Sundays with Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 146

Published in: Just For Fun

Tabs: smooth criminal

Tabs and I have been business partners/roommates going on four years now, and all things considered, we have a pretty good relationship. He leaves my food alone (I had this one roommate who always ate my food without asking; it was SO ANNOYING), pays his share of the rent, does his share of the work (kitty modeling), and doesn’t hog the bathroom.



And he’d be the perfect kitty colleague if it weren’t for a few blemishes on his otherwise spotless record. Things like…

1. The Christmas Tree Incident

Tabs and the Christmas tree incident

There’s still no conclusive evidence proving that Tabs was the one who knocked over the Christmas tree last year, but he’s still the prime suspect in the case. After examining the forensics (pine needles found on the suspect’s cat tower, wet paw prints leading away from the scene of the crime), experts believe that it was probably Tabs.

2. Edward Scissorpaws Unleashed!

The Edward Scissorpaws incident

Because Tabs is generally such a loving, good-natured kitty, his outburst a few months ago came as a huge shock to us all.

We were playing around his cat tower at the time. I was shaking his feather on a stick. Chasing it has always been one of his favorite games, and I leaned in to give him a kiss on the head.

Suddenly, there was a blur of brown, black and tan motion in front of me! I felt a whoosh of air and a soft tap on my cheek.

Wha!? For the first time ever, he’d taken a swipe at my face, and it left behind a very light scratch.

I think he was just feeling extra feisty that day, or perhaps for a moment forgot that I’m not a cat. I’ve forgiven him since then…but he was on my sh*t list for a while.

3. Sushi the Fish, Meet Tabs the Cat

Tabs and the Sushi incident

El Hub used to have a betta fish named Sushi, who has since moved on to a better place. Sushi lived in a gorgeous glass apartment at the top of Novato Towers (the hutch in the living room), with amazing views of the TV and coffee table in the valley below.

We really thought the 7-foot-tall hutch was out of Tabs’ reach, but on Sushi’s very first night in his new apartment, Tabs engineered a way to haul his 20-pound body to the top.

Novato Tower’s security had been breached!

I was just coming down the stairs when I saw it, Tabs’ chubby paw poised above Sushi’s bowl. “Noooo!” I roared from across the room, startling Tabs, who then hopped back down to the floor.

Sushi’s life was spared. “How the hell did you get up there!?” I demanded from Tabs.

Of course, I received no reply…

For the record, Sushi went on to live a long, full fish life after the incident, and when he finally passed, Tabs was not involved in his demise. :)

4. The Great Escape!

Tabs and the great escape

Aside from his daily leash walks outside, Tabs is now a full-time indoor kitty. Sometimes, though, I think he really misses his previous outdoor life. He’s tried to escape a couple of times…

5. The Tabby Under the Stairs

Tabs and the ankle incident

Tabs goes through phases where he’ll covertly swipe at the ankles of people coming down the stairs. You can usually spot him down there and see a little paw shooting out, but once he scratched El Hub pretty badly with a claw caught in El Hub’s big toe.

Now we both hop over the bottom steps, just to be safe. :)

What’s the naughtiest thing your pet has ever done?

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

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  1. Terri says:

    I love reading about Tabs’s exploits. You tell them with such panache and humor (even though I’m sure they weren’t funny at all at the time).

    My cat, who we had to put down last month (it was an awful experience for everyone involved), could be incredibly naughty. He loved attacking wires and chewed through them on a regular basis. Nothing was safe from his chewing – cell phone chargers, electrical cords, Christmas lights. He also loved to knock things over, especially early in the morning when we weren’t getting up soon enough to suit him. He would sit on the bedside table and look at us while he would push whatever was close by (a glass of water, a book, my eyeglasses) onto the floor with his paw.

    Sadly, this is only scratching the surface of his bad behavior…

  2. Vixen says:

    “I’ve forgiven him since then…but he was on my sh*t list for a while.”

    LOL

  3. Vanessa says:

    I love reading about Tabs and his many adventures! My current kitties, La Gata and Chairman Meow, get into plenty of trouble. La Gata has what we call the “tummy trap” wherein she will show her tummy off and look all cute like we should pet her. The minute your hand touches her tummy she will claw you. We call her our “looking” cat. Chairman Meow is more like a dog who lets me carry him around like a baby and likes to meow at us like we’re having a conversation. We can hear him across our apartment complex.

    Thanks for all the Tabs updates-I look forward to all the cute cat pictures!

  4. Crystal says:

    Jinx my cat has had a history of being really sneaky. I remember one day I got roses and I put them on the living room table for a very short time while I got something from another room. I came back and Jinx was sitting on the couch like she was minding her own business except there was baby’s breath (that white stuff they add) hanging out of her mouth. I was amazed that she was sitting there looking so innocent when it was obvious that she had been messing with my flowers and stopped and laid down before I came into the room.
    Oh and then there is the time she scratched my cornea…she is always good for some drama.
    Crystal recently posted … Kissable Couture Johnny Lipgloss

  5. Grace says:

    I have a very naughty 3-year-old Maltipoo named Baby. She’s so darn cute though…ugh. Her most recent evil deed was chewing the arm rest of our new $1,000 couch. Grrr.

  6. Heidi says:

    We’ve completely given up on the concept of putting up a Christmas tree. Anything shiny and dangling is just too tempting for Missy. No actual Christmas Tree Incidents, but many near misses.

    When Missy was first with us she went through a phase of bringing lizards into the house (alive) and letting them loose. They would eventually crawl under the linen closet door and we’d have to try to get them out. Fun!

    Oh, and then she went through a period of time when she was younger when she would pee in places other than the litter box! Really glad that phase didn’t last long!

    Pets are totally worth the occasional issues, though. They bring so much joy and love into our lives.

  7. Nina says:

    Tabs you are awesome! :)

    LOL (aka Napoleon) says hi, and that you look like you could be brothers from another mother!

  8. Tekoa says:

    Both Luna and Jasper have ridden the Christmas tree to the ground. This has occured on multiple years. Luna has a tendency to pick up rings in her mouth and trot around the house with them. Picture a diamond ring adorning the canine of a siamese. Once Jasper escaped from the house and went missing for hours. She was found up a pine tree by a neighbour later that night. We rescued her and the poor kitty smelled like sap for weeks. When I heard her frantic meowing, I cried (to my later embarassment) “MY BABY!” What I ment to say was “Oh my beloved kitten, how happy I am to have found you!” Instead I sounded like a mother whos baby is trapped in a burning building. (lol)

  9. Radhika says:

    Tabs did all that???!!! I think what happened was the Christmas tree fell on its own and poor Tabs was caught under it, just barely managed to escape getting crushed, and ran away to the tower…hence the needles and the paw marks. And Tabs just happened to be there under that tree…he was doing nothing…absolutely not trying to climb on that tree…not at all. I have been watching too much of the totmom coverage :D

  10. Biba says:

    LOL

    This post just made my morning! :D

  11. Instant Karma says:

    LOL excellent Tabs stories! I’m glad the fish survived! When I was in kindergarten, I won two goldfish, and oddly enough, my cats never tried to eat them. They would drink from the bowl, though, and bat at the outside. It was like they were playing tag. It was really cute!

    As for amusing tales of naughty kitties, a month or so after my family adopted Aisha (back when I was a little kid), we had roast chicken for dinner. She hopped on the table and was being really sweet, so we decided to let her stay up there. Turns out, she was just lulling us into a false sense of security! When we weren’t paying attention, she darted over to the plate, and grabbed a piece of chicken twice the size of her head. She then jumped down from the table, running off into the hallway with her spoils.

    Tigger used to enjoy playing tricks on my mother, LOL (it’s a long story, and I’m getting tired — I can tell you later :) ). It doesn’t happen anymore because Tiggy and my mom have grown very close; however, once upon a time (he was a stray my grandparents adopted, and then we got him after both of them had passed away), they were not particularly fond of each other.

    A cat I had growing up, Iceman (Aisha’s half brother), used to pounce upon my feet if they moved while I slept. Luckily, he only did this for a couple months as a kitten. I’m especially glad he stopped, considering how huge he grew to be! He was a 20 pound cat; he was basically a linebacker in cat form. He was a very sweet (and adorable) kitty, though :).
    http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-ash1/v112/125/46/4301710/n4301710_30704145_3360.jpg
    http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-ash1/v112/125/46/4301710/n4301710_30704155_7985.jpg

    Finally, the two cats my family had when I was born, Lizzie and Chuckie, played this adorable/naughty game together where Chuckie would climb in a plastic bag and Lizzie would bat at her in it. Occasionally, Chuckie would surprise Lizzie with a swipe of her own!

  12. Natalie says:

    Ha Tabs is my hero! He sure knows how to keep you on your toes! The worst kitty incident my babies have ever put me through was several years ago when I was moving. I didn’t want the kitties to get out during the move, so I carted them over to my parents for a few days. Well, Feff decided to go missing! Needless to say, I was hysterical, crying and carrying on. No one could find her and I even went so far as calling all the animal shelter around town and posting “Lost” posters around my parents neighborhood. Allof this was to no avail. Devastated, I returned to my new apartment to mourn my loss. Two weeks later I get a call at 5am from my dad saying he had found Feff! Apparently, she wasn’t to happy to be dumped at my parents house and had retreated to my dad’s garage! She had been living and hiding in the messy, junk filled space for 2 weeks! Luckily my dad keeps cat food and a litter box in the garage because his cat likes to hang out in there while he’s working! Argh! While overjoyed that I had my Feffy back I was so mad that she had hidden from all of us even after we combed the entire house calling her name!

  13. tiptoe shortbread says:

    We’ve 3 cats that’re all kinda of naughty. On incident involved a badly scratched nipple, there’ve been scratched faces, fighting with next doors cat through windows, falling into ponds and breaking their ribs and if they’re not fed by 6 a.m you can expect them to jump on the bed and smack you with their paw….still love them though….

  14. Advah says:

    Gosh our cats have done all sorts of naughty things, ranging from adorable to seriously infuriating (say goodbye to the caramelised apple cinnamon rolls still warm from the oven).

    One of them developed a habit when he was a kitten of somehow climbing on top of the pole holding the rope for drying clothes. He’d hang out up there, then, *somehow* would remove the pegs by biting them and let all the clothes fall on the ground. And always looked very smug doing so.

  15. morrigan says:

    Lmao!! I loved this post!!! My Mr. Smeagol is usually pretty good, but worst he’s done is take a …well.. a poo on my leg.. I forgave him only because he was only about four months at the time. Lol :) I forgive him anything because he has the cutest guilty face!

  16. Kim says:

    What an adorable post! I enjoyed it so much, and Tabs is a real pistol!

    My old cat Woogy Jones, who is no longer with us, loved to jump up on the kitchen counter to check things out when we weren’t around. One day, we found a package of fresh muffins had been ‘compromised’ with tiny teeth marks in the package and nibbles out of the muffins. Over the years, he got his paws on muffins whenever he could leading to a nickname of Muffin Man. I really miss that little guy….

  17. Chris25 says:

    Yep, when cats strike…run for cover.
    For the past two nights, Rock n’ Roll and Jazz have been raising hell, mostly because the boyfriend (who is the disciplinarian) is away for the weekend and they know I am powerless against them. They commandered the bedroom last night, wrestling with each other on the bed (while I desperately tried to get some sleep) and jumping up on the dresser.

  18. Andrea says:

    Umm : By cat sitting I lost a new net book mouse, I had just got it with the mail, I was waiting one week to get my mini mouse, specially for my net book, SHE come into my bed I trough was sweet she started smelling it and then she did give it a bite in the cable it was so quick I could not even stop it. I had to buy another one the first one was useless ( she did bite the cable in halve)

    My belated dog, I was sitting with him outside when he suddenly started to pie on my back again was so quick no time to react.

    My current Dog: He lost his blue stuffed animal he like to chew on it, I was looking with him where it was when i suddenly felt a paw on my leg ( was his way to show me that he saw it and where it was) but he could not help that his claws did harm me

  19. Nicky Bromow says:

    a few weeks ago, my tabby cat fell from my lap and literally ripped my leg, I have a 7 inch scratch that will last for life : (

  20. Maribeth says:

    Goodness this post made me crack up! I needed a good laugh this AM lying here on my couch with a sinus infection watching totmom case and longing to go to the pool (hubby says no and I sorta agree). The naughtiest thing my collie does (and conti nues to do) is hog the best spots on the couch, or on the bed, or how he smoothly leans against us if we’re on HIS favorite spots and tries to inch us out. Also he will mischieviously chew up my grocery coupons off the table before I cut them out. Seriously, your Tabs antics gave me a few good chuckles esp the 7ft climb up to Suschi…lol

  21. Maribeth says:

    Goodness that was so funny! Thanks Karen I needed that as I lie here on my couch with a sinus infection longing to go to the pool ( overruled by hubbby and I agree). Love the Sushi the fish story as well as hopping the bottom step! Cracked me up! My collie is Mr Mischief. He always hogs the best spots on the couch and our bed and if we’re “in his spot” he will gently lean on us and then start to nudge us – inch by inch – till we’re hanging off the couch or clinging to the edge of the bed. He also shreds my Sunday insert grocery coupons just to where the expiration date is. He’s so cute we let him get away with mostly everything. Thanks for the good laugh!

  22. AK says:

    OMG this is hysterical. Karen, you are the master of conveying the trials of being a cat owner (AKA personal assistant). I thoroughly enjoyed this post, thank you for providing some laughter therapy :D

    When I was a cat lady, my kitty would go through phases of ankle swiping. Sometime it migrated to the calf region, and I soon armed myself with a spray bottle. That fixed the problem – I think it only took 3 squirts to the face for him to get the message. Milo would also try to slip out the door like a silky shadow.

  23. Stacey says:

    I love cats but am just too allergic so I have a CSD – cat sized dog. Giggy is a chubby long haired chihuahua and he is also a thief. My 8 year old daughter got her ears pierce recently and one day, I was changing her earrings placing the old pair on the coffee table and Giggy was watching us. I thought I placed the simple silver studs out of his reach and went to get another pair. When I got back, yes, they were gone. My daughter said she didnt see anything. So thinking he’d swallowed the studs I tore up the living room looking for him. He was under the couch where he indeed had his treasure-the silver earings thankfully not eaten. So, we have to keep shiney things out of his sight now.

  24. Jenna says:

    Ha! This is definitely the best Sundays with Tabs the Cat yet.

  25. Stef Smith says:

    My daughter’s face is permanently scarred because of our cats. She deserved every bite and scratch though. Our cats are outside cats, and they bring us all sorts of “gifts”, mice, gopher heads (the bottoms must taste good), bird legs and tons of feathers. We love them!

  26. Stephanie R says:

    Let’s see….Smoky got out of the house and was lost for nearly three weeks. One of my guests over had left the front door slightly cracked, and Smoky was able to get it open and outside. We didn’t notice he was missing until the next morning when I fed all of our cats (we have four) and he didn’t come. That led to hanging lost posters EVERYWHERE, going out at night when most people weren’t driving and staying home from work to look for him. We finally found him when a lady called and said she found him. See, Smoky likes to put his paw on your arm or leg when he wants you to keeping paying attention to him, rolls over for belly rubs, and is VERY vocal. Of course, he is also very naughty-we have put flowers on top of our cupboards and the baby’s breath will go missing or be on the countertops come morning.

    I have a permanent scratch right in the middle of my chest (I was wearing a scoopneck at the time) from Lucky. He hates the vet and HATES the carrier even more. Cue him fighting tooth and nail to get away. Since the scratching and scarring incident, he is now wrapped in a towel before he gets into the carrier.

    Lady will hide underneath any table or bed where you can’t see her and swipe at you. I just missed being clawed on my ankle yesterday! And she poops on the floor instead of her litterbox to “tell” you to clean it.

    Gizmo is the last troublemaker. A month or so after I brought her and her sister Lady home from the shelter, my rubber bands for my hair started going missing. Turned out she was chewing on them and SWALLOWING THEM! She ended up costing us $2500 for surgery, etc. My sister was in school for veterinary assistant at the time and took a good sized ball of the rubber bands that had been in Gizmo’s tummy to class to show. And if she can find them, she’ll still chew on them.

  27. Emily says:

    Oh my, where can I begin? Shall I discuss the fact that my cat has decimated the local chipmunk population, or that she often likes to snuggle right after she has been playing with the water in the toilet bowl, perhaps the fact that she loves to clean herself and sleep inside my dresser drawers atop my freshly folded laundry? No, I would have to say that it was after I had grown rather fond of a dried tree frog I had found. Such a unique specimen required a top hat and a tiny cane, and became known as our very own WB dancing frog. Well, sadly to say, after a few days on vacation, I came home to find my WB frog gone, all that was left was the tiny top hat and cane..

  28. irini says:

    When my german shepherd was a puppy, he used to do all kinds of things that made me bang my head against a wall. However, one of the funniest and naughtiest things he did is this: we had a small Christmas party at a friend’s house,and we had some leftover food and my friend decided to give it to us to take back home for my pup. When we went home, we left food conveniently on the dinner table, in order to give it to my pup later. However, the little devil didn’t know the food was for him,and he reached on the table, took down the food, and ate it as fast as he could. You can imagine my surprise upon seeing a bloated puppy and not even a trace of food( he even ate the foil in which the food was wrapped in!) Well, at least that bloating gave him a lesson in eating food that doesn’t belong to him ;)

  29. Jenny says:

    I have a kitty who is a food thief. And he’s damn good at it. Tabby (guess the breed) can sit in the same room as the food that’s being prepared/eaten, seeming totally indifferent to what’s going on. And if you step away for 30 seconds, chances are when you come back he’ll be all over the yummies. There was this one memorable incident when I left the room but left my mostly empty bag of Doritos on my desk (he doesn’t care about chips most of the time). I came back to find him on my chair with his head in the bag. I yelled in surprise and he started and lifted his head, now wearing the bag of Doritos over his head. He abandoned it quickly and left the premises as I was still keening in shock.

  30. Erin says:

    I loved this post!!! I have a kitty who loves water and will jump into the kitchen sink and turn the faucet on. I suppose she isn’t very environmentally friendly. My sweet little terrier mix has a penchant for my panties, but only my very nice ones.

  31. Erin says:

    One more thing, and this is a bit morbid, my mom’s cat lives outside and hunts bunnies. He only likes their heads though, so she periodically finds headless bunny bodies in the yard and sometimes in the garage. We call him the bunny slayer. That is pretty gross isn’t it. Happy 4th of July!

  32. Jenn says:

    K, you forgot about the time Tabs was caught by the police doing lines of catnip with some random Persian cat in the bathroom of a club in NYC. I understand if it’s too sensitive a topic for you to write about, but the incident was on TMZ and all of the blogs so I think the public should know ALL of Tabs’ exploits, lol.

    My dog has done everything from hiding my keys (so I can’t leave her) to opening cabinet doors (to get her own treats) to eating any and all fabric softeners (her kryptonite) to taking licks of my ice cream when she thinks I’m not looking. :-/

  33. betsy says:

    I had a dog growing up who chewed up a dog obedience we had checked out from the library. The librarians thought that was hilarious.

  34. Erika says:

    Sooo funny love your cat stories!!! LOL@ vanessa, Chairman Meow!!!!!!hahahaha

  35. Fiona says:

    I’m usually a dog person, but I love cats with unique personalities! Hahaha. And it’s funny that you named your fish Sushi – with a name like that, how could Tabs resist? :P

    Maybe ankle swiping is Tabs’ game of whack the mole?
    Fiona recently posted … Nail Art: Patriotic American Flag Nail Art & Tutorial

  36. Maca says:

    My two cats so adorably like to bring me gifts. In the form of socks, underwear, washcloths and even pajama bottoms they steal from my neighbors. Almost every day I see our backyard covered in stuff, sometimes they even deliver the goods to my room. Every couple of days I return everything (much to my embarrassment), but since they choose the house directly behind ours, I have to walk like to blocks to get there. Such angels…

  37. megan says:

    Your Tabs posts are soooo funny!!!

  38. Nichole Clark says:

    When I was growing up we had a 25 pound Maine Coon named Elvis. One Christmas my mom had lit pretty evergreen scented candles on the coffee table for some tres chic 1990′s ambiance. Since Elvis was not much of a jumper no one gave the low level of the candles a second thought. That is, until we smelled a weird burning smell mixed with faux evergreen. We looked to the coffee table and there was Elvis perched on top {I swear to God the next part is true} watching “It’s a Wonderful Life” while swaying his tail back and forth through the flame of the candles without a clue that his beautiful fluffy tail was lit up like a torch! I was 11 and terrified seeing my beloved en fuego so I let out a screeching that humans rarely make. My mother sprang into action and leapt at the poor animal who now had a look that said “what? can’t a man enjoy Jimmy Stewart at his finest?” then he ran away from my mom {who was sportin’ a look of psychosis} & I {still shrieking} while STILL ON FIRE! Now my mom’s panic went from “the cat could get hurt” to “the cat is going to burn our house down 2 days before Christmas” and the chase was on. Hearing the commotion my dad came out of his office wondering what on Earth we were up to. I saw the look cross his face, in 1.5 seconds he took in shrieking child, panicked wife, and flaming cat then swooped in and threw himself at the cat to extinguish the poor animal. Luckily Elvis was never aware of the fact that he was on fire and his fur was so long that he never got hurt…well except for his pride when he finally noticed the singed fur on his once beautiful tail. Our house smelled like burning cat for a week afterward and to this day fake evergreen smell makes me go to a dark place. My sweet Elvis went to kitty heaven about 5 years ago but every Christmas we tell the tail tale.

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