I’ve had other brushes with bangs, like the time my mom cut my hair into a lopsided Dorothy Hamill bowl cut, or the gravity defying ‘do I wore for a time in my hair bear teenage years (that thing ensnared more insects than a Venus Flytrap!), but none of them prepared me for the full-on blunt-cut bangs I embraced a few months ago.
And that’s because they weren’t just bangs. Dude. They were BANGS! — all caps, bold, with an exclamation mark.
I’ve liked having them these past months, but I gotta say — I wish I’d given more thought to what I was getting into before I took the plunge, because these real deal bangs have been a commitment.
For starters, there’s the monthly trims, and this is where it helps to have a stylist who does them for free. Ideally, he or she would also be someone you like to hang out with, because you’ll be visiting them often. Then there’s all of the doo-hickery involved in keeping them neat and tidy. To be blunt (ha!), there’s a lot.
So if you’re contemplating a jump to blunt, consider these three lessons I learned from getting bangs.
1. Expect to Itch
Good grief! The first week was the worst. I spent every waking moment resisting the urge to scratch my forehead and brows. It was hella annoying (coincidentally, this was when I started referring to my bangs as Lloyd Christmas), like that day I went to work in the city wearing ill-fitting underwear. I couldn’t really do anything about it at the time (going commando was not an option), so I just had to grin and bear it.
Thankfully, the itching subsided, and now Lloyd only gets on my nerves for a day or two after a trim.
2. Embrace the Chaos!
Lloyd doesn’t like physical activity. He prefers to sit still somewhere protected from the elements. What I mean to say is, bangs have a mind of their own. They part when/where you don’t want them to, get obnoxiously poofy and regularly stick out in strange ways. And you can pretty much forget about looking like a sexy Victoria’s Secret model in the mornings because that’s when they really misbehave.
If you have trouble giving up control (like moi), you could be in for quite the challenge.
3. Go with the Flow
Not to get too zen about it, but bangs are always in a state of flux. You can fight that change, or go with the flow. I recommend the later.
About three weeks after each trim, Lloyd goes on strike; that’s when the sh*t really hits the fan. By that point, my bangs have grown too long to wear brushed forward anymore (the hair gets in my eyes and I feel like a sheepdog), so I’ll start sweeping them to the side. And if I haven’t gotten a trim by week four or five, I’m usually wearing headbands and hats pretty much every day (and counting down the days to my next trim).
If you like to switch up your hairstyles often, you might be a good candidate for bangs, but if you like to wear the same no-nonsense look every day, buyer beware!
In all seriousness, bangs can be a pain, but I think they’re great, as long as you don’t mind having to put up with Lloyd Christmas along the way.
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,