Middle school dances were the worst. I don’t know why anybody thought they were fun.
Well…I know that there were some kids who probably had fun, like the kids in the popular clique who planned the dances. I bet they had a good time, but I never did. I always felt awkward sitting there in the bleachers, wringing my hands and tap-tap-tapping my lace-less Keds.
This was before it was OK to dance with a group of your girlfriends out on the dance floor, so you had to wait for someone to ask you, ugh! So painful. Nobody I ever actually wanted to dance with would ask me, which wasn’t a big surprise. I mean, I was beyond shy and awkward and nerdy.
I did get asked a couple times…which leads me to the unwritten rule of middle school dances (circa 1989), which is that two is the magic number.
I’m thinking about this because I’ve been all about “the twos” today. I’m rockin’ a new eyeshadow duo and a new lipstick duo from Benefit — They’re Real Duo Shadow Blender in Sexy Smokin’ ($24) and They’re Real Double the Lip lipstick ($20). They’re part of Benefit’s new spring collection (available now at Benefit stores and counters), which is all about duos.
With the eight neutral powder eyeshadow duos and the eight lipsticks, and they’re basically um… the whole deal is they make your eyes and lips look bigger, instantly.
The shadows have a funky round sponge applicator, which you swipe across the pan (the pan has the two shadows stacked on top of each other horizontally). You swipe the funky sponge across the pan, and then across your eye, with the darker shade closest to your lash line.
The idea is to make your eyes look bigger, brighter and schmexier with just one swipe.
And you do something similar with the lipsticks. They have a teardrop-shaped bullet, with a slighter darker color at the tip, so that when you swipe the tube across your lips, the darker edge makes the lighter part in the center pop.
So your lips look bigger. ?
I plan to do a full review of the whole collection soon, but today was all about Sexy Smokin’. It’s a dark, satiny, cool-toned brownish taupe, and a shiny, silvery taupe shimmer.
I’m all about the darker taupe, and when I wore it with my NARS primer last Saturday, it stayed put all day long.
So, back to the unwritten magical rule of twos… It was one of those things that nobody ever told my me or my friends. Ever.
You know how there were things that your friends never told you, and you had to figure out on your own? Well, one of them was that back in the late ’80s at middle school dances, you couldn’t just move your arms and feet to the beat however it moved you. There were, like, actual dance moves that the kids in my school did, like the snake, the running man, the kid ‘n’ play and the robocop #datingmyselfsohardrightnow. And the unwritten rule was that when you were dancing with somebody, you couldn’t just do one of these dances… You had to do two of them. Two dances.
For example, you could do both the snake and the robocop together, or the robocop and the wop.
Nobody ever explained why it was done this way, either. It was just understood.
Maybe it was for variety, or maybe it was because if you just did one dance by itself for the duration of a four-minute song, you would have been completely exhausted, because those dances were taxing! Maybe it was easier on your cardio if you did them together… 🙂 I dunno… Too funny.
So there it was — the unwritten two-dance rule.
The Santa Clarita Diet
In other news, I’m watching the craziest show on Netflix! It’s called The Santa Clarita Diet, and it stars Drew Barrymore and Timothy Olyphant, aka the guy I always mix up with Fergie’s husband (conspiracy theory: they’re the same dude).
It’s about a family in Southern California, and ruh-roh! Mom is a zombie.
It’s bananas! It’s clever, smart and random, and it doesn’t take itself too seriously.
I’m six episodes in, and there have already been so many times when I’ve gone, “WHAT THE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!”
Anyway, it speaks to my sense of humor. If you give it a watch one of these days, let me know what you think. ?
Your friendly neighborhood beauty addict,