Who is Tabs the Cat? About six years ago I befriended a stray, flea-bitten tabby cat with a bad case of worms. I could see he’d fallen on hard times, but his profound knowledge of high fashion and department store cosmetics led me to believe that he was more than meets the eye. We became fast friends, and now he’s actually my boss (and a successful kitty model).
What the hell?! Whoa, whoa, whoa, woman — what’s with all the yelling? I was just taking a nap. I need my beauty sleep, you know, if I’m going to be up partying all night.
What’s that, you say? You’re trying to keep me awake so I sleep through the night? You know that doesn’t make a lick of sense, right? I do my best kitty modeling work in the middle of the night.
Case in point: my MAC shoot for the new Menagerie Collection. I shot that around 3 a.m. here in the living room.
Of course I did! How do you think it got done? MAC sent a crew over while you were sleeping on the job, and we shot it in a single take.
I don’t make these things up. And how would you know anyway? You’re always sleeping at the most inopportune moments. I swear, it’s like you turn into a pumpkin at midnight. You do know that in the kitty modeling world, everyone who’s anyone works at night?
Anyway, this convo is exhausting. If you need me, I’ll be napping in my office.
What? No, not the closet. My office — the one where you store all of your clothes.
And please don’t forget to post my kitty modeling pictures to my online portfolio today. My fans really look forward to seeing them.
P.S. This is Tabs again. Did you know that I kitty modeled at the grand opening for the Sephora store in Novato? Yeah, it was pretty fun. I gorged myself on the complimentary caviar and gravy.
Speaking of Sephora, my assistant arranged another giveaway for a $50 gift card. It ends on Monday at midnight. You should totally enter. -Tabs