respect your opinion, Tabby.

-Out of Place Upstate

Be yourself

Be yourself

DEAR OUT OF PLACE: The beauty of fashion is individuality. Please do not change your style to appease someone else. The world would be a boring place if we didn’t have style rebels and cats with unique points of view like yourself, so keep doing what you’re doing.

May I suggest starting a style blog to bridge the divide and create a place where different styles are celebrated? It might coax other cats in your area into expressing themselves.

There is no “I” in team

cat-man-nudist

Dear Tabby,

I’ve been booking a lot of kitty modeling jobs lately with this guy named Boris because we have fantastic camera chemistry, but behind the scenes we hate each other.

Honestly, I don’t know how much longer I can take it, but the pay is really good. Basically, if I could find a way to get them to fire Boris and hire a replacement, things would be great, but how should I go about doing that?

-Bye Bye Boris

It's about the job

It’s about the job

DEAR BYE BYE: Well, you don’t. I hate to break it to you, but in this industry, you have to learn how to work with others. It’s about being professional for the job, and you might as well learn that now, because you can’t be pulling that diva sh*t as a mid-tier kitty model. Once you’ve been on the cover of five or six magazines, then maybe you could be the diva, but for now you have to learn how to play the game. Suck it up.

Cute cat seeks recruitment advice

cat-flowers

Dear Tabby,

I have been trying unsuccessfully to court a young lady in my neighborhood because she’s a good cook and gives the best massages. I would very much like her to be my new assistant.

We’ve hung out a few times casually (she made me sashimi once; it was to die for), but now I’m seeking a commitment. I’ve tried flowers, but they didn’t work. What can I do to seal the deal?

-Holding Court

Charmed, I'm sure

Charmed, I’m sure

DEAR HOLDING COURT: You have to woo her, and it’s more than just flowers, although that was a good start. Every time you see her, I want you to be on your best behavior. Readily give her purrs, and really throw your weight into your kitty hugs, because they can tell when you’re half-@ssing it. Be your most attentive, alert, loving self.

And also, bring her presents. Mice are great, as are birds.

Woman wonders if there’s such a thing as too many cat tattoos

cat-woman-tattoo

Dear Tabby,

I just got my first cat tattoo, and I love it! It’s a drawing of my cat Foxy Brown.

I really like how it turned out, and I’m already planning my next cat tattoos, but my friends think I shouldn’t get any more. They think it could be a boyfriend deterrent.

What do you think? How many cat tattoos are too many?

-Tons of Tabbies

Sometimes less makes more of a statement

DEAR TONS OF TABBIES: Usually when it comes to accessories I believe that more is more, but when it comes to cat tattoos, I think that one big statement piece is enough. It gives you more options for other accessories to wear with it.

My suggestion: paws for a while. Don’t rush. Just take some time to think about it.

Cat with a question about her modeling portfolio

cat-graduation-photo-1

cat-graduation-photo-2

Dear Tabby,

I’m trying to decide what to wear for some kitty modeling glamor shots for my portfolio. Which do you like better — androgynous chic or flirty and sweet?

-Glamor-puss

Cat swimming

Presentation is everything

DEAR GLAMOUR-PUSS: That’s easy! Both. It’ll show your range, and I can see that you have a lot of potential.

Best of luck to you. If you need any help in the business, get in touch. Contact my people, because I also own my own kitty modeling agency.

Stay fabulous,

Tabs

13 Comments

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  1. Tanya says:

    Tabs gives the best advice!!
    Hope you took some time to relax over the holiday weekend….
    P.S. Love the “nerd look” 😉

  2. Vijaya says:

    “And also, bring her presents. Mice are great, as are birds.” Don’t forget some unfortunate chipmunks and squirrels. XP
    Vijaya recently posted … Macarons, Honey Rose Rainbow and Spicy Cumin Seitan at Taste Asia!

  3. Jennifer says:

    Tabs!

    I need advice for a cat who wants to remain nameless. My kitty friend has gained a lot of weight and isn’t sure what to do about it. Would it be better for him to have his owner take him for daily walks or reduce the crunch portions? Or buy diet crunch? Or cut back on the mouse meat?
    Please help my friend. He’s quite unhappy about the size of his belly.

    Thanking you in advance,

    A catcerned friend
    Jennifer recently posted … Free Downloadable Image for You + Maine Flowers

    • tabs says:

      Dear Catcerned Friend,

      Peak kitty modeling performance requires both a fluffy tum and endurance, and I can tell you the approach that I took earlier this year to get myself modeling fit and trim.

      On the advice of my nutritionist and personal physician, I cut back on crunchies and increased my intake of low-carb wet food (completely serious). We also replaced my old dry food, which contained a lot of starchy veggies, with a grain- and potato-free low-glycemic food from a brand called Nutrisca.

      Incidentally, it’s often recommended by vets for mature cats and cats that are pre-diabetic.

      My new favorite wet food is ZiwiPeak Venison and Fish Recipe, which is delish and low in carbs, but it’s also expensive. The Sheba brand Premium Pate Chicken and Liver Entree, which is available at most grocery stores, is also tasty and much less expensive.

      Good luck in your fitness journey.

      Kitty hugs and kisses,
      Tabs

  4. Isis the Cat says:

    Tabs,
    My co-feline housemates are stupid. No, really, they are. Very, very, stupid. They follow me around. They eat my food. They get in the way. They sleep in my boxes. They annoy me.

    I do slap them across the face but it is not getting me very good results.

    How can I make them less stupid and bend to my queenly will?

    xoxo
    Queen Isis of the Fur
    Isis the Cat recently posted … A Whole Lot of Utah Landscape 2

  5. Tabs I am not stupid I am perfect. Isis was only talking about Pebbles. I think. I’m not sure. Do you think she was only talking about Pebbles?
    -Furball
    Furball the Wonder Cat recently posted … A Whole Lot of Utah Landscape 2

  6. Icequeen81 says:

    that cat with the hoody ooooh gosh

  7. Kat says:

    This is pretty much the greatest thing, lol!

    Kat ♥ http://www.pastelwhimsy.com

  8. Preach! No need to change yourself or your style for anyone! No to conformity! Say it with me, kitties!

    😉
    Kiss & Make-up recently posted … Review | Caudalie Make-up Removing Cleansing Oil

  9. Chelsea says:

    Lovely and enlightening as usual, Tabby!

  10. Denise S says:

    These scenarios are so creative and LOL funny!

  11. Kristin Mc says:

    That’s some sage advice right there! Way to go, Tabs!

  12. Pamela Haddad says:

    Those are SO adorable!!! Thanks, Tabbs!!

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