Tabs and I have been business partners/roommates going on four years now, and all things considered, we have a pretty good relationship. He leaves my food alone (I had this one roommate who always ate my food without asking; it was SO ANNOYING), pays his share of the rent, does his share of the work (kitty modeling), and doesn’t hog the bathroom.
And he’d be the perfect kitty colleague if it weren’t for a few blemishes on his otherwise spotless record. Things like…
1. The Christmas Tree Incident
There’s still no conclusive evidence proving that Tabs was the one who knocked over the Christmas tree last year, but he’s still the prime suspect in the case. After examining the forensics (pine needles found on the suspect’s cat tower, wet paw prints leading away from the scene of the crime), experts believe that it was probably Tabs.
2. Edward Scissorpaws Unleashed!
Because Tabs is generally such a loving, good-natured kitty, his outburst a few months ago came as a huge shock to us all.
We were playing around his cat tower at the time. I was shaking his feather on a stick. Chasing it has always been one of his favorite games, and I leaned in to give him a kiss on the head.
Suddenly, there was a blur of brown, black and tan motion in front of me! I felt a whoosh of air and a soft tap on my cheek.
Wha!? For the first time ever, he’d taken a swipe at my face, and it left behind a very light scratch.
I think he was just feeling extra feisty that day, or perhaps for a moment forgot that I’m not a cat. I’ve forgiven him since then…but he was on my sh*t list for a while.
3. Sushi the Fish, Meet Tabs the Cat
El Hub used to have a betta fish named Sushi, who has since moved on to a better place. Sushi lived in a gorgeous glass apartment at the top of Novato Towers (the hutch in the living room), with amazing views of the TV and coffee table in the valley below.
We really thought the 7-foot-tall hutch was out of Tabs’ reach, but on Sushi’s very first night in his new apartment, Tabs engineered a way to haul his 20-pound body to the top.
Novato Tower’s security had been breached!
I was just coming down the stairs when I saw it, Tabs’ chubby paw poised above Sushi’s bowl. “Noooo!” I roared from across the room, startling Tabs, who then hopped back down to the floor.
Sushi’s life was spared. “How the hell did you get up there!?” I demanded from Tabs.
Of course, I received no reply…
For the record, Sushi went on to live a long, full fish life after the incident, and when he finally passed, Tabs was not involved in his demise.
4. The Great Escape!
Aside from his daily leash walks outside, Tabs is now a full-time indoor kitty. Sometimes, though, I think he really misses his previous outdoor life. He’s tried to escape a couple of times…
5. The Tabby Under the Stairs
Tabs goes through phases where he’ll covertly swipe at the ankles of people coming down the stairs. You can usually spot him down there and see a little paw shooting out, but once he scratched El Hub pretty badly with a claw caught in El Hub’s big toe.
Now we both hop over the bottom steps, just to be safe.
What’s the naughtiest thing your pet has ever done?
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,