Category: Tabs

Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 386

Published in: Just For Fun, Tabs

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Dear Diary,

The new hire starts soon, and I’ve been doing my level best to get the office ready.

She comes highly recommended by my chief assistant, so I’m very excited. From what I understand, she’s a good girl, so I’ve taken it upon myself to mold her in my most phenomenal kitty modeling image. She will be both my muse and my protégé, because I feel a responsibility to share my breadth of kitty modeling experience with the world.

I want to be a good mentor to her because I never really had one myself (other than Tim Gunn), and you know me; I like to excel at everything.

Of course, she’ll need to learn runway walking, because it’s such an essential skill. A lot of new models incorrectly assume that walking with fierce purr-pose comes naturally, but it actually takes a lot of practice to correctly shake your groove thang.

Also, in order to eventually run her own fashion and modeling empire, she’ll need to know how to delegate, because no cat is an island. It takes a team. Behind every successful kitty supermodel is an army of fur stylists, makeup artists, personal chefs, personal trainers, nutritionists and masseuses. The new girl has to know how to dish out orders to keep everyone working at peak efficiency.

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She also has to know how to lay the smackdown on wannabe divas, which is a skill I learned working with Naomi.

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Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 385

Published in: Just For Fun, Tabs

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Hello, my darlings. Happy Valentine’s Day to you all. This may come as a surprise to you, but this kitty supermodel is flying solo today.

I’m not bitter about it, though. I feel good about myself; I feel the love. I’m just a big ball of love right now, and Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate love.

I am, however, feeling a little nostalgic for some of the loves of my life, like Snowflake. We dated off and on for about two years… She was a fluffy Persian with beautiful blue eyes, and we got along fabulously. She loved fashion and modeling almost as much as I do, but she wasn’t ready to commit. She was kind of aloof and wishy-washy. In the end, it just didn’t work out, but I’m not mad about it. We’re still friends.

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Shortly after Snowflake, I met Taylor, and boy was she fun! She was loud, brash and bold with diva tendencies, but I learned something valuable in that relationship. I learned that two divas is one too many divas in the same relationship. The balance was off, and it was a recipe for drama.

Yup, the relationship only lasted one month…

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After Taylor, I starting seeing Adriana, a sultry Abyssinian.

SO sweet. SO sassy. But she was also afraid to commit.

Gosh, when I think about her now, I remember so many good times… We fit a lot of feline fun into about six months.

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Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 384

Published in: Just For Fun, Tabs

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Dear Diary,

As I sit here polishing my 2007 Super Bowl championship ring, I can’t help but feel a little bit nostalgic… As you know, I used to play professional ball for the Mill Valley Wildcats, and sometimes it surprises me that people don’t realize this. Yeah, my career, although it was short, taught me so much and prepared me for this life of fame and luxury.

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Football taught me discipline, toughness, and it taught me how to basically stand up and be fierce. And if you can handle the pressure of the Super Bowl, basically, you can handle anything, even Karl Lagerfeld on a bad day.

So I’m walking down memory lane today. I mean, without that opportunity, without playing tight end for the Wildcats, I don’t know what would have become of me. I was just a cat on the mean streets of Mill Valley when that scout discovered me and said that I had the right physique and temperament to be a star in the NFL.

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Unfortunately, my football career ended suddenly with a tail injury, but it gave me the confidence to transition over to kitty modeling. The rest is history.

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:)

Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 383

Published in: Just For Fun, Tabs

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Dear Diary,

I wanted to start this Sunday entry with some thoughtful, uplifting words…

But I’m crabby! — like, really crabby, and if I can’t tell you, Diary, who else is there? No one else knows me like you do.

Basically, I’m accustomed to having unprecedented, around-the-clock access to my primary pet assistant, in that she usually lets me climb all over her, put my butt in her face, and drape myself all over her forearms while she’s typing, but such has not been the case lately.

Like, yesterday, all I wanted to do was perch myself on top of her shoulder while she typed at the company keyboard, but she left the office early.

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Can you believe it? Not working on a Saturday?? The nerve of some cats and people… She smiled at me and breezily walked out the front door saying, “I have a baby shower today! See you later, Tabs!”

Yeah, I have no idea what that was about…

All I know is that I’ve been in dire need of lurvies and purring action, and if I don’t get some soon, I will be kicking kitty litter out of the litter box.

That reminds me — Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and I still have to find a date. I do have several prospects lined up, like Chiffon. She’s the lovely long-haired Persian I met at the vet last week, but it really depends on her schedule. She said that she might have to wash her fur that night or get some dental work done.
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Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 382

Published in: Just For Fun, Tabs

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Dear Diary,

I’m baaack! Guess who returned from the islands feeling refreshed and renewed? This cat right here.

I’m still going through some vacation withdrawals, so bear with me if I occassionally lapse into a Hawaiian chant or get up to do the hula.

Actually, I’m more of a Tahitian dancer myself… I’m all about the hips.

I had grand plans to spend last Friday recovering from my vacation, haha, but alas, I was thwarted. My two assistants (damn them) conspired against me.

OK, I’m being dramatic. (What? Me, dramatic?) It was time for my annual checkup and, purr usual, it was a whole Jason Bourne-caliber situation to get me there because my two assistants know that as much as I love taking care of this body, I hate taking it to the vet. So, they deceived me under the guise of “going to Nordstrom.” I happily entered my cat carrier thinking that I was going to be able to pick up some Burberry or Prada, but then we pulled up to the Mill Valley Cat Clinic instead…

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