9 Things I Wish I Didn’t Know

Published in: Just For Fun

makeup and beauty blog tabby got back
Driving home from the gym tonight I heard the song Baby Got Back on the radio, the 1992 smash hit by celebrated lyricist Sir Mix-a-Lot (LOL). I cannot stand that song, but for reasons unknown I am able to recite every single word of it. As soon as that intro starts I am compelled to sing: “I like big butts and I cannot lie! Those other brothers can’t deny!”

After subjecting El Hub to my questionable rapping skillz in the car I thought to myself, “Dang, I wish I didn’t know the words to Baby Got Back.” And so this list was born…

9 Things I Wish I Didn’t Know

  1. How hurtful people can be.
  2. The crunchy sound that a brand new Honda Civic makes when it hits a Brady Bunch-esque station wagon at an intersection in Vallejo, California.
  3. Writer’s block.
  4. How heartbreak feels.
  5. The names of all the characters in Family Guy. Both El Hub and my brother love the show and subject me to it often and against my will.
  6. The previous winners of Flavor of Love: Hoopz (Season 1) and Deelishish (Season 2). Give it up, Flav! You’re never going to find love on VH1, and all those hours spent watching your show take up valuable space in my brain that I could’ve filled with useful knowledge about rocket science and sea turtles.
  7. How it feels to doubt myself.
  8. The nausea that occurs while one is eating an apple and suddenly realizes there’s a live, green, wiggly worm inside it.
  9. How mortifying it is for a little sixth grade girl (we’ll call her Karen) to pass gas in a room full of sixth graders. Three words, ladies: scarred for life.

How about you? Do you have a list of things you wish you didn’t know? Leave them in the comments, or send them to me in an email if they’re too personal for the blog.

Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,

Karen

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  1. Tekoa says:

    9 things I wish I didn’t know

    1) I wish I didn’t know what a fry machine looks like at closing time (shutters).

    2) What a disfunctional family is like.

    3) The pain of handing over thousands of dollars for tuition

    4) What its like to have acne

    5) How many grams of fat 1/3 a cup of ice cream has

    6) How many items I’ve bought from MAC

    7) What its like to have an ovarian cyst rupture. (apparently its just as painful if not worse as giving birth)

    8. What a broken heart feels like

    9) How to recite the Temporal Prime Directive from Star Trek

  2. Breezy says:

    Ok first of all – Bwahahahhaaaa to your #9 – girl didn’t you blame it on someone else?! that’s the first line of defense haha. Ok ok here’s my list:

    -How it feels to be dissapointed in yourself
    -The heartbreak of a first love
    -The feeling of betrayel by a family member
    -About all sorts of disturbing videos on the internet
    -How gross boys can be!
    -What it feels like to be so stinkin broke
    -How much it sucks to have asthma
    -What its like to have some extra pounds on you ugh!!

  3. I wish I Didn’t Know:

    * Betrayal: from friends, exes, family, the works…

    * Stress: I hate knowing the fact that I know what stress is, because I would just consider it to be some sort of weird feeling I get when I have a test or a paper due

    * People who go missing and don’t show up for years

    * Death, especially people who left this world too soon, it just hurts too much to think about them.

    * To Gossip, how much it hurts people

    * How harsh the real world really is, seriously some people are just awful

    * Terminal illnesses, and how it destroys not only the person, but every single human being that has ever remotely associated with that person.

    * Divorce, it’s horrifying period.

    * Certain individuals (who are better unnamed) who existed in this world

    i♥makeup’s last blog post..Pratima Skincare & Spa

  4. That’s a great list hun. I totally know the crunchy sound you speak of.

    I wish I didn’t know:

    *Selfishness
    *How easily confidence can be lost
    *What it feels like to lose something so dear
    *Judgment
    *What it feels like to be emotionally hurt
    *Insecurity
    *What it feels like to see other people suffer and know you can’t do anything about it
    *Credit card debt
    *Parents who choose to not make an effort to be part of their children’s lives

    Mrs. Lynne, MakeupFix.net’s last blog post..Product Review: St. Ives Apricot Scrub – Renew & Firm

  5. Dao says:

    I’m not going to make a list, just came here to say Tabby is such a big boy.

  6. Glosslizard says:

    I don’t know if I can come up with nine things… lessee:

    1. The sound a bone in your body makes when it breaks

    2. What it looks like when a cat barfs up a chewed-slug and it’s accompanying slime all over your bed! Gah!

    3. The empty spot in your heart left by the death of a loved one

    4. The smell of rotten milk

    5. The sound of my voice as recorded by someone else

    6. The words to the Offspring song “Gone Away”, great tune, now it makes me cry!

    I know there’s more, but I’m not going to try too hard to think of them right now… if I can’t not know, at least I can enjoy temporarily forgetting! :)

    Happy Wednesday, everybody!

  7. Tanya says:

    Oh gosh- that’s too funny!! Last night I was singing “Baby Got Back” to my doggie, who DEFINITELY has some back on her ;D

    Okay, now for things I wish I didn’t know:

    -What it feels to be homesick (I was away from home for a month….but when I got to Europe I forgot all about home- so, maybe this doesn’t count? Heheh).

    -What it feels like to loose someone you love (I know, it’s just a part of life but it’s still so hard).

    -Heartbreak, of course. In the words of Adam Sandler: “Love Stinks!”.

    -Betrayal. Too many two-faced people in my life (And I no longer associate myself with them, thanksverymuch!).

    -Cancer (I won’t bust my sob story on here, but I just recovered from having my cancerous thyroids removed).

    -What it’s like being bullied (Had some horrible teasing when I was small- let’s just say I’ve “had back” since I was a kid).

    -What it’s like to be far away from people you love (I have the best friends in the world, but one lives 300 miles away and the other two live over on the opposite coast!)

    -How much money I’ve spent on my obsessions (not just cosmetics, but books, movies, concerts, and expensive out-of-print-imported vinyl records)

    -What it feels like to have such oily skin!! And have such a difficult skin tone so I can’t match my foundation just right!! Bahh!!! :)

    Tanya’s last blog post..Beauty Confessional Friday.

  8. amita says:

    Hey Karen!
    Stuff I wish I dint know, haan? Lots of it. Lessee…
    1. The fireworks I had so much fun with as a child, were made by child slave labour… YUCK!! I’ve never been near a firecracker again.
    2. All my favourite chocolate cookies contain trans-fats!
    3. I second Glosslizard on the voice recording thing (I sound like I’m trying to swallow my tongue, gross)
    4. The sight of someone swallowing a live baby octopus (eww! eww! major eww!)
    5. Not so innocent innuendo at work – the type where you have nothing to complain about, and nothing to be comfortable with.

    Thats enough. I’ll stop before I drown in depression.

    On a happier note, I just posted a very basic meditation technique I learned today. Do check it out, it works wonders!

    Tabby’s chooooooo chweeeeet aww…. I luuuuuuuurve cats.
    Have fun, y’all!!
    Amita

    amita’s last blog post..a day of omens ;)

  9. Ping. says:

    I don’t even know where to start

    1. how lonely weekends can be
    2. missing someone far away
    3. I’m getting fatter
    4. not being the best person I could
    5. heartbreak, definitely.
    6. crossroad.
    7. how different the heart and mind can be. (why can’t they just agree with something!)
    8. crying at 4 in the morning.
    9. how scary the world becoming.

    i think i will post my list in my blog haha.

  10. kyl says:

    9 Things I Wish I Didn’t Know…

    1. what it sounds like to listen to your mom cry in her room every night for a year
    2. how self righteous and judgmental people can be
    3. what a decomposing body smells like
    4. how long I’ll be paying off my school loans
    5. how dirty hospitals are
    6. anything about serial killers
    7. what it feels like to see your little brother in an ICU
    8. the words to any bon jovi song
    9. how hard it is to find jeans when you’re shaped like a woman and not a 12 year old boy

    kyl’s last blog post..Nail Of The Week

  11. Rowena says:

    You know Karen, I was thinking hard about this and I don’t think there is anything that I wish I didn’t know even all the bad things. That which does not kill us, and all that.

    Oh I know – I have heard horrific stories of Child Abuse and thats something I wish didn’t exist, as opposed to something I was ignorant to…but you know what I mean!

  12. Megan says:

    K.. agreed…great list…oh and BTW I know all the words too, but I actually dig the song. It’s actually one of my friends ringtones on my phone LOL. long story…

    Also Tanya…if you see this…I used to work with a drug used for the diagnostics in Thyroid cancer after the thyroidectomy (it can be used for ablation too). I’m not sure which form you had, but congrats on making it through the rough part, and I hope that all the news is good from here on out.

    Okay on to my list 9 things I wish I didn’t know:
    1 – I wish I didn’t know how bad it hurts to have your wisdom teeth removed and then projectile vomit because your allergic to the antibiotic they gave you and then end up with infection on one side and dry socket on the other.

    2 – I wish I didn’t know that 41% of all first marriages end in divorce…and yeah I know the numbers change from year to year….sometimes it’s 36%, sometimes it’s 43% but overall…the odds are scary as hell.

    3 – I wish I didn’t know anything about office politics.

    4 – I wish I didn’t know what it’s like to realize that someone you thought was a friend was fake.

    5 – I wish I didn’t know what it’s like to care about someone with a drug problem.

    6 – I wish I didn’t know what it’s like to be embarrassed of a family member.

    7 – I wish I didn’t know all the characters and plot lines of crazy old shows. (my friends make fun of me all the time for watching ols reruns…e.g. golden girls, matlock, murder she wrote, frasier, roseanne…LOL I can’t help it)

    8 – I wish I didn’t know what it feels like to give up on a dream.

    9 – I wish I didn’t know how to butcher a deer. This is my father’s fault and might have been a contributing factor to the past 11 years of vegetarianism.

  13. stina says:

    The 9 Things I Wish I Didn’t Know

    1. I wish I didn’t know how it feels to love, but not be loved.
    2. Do the ‘ring of fire’ from the latest cosmo mag.
    3. What it feels like to lose someone you love.
    4. What frogs legs look like. Ew.
    5. Why guys wear compression shorts while playing sports.
    6. My friend goes and gets smashed every weekend.
    7. What it feels like to lie to my best friend
    8. The texture of escargot. EWWWWW.
    9. What spews out of the toilet when you flush it.

  14. Karen says:

    Hi Tekoa,

    Now I’m curious. What does a fry machine look like at closing time?

  15. Karen says:

    Hi Breezy,

    I have asthma too! It sucks… I am not always good about having my inhaler, either. A few weeks ago I was having a bad spell and it took me forever to find it.

    Anyway, I know the extra pounds thing really well. Which reminds me, I gotta get ready to go to the gym!

  16. Karen says:

    Hey Iheartmakeup,

    If I could I’d give you a big hug, hon. Your list made me a lil’ teary…

  17. Karen says:

    Hi Lynne,

    Seriously? Did you get in a Vallejo car crash too? Damn if that wasn’t one of the worst days of my life…

    I’ve known your #2 during different points of my life… it always helps to have a cheerleader. If you ever need one, I’m here for you!

  18. Karen says:

    Hi Dao,

    Yah, he’s got some meat on him. He’s not a big cat, but his tummy and him bum aren’t exactly small, LOL. I love him..

  19. BIG HUG right back at you, that list made me cry as I was typing it, but you know what made me happy right after posting my list? Looking at Tabby, he’s a cutie pie, this one’s for you Tabby!

    MUUAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

    i♥makeup’s last blog post..Pratima Skincare & Spa

  20. Karen says:

    Hi Glosslizard,

    The cat barf… ewww!

    This is so random, but I’ve never broken a bone (knock on wood).

    And watchu talking about your voice, girl! It’s very pretty!

  21. Karen says:

    Hi Tanya,

    I have a very close friend who is a cancer survivor; I’m glad that you are recovering and hope that you stay healthy. Big hugs to you!

  22. Karen says:

    Hi Amita,

    Thanks for the meditation heads up. I’ve made a few attempts to learn some basic techniques… I am a little embarassed to say that every time I try I end up falling asleep. I think that’s a sign that I need to get to bed earlier.

    Since your fave chocolate chip cookies have trans-fats, this is the perfect excuse to find a new favorite that’s healthier for you and tastes just a good! I’m all about cookie experiments!

  23. Karen says:

    Hi Ping,

    You should! Send me your blog sometime, girl…

  24. Karen says:

    Hi Kyl,

    Your first item made me tear; I am finding myself getting tearier as I read everyone’s list, and wishing I could give everybody a virtual hug.

    Oh, and I wish I could erase my Bon Jovi song knowledge as well (and it’s extensive).

  25. Karen says:

    Hi Rowena,

    Totally with you on that one… I wish it didn’t exist, either.

  26. Karen says:

    Hi Megan,

    LOL, are you one of those girls that starts screaming and going crazy on the dance floor when it starts playing?

    I am an on/off vegetarian. Have you ever had the Morning Star Sausage Patties? Dang those things are good.

  27. Glosslizard says:

    Good, I hope you never break a bone too! It’s definitely no fun!

    Thanks for the kind words, you make me feel better! :)

  28. Karen says:

    Aww, Iheartmakeup! I’m glad Tabs was able to cheer you up. Next time I see him (he’s got me on a strict Wednesday-Thursday morning time slot, the bugger) I’ll give him a good scratch in your honor!

  29. Karen says:

    You’re welcome! It’s amazing how ones voice sounds when it’s played back… I have old tapes of a radio show I did in college years ago and when I listen to them I am convinced that it’s some girl impersonating me!

    Hope you had a good day! Did you go to Clinique? LOLOL

  30. Karen says:

    Hi Stina,

    Ewww! I don’t think I ever want to know what spews out the toilet. Or the compression shorts thing!

  31. Karen says:

    Hey everyone,

    Thank you for sharing your lists. As I kept reading each one I felt myself getting a little bit more emotional. Whenever I read your responses to these list posts I really feel like I get to know each one of you a bit more, but this one in particular really touched me. (I’m teary as I write this, awww.) Everybody’s got so many different sides to them, and I’m touched that you shared these bits of your life with me.

    (((Big, big, hugs)))

  32. Julie says:

    9 Things I Wish I Didn’t Know

    1. what it feels like to be so tired of your life that you try to end it.
    2. what happens at puppy mills
    3. what a broken heart feels like
    4. how much money I have spent on makeup this year L:)
    5. what it feels like to lose my only grandmother
    6. how inconsiderate and intolerant people are to each other
    7. what a hangover feels like
    8. that in our society pretty=skinny
    9. what it feels like to hurt someone else
    7.

  33. Julie says:

    Oops forgot – Tekoa – I totally understand the fryer at the end of the night. I worked in a restaurant for nine years!! YUCK!!

  34. Indian Girl says:

    Love you, Karen.
    I’ve been a regular on your blog for sometime now and read not just your wonderful posts but also the comments from your wonderful readers! Your blog is such a great form of therapy. It makes me think, reflect on my life and since I am young…I see myself learning so much about life apart from awesome makeup tips from you and other readers!!
    Kudos to you and lots n lost of love. Hope you never stop writing :)

    Indian Girl’s last blog post..LIFW Celebrity looks – On a budget ;)

  35. Victoria says:

    Hey Karen,
    9 things
    1. credit card debt
    2. betrayal from a family member or friend
    3. all the names of the guys on ghost hunters ( my husband favorite show) my least favorite – I feel ya on the family guy thing.
    4. how much fun it can be to engage in gossip ( im guilty)
    5. how good cake tastes maybe then I wouldn’t have soo much back
    ( lol)
    6. what snow looked like – I hate winter
    7. how to do taxes – I am quite popular this time of the year
    8. how to be so guarded when I meet new people
    9. how much it bothers me to leaving dishes in the sink- I can’t leave them out til morning I must rinse them and put them in the dishwasher!!

    that was fun!!

  36. Elle says:

    I love your site, Karen!

    My 9 things that I Wish I Didn’t Know:

    1. How it’s like to lose someone to death
    2. Being so far away from home (I live in Australia, my family is in Asia)
    3. The feeling you get when you swallow a fishbone and it gets stuck. Not. A. Good.Feeling
    4. Jealousy
    5. Doubting yourself and feeling low. Insecurity sucks.
    6. Being betrayed by someone you love
    7. How much I have spent on makeup!!!!! And on clothes and shoes.
    8. How it’s like not having perfect skin. It gets to me each time when I see some girls who don’t put in any effort to their skincare regime, and they have clear, even-toned NORMAL skin.
    9. Cellulite and stretch-marks!

  37. Megan says:

    LOL I am very very very close friends with one of those girls who would scream and go crazy when it came on…and I would be obliged to get up and dance with her of course.
    LOL yeah K I’ve had them and they are pretty good. My dad actually stocks up on them when he know’s I’m coming to visit. He’s still confused by the whole thing. For the first 7 to 8 years he would always ask “are you still not eating meat?” like it was a phase or something…at least he’s stopped doing that. But now my 7 year old nephew has discovered them and tries to hijack them…so my dad hides them from him. :-)

  38. I actually crashed my car in front of my apartment. Stupid right? You’d think I’d know my own street by then, duh.

    But thank you for offering to be my cheerleader :) Honestly, I do think of you when those days hit me and somewhere along the line I do ask myself, “what would Karen do”. You really are like my Ate from another mother, but it probably would just be too weird to actually say that so hence I go with Sis, lol.

    But I just thought of another thing that I wish I never knew and it’s to be conditional. I wish the world was more unconditional in the way that we all treat, respect, and love each other.

    Mrs. Lynne, MakeupFix.net’s last blog post..Product Review: MAC Mineralize SPF 15 Foundation (Loose)

  39. Glosslizard says:

    No, no Clinique for me yet! It’s spring break for the kids, so I’ve got my hands full! I’m plotting a trip for this weekend though!

  40. Tanya says:

    Karen and Megan,

    Thank you both so much, big big big hugs to you both :)

    Tanya’s last blog post..The Daily Lemming: Old British Man Edition

  41. Tekoa says:

    A fry machine in the cleaning process has a great amount of fat, oil and food bits everwhere. If you’re cleaning the fat trap (where they store the used fat) the smell is nausiating. I’d scrape the sides and the fat would just roll up like if you were shoveling snow. *shutters* I only eat fries (maybe) twice a year now.

  42. Karen says:

    Hey Julie,

    I wish I didn’t know how much money I spent on makeup this year either (oy).

  43. Karen says:

    Hi Indian Girl,

    Wow! What an amazing complement. You just made my oh-so-very tired self smile! :) Thank you for this, girl.

    I am glad you enjoy reading and hope that we get to chat again soon! Take care!

  44. Karen says:

    Hi Victoria,

    Are you an accountant? I have so many accountants in my life, it ain’t even funny. Both my parents were accountants (they are retired now) and my best friend is one too. The funny thing about this is that numbers aren’t my forte, yet I’m surrounded by numbers people.

    I loves me some cake too… especially baking them. I had to stop baking cakes form scratch because of the whole got much back thing too, LOL!

  45. Karen says:

    Hi Elle,

    Thank you, sweetie! :)

    Btw, I know how it feels to get a fishbone stuck in your throat, too. It’s awful and actually quite scary…

  46. Karen says:

    Hi Megan,

    LOLOL! So those crazy girls crack me up, because as I’m exiting the dance floor (Baby Got Back is my anti-dance anthem) I have to dodge all of the arms in the air and vigorously shaking bums. It’s a given that I get hit by some girl’s body part as she furiously rocks out. It’s happened so much to me that at this point it just makes me laugh.

    When I wasn’t eating meat my parents would do the same thing. Filipinos eat lots of meat dishes and both my mom and dad were would ask me if I was still not eating meat at least a few times a week, and that’s when I was living at home!

    That’s cute that your dad hides the patties for you, LOL.

  47. Karen says:

    Hey Lynne,

    OMG – I’ve done the same thing in front of my parents’ house. The funny thing is that several people have gotten into car scrapes in front of my parents house, too. Ot’s like a black hole for car trubs.

    I think that we all go through times when a “You got this, girl” is in order. :) All you gotta do is holla!

    Regarding that last thought – I agree wholeheartedly. Can you imagine what a world we would have if people just gave just cause, and not because they wanted something back? Holy crap we’d be a happier species in general.

  48. Karen says:

    Hi Glosslizard,

    Ahhh, no wonder I’ve been seeing kids have been out and this week! Hope you guys are having fun!

  49. Karen says:

    Thank you Tanya! Hope you are having a wonderful day. :)

  50. Karen says:

    Hey Tekoa,

    OH GAWD… fries are (were?) my guilty pleasure but now I’ve got to rethink them! Gross!

  51. Laura says:

    Hi There, it’s my first time posting so here goes:

    The 9 things I wish I didn’t know…!

    1) That my employers knew that I was being bullied at work but chose to do nothing about it.

    2) How happy all my ex-boyfriends are.

    3) What it’s like to be a size 14.

    4) That dogs will eat anything, even their own poop!…ewwww!

    5) That the only men who have loved me were my Dad and a handful of gay men.

    6) What it’s like to have bed bugs….double ewwww!

    7) That all my money that was spent on my university degree might as well have been spent on toilet paper.

    8) The thoughts that go through your head when you realize the condom broke.

    9) That Soylent Green is People!….ewwww!!!!

    Love your blog, it cheers me up!

    Laura’s last blog post..Taffy Likes…No, Loves Bauhaus

  52. Victoria says:

    Karen,
    To answer your question- no I am not an accountant but I think I should have been- I have a minor in business and always had an interest in it. The tax thing not sure how that happened I think I helped one friend file theirs and then before I knew it I was helping 20 …oh well maybe instead of working at a university I should hit up the IRS for a job-lol Have a great weekend…

  53. Megan says:

    So the song that makes me think of that kinda thing with girls storming the floor is actually sweet home alabama. It was kinda my sorority’s unofficial theme song…with some lyric rewrites. :-)So it was really the song where I remember the screaming drunk girl all over the place. :-)

  54. Tammy says:

    Laura…I am 100% with you on #7!!!

    The 9 Things I Wish I Didn’t Know

    1. The screams of my peers as we watched the 2nd tower go down on 9/11…my university in NJ faced the towers and we just stood there watching as it happened.

    2. What it’s like to lose my grandfather..also known as my dad/best friend.

    3. Seeing my best friend with over 100 stitches on her face after she got into a car accident (same week grandpa died).

    4. What it feels like to be made fun of (I was chubbers as a kid)

    5. To know that your “relationship” was just a game.

    6. Credit card/school loan debt.

    7. To know the words to most Kelly Clarkson & Avril Levigne (sp) songs..I don’t really like them but the hubby and his bf do..

    8. Racism

    9. Nothing lasts forever..

    **sorry for such a sad list..it’s just what came up after reading everyone else’s…

    Karen I’m going to do a spin off on my page and title is 9 Things I’m Glad I Know

    Tammy’s last blog post..Lust List

  55. That week I got into that accident, 3 friends BEFORE me already wrecked their cars – that same week! When I told my bf at the time, he thought I was just joking since our friends had gotten into accidents, lol.

    And thank you for always offering to lift my spirits :) I really appreciate it, you know and you know that you can also count on me to be your cheerleader when the need arises. That’s what us sisters do :)

    I think caringness as a species continues to deteriorate with each passing day. We all have something to take personal which is why we don’t over extend ourselves unless we’ve already felt like it’s worth it for us. I mean (rhetorically speaking), does it HAVE to be worth anything to just be a thoughtful and kind human being? To smile at the cashier, to ask “how is your day going”? We should just be kind and loving no matter what, yah?

    Mrs. Lynne, MakeupFix.net’s last blog post..Product Review: MAC Mineralize SPF 15 Foundation (Loose)

  56. Lea says:

    my 9 things:

    1. amount of school loan and credit card bill
    2. value of our property in today’s market
    3. losing my mother too soon and not having many memories with her
    4. betrayal from closest friends
    5. very ill kids, abused kids
    6. not being able to love back the person who’s inlove with you
    7. couples who cannot have children, parents who do not love their kids
    8. missing the “fall-in-love” feeling
    9. I will be in Toronto on release day of Sex And The City Movie =(

  57. Em says:

    - what it’s like to have acne (and get made fun of for it)
    - what its like to have to lie to be safe
    - what it’s like to lose someone you lovs

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