The new limited edition Guerlain Météorites Perles Les Ors Primer ($71)

Snow globes.

You know snow globes?

That’s what Guerlain’s new $71 Météorites Perles Les Ors Primer reminds me of — a snow globe. And meteoric pearls.

Sometimes I just tip the bottle up and down, back and forth, to watch the shimmery pink, white and gold highlighting beads slink through the clear gel…

Fascinating.

Guerlain’s good about sumptuous details and design, aren’t they? I think it’s just neat, like makeup eye candy. Amazingly to me, the fragile little beads don’t break down in the gel. I guess they’re just waiting to be loved.

The limited edition face primer bursts through Earth’s atmosphere with the Terra Ora collection next month. They’re designed to extend the wear time of face makeup when worn underneath it (handy in hot weather!), or to be worn alone on bare skin to impart a pinkish golden iridescence while making pores appear to softly fade away into the background…

The bottle comes with a pump. Pressing it magically mixes the pearls with the clear base, and out comes an oil-controlling shimmery pinkish golden gel.

I think it works okay as a primer — maybe as a “diet primer” or “primer light.” It feels nice and light on my skin, which I like, but it is awfully expensive.

You can definitely find other primers that soften the appearance of your pores and control oil more effectively for less, and I feel like it’s almost a shame to cover its iridescent pink and gold with foundation…

I prefer to use Météorites Perles Les Ors more to spotlight bare skin. The primer smooths and softens my pores and fine lines just enough — just shy of mannequin skin — and the pink and golden tones look breathtaking with just the faintest bit of bronzer dusted on top.

Guerlain Meteorites Perles Les Ors Primer unblended on the left and blended on the right (see the luminous hint of pink, yellow and gold?)

Guerlain’s Khol Me Kajal

“May your hair reach the highest of heights, may your heart be filled with love and laughter, and may your eyes remain richly rimmed with black liner, forever and eternity.”

I’m seriously thinking about making that my new standard goodbye…like a makeup nerd’s version of “live long and prosper.”

Way better than a boring old “see ya!” or “peace out,” right?

Speaking for myself, I’d love to get a greeting like that. I mean, black liner well wishes? I’ll take that.

Black liner’s one of those things that I hope never goes out of style. If it’s good enough for cats and Cleopatra, then hell! — it’s good enough for me. And it deserves a spot in my makeup bag.

The pretty packaging

These days, Guerlain’s new deep, rich matte black $37 Khol Me Kajal pencil in Noir Volcanique (“Black Volcano”), from the brand’s Terra Ora summer collection, has been keeping me company, both as a liner and an eye shadow (it doubles as both).

The crayon-shaped tip is fixed — doesn’t twist up or down — so you just use it down to a nub.

You probably could try sharpening the tip, but I wouldn’t recommend it (I actually tried and mangled the tip).

The pencil formula itself feels hard to me, and yet, surprisingly, the liner glides along my skin, almost like a gel.

Guerlain Khol Me Kajal Swatch

It’s a bronzed, bronzed world with the new Guerlain Terra Nerolia bronzer

And the ref counts, “…seven…eight…nine…10!” Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!

That’s it, folks. It’s over. The new $69 Guerlain Terra Nerolia is a knockout!

But seriously, in what world is $69 reasonable for a bronzer? My accountant mother certainly wouldn’t approve. She likes to walk places because of the stray coins she finds along the way (love you, Mom!).

Of course, she isn’t obsessed with bronzer, either, so there’s also that…

To even consider Guerlain’s new Terra Nerolia, you should probably love bronzer (like, you wear it every single day and feel naked without it) and have a debilitating weakness for luxe brands.

Because sh*t’s really, really expensive…so you’re going to want to love it on every single level.

And that’s exactly what Guerlain wants.

They started with the presentation and Terra Nerolia’s sunburst pattern. The first time I opened the over-sized 0.67-ounce pan and saw that gold, peach and bronze, I thought two words: Ancient Mayans.

Guerlain Terra Nerolia from the left: both shades blended and applied with a blush brush, the tan powder, and then the peach powder on the right

Then I caught a whiff of the tiare flower scent and thought, “Hawaiian vacation.”

Guerlain’s Terra Nerolia on my cheeks, below my cheekbones and around the edges of my face

Guerlain’s new $35 Cuivre Ora Loose Powder Eye Shadow is coming to counters next month

How do you feel about shiny baubles? Personally, I’m a fan (especially costume stuff).

Guerlain feels pretty good about ‘em, too, and their new coppery Cuivre (which means “copper” in French) Ora Loose Powder Eye Shadow works like a shiny bauble in some visually arresting ways.

Shiny like a copper keepsake — and intense! — it jazzes up whatever else you’ve got going on, in my case, a simple black eye liner, bronzer and a gloss in peachy gold.

That’s Guerlain Cuivre Ora Loose Powder Eye Shadow, Guerlain’s Khol Me Kajal liner and Guerlain Cils D’Enfer Mascara on my eyes

Part of the new 10-piece Terra Ora summer makeup collection, Cuivre quivers on counters next month.

Guerlain Cuivre Ora Loose Powder Eye Shadow is one of two loose shadows in the new Terra Ora collection (the other, Bronze Ora, is a shimmery bronzed brown)

Guerlain’s got serious game when it comes to bronzers and bronzing makeup, so it makes sense that they’d release something like Cuivre.

I really how it looks with a tan and just the overall liquid metal effect. I think it’s also more intense when I press or glide it directly on my lids with the sponge-tip applicator instead of a separate brush.

Blink, and you see a flash of shimmer, which looks super cool, like sunlight on a polished piece of gold, and you don’t need multiple layers, either. Nope, it’s that pigmented and intense.

Guerlain Cuivre Ora Loose Powder Eye Shadow on my NC 42 skin

Guerlain Gloss D’Enfer Maxi Shine

What’s a Chanel lip gloss lover to do when she still feels a throbbing hole in her heart where the Aqualumiere Glosses once lived?

The lightweight, shiny Aqualumieres have been gone for years, and yet I still shed sparkly tears whenever I think about them…

Oh, the sweet, sweet misery!

R.I.P., Candy Glow. *sniffs*

Next time I get all emo for an Aqualumiere and feel the urge to pour a 40 on the ground (or in my case 6 ounces of chai latte), I’ll just grab one of these new splurge-worthy Gloss D’Enfer Maxi Shines from Guerlain.

For a polished chrome shine a mirror would envy, just whip out the flat flocked applicator (ergonomically shaped for easier application), and slick your lips with one of 20 available shades, which vary from shy girl quiet sheerness to HAAAY BOO! — we’re going full-on drag-caliber opacity tonight.

What’s more, these glosses look and feel exactly like the Aqualumieres!

Well, darned near. Same crystal ball-like finish, same smooth, non-sticky texture, lightweight formula and two-hour wear time.

Heck, they could almost pass for identical makeup twins.

Almost.

Guerlain’s Maxi Shines do have a rosy scent and flavor the Aqualumieres didn’t have, but I like it. It’s not overpowering. I think it’s quite elegant, in fact.

Top row: 400 Gold Tchlack, 460 Rose Splatch, 402 Browny Clap, 463 La Petite Robe Noir and 468 Candy Stripe; bottom row: 467 Cherry Swing, 471 Prune Zip, 420 Rouge Schebam, 441 Tangerine Vlam and 421 Red Pow

Guerlain Gloss D’Enfer Maxi Shine in 421 Red Pow

Guerlain Gloss D’Enfer Maxi Shine in 471 Prune Zip