Archive - Tabs

Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 365

Published in: Just For Fun, Tabs


TABS: Hey, Chance, what’s up?
CHANCE: Oh, hey, Tabs. How’s it going?


TABS: Good, good… Just finishing my workout. Hey, did you hear about Dillon?
CHANCE: No. What happened to Dillon?
TABS: He got the new Prada campaign.
TABS: Seriously.
CHANCE: Fo’ reals??


TABS: Fo’ reals. I just heard it from Tuxie. We were training together. He’s stretching right over there…


TABS: Yo, Tuxie! Chance doesn’t believe that Dillon got the Prada campaign.


TUXIE: I know, right!? I couldn’t believe it either, but my agent told me yesterday at lunch. He said that it was down to Dillon and Tabs, but they went with Dillon because they wanted a fresh face, whatever that means.
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Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 364

Published in: Just For Fun, Tabs


Cat purr-sues literacy


DEAR TABBY: I really enjoy it when my assistant reads to me. I find it very soothing, and I would love to be able to read to her and, in the future, to other cats. My assistant has been kind enough to tutor me, but I’m having a hard time picking it up. I used to think that I was a quick study because I’ve learned how to open the cupboards at the office, and I also understand doors, but this whole reading thing is going over my head.

I was wondering if you happened to know of any good reading programs for cats (free or paid), or if you have any tips. — EAGER READER IN REDDING

P.S. My friend Earl helped me write this letter because I couldn’t do it myself. :(

tabs-dear-tabby-circle-logoDEAR EAGER READER: I admire your stick-to-itiveness. Please know that you’re not the only cat out there who struggles with reading. It’s actually a very common issue — so common that I started an organization to help called Cats for Literacy. We have after-school programs for young kittens and evening programs for adult cats who want to improve their reading skills. Visit the website at to find a program near you.

Once you’re more comfortable with the fundamentals, practice by reading things you enjoy. I highly recommend Cat Fancy for its stunning photography and engaging profiles. And, of course, my column here.

I know that with dedicated study, you’ll be able to read Dear Tabby entirely on your own.

Cat deals with heavy petting


DEAR TABBY: My kitty modeling agency is small compared to yours, but even at my level, I’ve learned that good help is hard to find. My one and only assistant is great in many ways. She’s punctual, energetic when it comes to keeping me entertained with feather toys, and she’s a fantastic cook and gravy preparer, but she’s also the worst masseuse I have ever known. She has absolutely THE WORST petting technique.

She taps my head like I’m a dog and even — I kid you not — literally rubs me the wrong way.

I understand that every assistant has their strengths and weaknesses, and nobody is perfect. I definitely don’t expect perfection, but even if we could just slightly improve her petting abilities, it would be a big improvement.

I hope that my assistant doesn’t read this because I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Overall, I think she’s doing a wonderful job.

Tabby, what do you think I should do? Have you ever had an assistant that was great in so many ways but lacking in one particular area? And have you had much success sending employees to get outside training? — TOO MUCH TAPPING IN TOPEKA

tabs-dear-tabby-circle-logoDEAR TOO MUCH TAPPING: Of course I’d never admit this to my assistants because I like to keep them on their toes, but both of them are primo, top-notch at petting. I have, however, experienced a similar issue with one of my employee’s family members. My female employee’s mother does the same exact thing, and it drives me batty.

Here’s what I do: I let her get one or two pets in, but then after the third one I gently nip her on her hand — not to draw blood, but just as a reminder of who’s boss.

She’ll come at me again, of course — they always do — so I’ll repeat the process until she gets the technique right.

If this doesn’t work, you’ll need to escalate the situation, and I recommend dropping gentle hints. Print out a guide to successfully petting your cat. Google it. There are tons of them online. And place that on her desk first thing in the morning with a sticky that says, “FYI.”
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Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 363

Published in: Just For Fun, Tabs


I know that you know a lot about Tabs through his modeling, philanthropy and other endeavors — his fabulous life — but here’s a look behind the glam at what it’s really like to live with Tabs on a day-to-day basis.

I worry sometimes that he’s older than I always thought he was

I mentally prepare myself — scratch that. I keep trying to mentally prepare myself for the day when I wake up, and I don’t have Tabs there to greet me.

I can’t even handle the thought… It makes me so sad. :(

A few months ago, we took him to the vet for his regular checkup, and the vet said, “I think he may be a little older than we initially thought he was…” His eyes aren’t as bright as they once were, and he’s starting to slow down. He’s also getting ornerier, and he sleeps more during the day.

I worry that I might not have the time I thought I’d have with him, and I know that seems very greedy of me and self-centered, but I can’t help it. I just want my companion to live forever.




I think about collecting his whiskers…

A couple weeks ago I found one of his little whiskers — I call ’em little whiskees — while cleaning the living room, and his whiskees are interesting in that they aren’t all white. Some of them are black, and some of them are black with little sections of white.

I picked it up, and I walked up to El Hub and asked, “Do you think it would be too crazy cat lady if I saved all of Tabs’s whiskees?” because I’d been thinking about how when he finally goes to cross the rainbow bridge, I won’t have anything of his with me, and El Hub said, “Yes, that would be very crazy cat lady of you.”

So I threw it out…but you know what? I’m gonna start collecting his whiskees anyway, and then when he finally goes away, I’m probably going to spread his ashes on the hill behind us, because he loves being outside.




I feel guilty sometimes when I see outdoor kitties lounging around

Oh, Tabby, I wish you could be the outside cat that I know you see yourself as, always running around, chasing things and lounging about.

When I see kitties outside, especially at the end of the day enjoying the sunset or napping, I wish Tabs could have that same luxury, but I know that it’s probably safer for him to spend the evenings indoors. Where we live here in Novato, there are wide open spaces with coyotes (we see them a lot) and other predators around.


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Sundays With Tabs the Cat, Makeup and Beauty Blog Mascot, Vol. 362

Published in: Just For Fun, Tabs


Originally, Tabs and I planned to take a leisurely walk around the neighborhood this morning, but that all went to sh*t when the paparazzi showed up…

They’re relentless! They never leave Tabs alone.

On the one paw, he’s a camera hog who loves attention, but even kitty supermodels need their private time. Tabs thinks up his best work on his daily walks, and they’re when he does his best creative contemplation.









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