KAREN: Tabs the Cat Industries, LLC, Office of the President, Karen speaking. How may I help you?
RYGOS: Ryan Gosling Incorporated, Office of My Living Room, Ryan speaking.
KAREN: Ryan, you’re hella dumb!
RYGOS: Excuse me, what was that? Who says “hella”?
KAREN: Only the cool kids say hella… So you’re excluded, haha!
RYGOS: Oh, she has jokes.
KAREN: Yeah, yeah…
Dude, I’m kind of busy, so I can’t really chat right now. What’s up?
RYGOS: Oh, I’m sorry. You’re busy. Because you’re so important that you can’t make time for your old friend Ryan anymore.
KAREN: Ah, poor Ryan… It’s so hard to find somebody to talk to when you’re a famous actor.
RYGOS: Hey, now.
KAREN: Don’t worry. You’re still my number one favorite shirtless actor. I’m actually just trying to get out of here because I have dinner plans with El Hub tonight. It’s our eighth wedding anniversary.
RYGOS: Wow, eight already? Are you finally gonna give El Hub that medal?
KAREN: What medal?
RYGOS: You know, that medal for putting up with you.
KAREN: (…) What do you want, Ryan?
RYGOS: I need to get my sister a present.
KAREN: Go on. I like where this is headed.
RYGOS: She said she wanted a red lipstick from NARS, but of course I have no idea which one to get, so I thought I’d call my favorite crazy cat lady/friendly neighborhood beauty addict.
KAREN: Aw, flattery will get you everywhere.
RYGOS: Really? I’ve never heard that.
KAREN: OK, here’s what you do. Wait until July 15th, because that’s when the new NARS Night Caller fall collection comes out.